Veronica Deramous Cuts Out Her Own Rectum

Funny story written by Aisubeki Akiudo

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

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(Defecated News)Washington's most hated woman, Veronica Deramous, was rushed to hospital last night after cutting out her own rectum, anus, and most of her left buttock with broken glass.

The lady, described by many as a 'fucking scum, skanky piece of shit muthafucka.' made the news recently after she cut a pregnant woman's stomach open trying to steal her baby. Mother and baby are doing well.

"Deramous was found in her cell, face down and unconscious, presumably from the blood loss", explained Officer Reuben Funkenstein.

"Her ass was up in the air, well, what remains of it and a broken drinking glass was seen in her left hand. It appeared that she had smashed the glass, and cut out around 40% of her ass, including her shithole and left buttock ", he added.

During the journey to the hospital in an ambulance, Deramous had been accidentally dropped on her backside an amazing forty times, causing further bleeding, suffering and irreversible damage.

Surgeon are due to operate in a few weeks, as they admitted to being 'a bit too busy for her right now'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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