Top Christmas Films Revealed
This week Channel 11 will show a documentary listing Britain's favourite ever Christmas films, as voted for by the public. Here exclusively in TheSpoof we reveal the top 5. In 5th place was "Oh no, my sister is Santa!", a hilarious Hollywood comed...
Read full storyPrince William Spends a Week in Crack Den
It emerged today that Prince William, has secretly spent the last week in a crack den to better understand the effects of the notorious drug, crack-cocaine. Stumbling out of a squat in Brixton, South West London, the second in line to the throne look...
Read full story'I Can't Write Satire or Spoofs!' by Charles Dickens
As snow began to fall outside Charles Dickens' 'Old Pomposity Shoppe' in London, that writer finally accepted defeat after years of trying to write satire, but ending up droning on about nothing so badly that people who started reading his articles gave up after only a few sentences, out of sheer boredom. 'Everything I write is total humbug!', he muttered to himself, when a knock came at the door.
Read full storyJack Tweed Arrested For Shitting In A Sandwich
Police last night arrested Jack Tweed on suspicion of acts against public decency. HE was taken in by Snaresbrook Police in Essex following complaints from local residents and shopkeepers. The 22 year old widower of dead beached whale Jade 'Fat Cu...
Read full storyKid Rock, Ted Nugent Host Motown Christmas Special
Filmed in advance on the extensive acreage of the Nugent farm and permanent hunt club, the 2009 Motown Christmas Special will feature some of Motown's hottest talent against the snowy backdrop of Nugent's personal forest. Though production challen...
Read full storyPolice Set 'Honey Trap' for the Bottom Sniffer
Police in Plymouth have been searching for the notorious bottom sniffer who has been frequenting Cornish supermarkets, ever since news broke of the man's peculiar practice, and today their efforts have paid off. A man was caught on CCTV paying 'un...
Read full storyGay Welsh Rugby star admits "I'm the only gay in the village" and joins Irish Hurling star in bed, lovely pair!
As if the sporting world hasn't enough scandals to deal with yet another SHOCKWAVE hits another bastion of REAL MENS ONLY sport, Rugby and the question now is, when are men REAL MEN??? "I'm Gay" outed Welsh Rugby star, Gareth Thomas, "I've kept my...
Read full storyThe Secret of Christmas Island (The Kickoff)
IP Newswire: Thomas Spanks, noted physicist, botanist, private pilot, skydiver and with absolutely no connection in any way to Her Majesty's Security Service, also known as MI5, was reported lost somewhere over Christmas Island in the early morning hours. Followed by Indonesian radar as his plane passed well west and north of Jakarta, Spanks twin engine Gulfstream was seen losing altitude un...
Read full storyKelly Osbourne Enjoyed Dancing With The Stars So Much She Asks To Return Again Next Season
HOLLYWOOD - The cute, little, dumpling Kelly Osbourne said that she had such a fantastic time performing on Dancing With The Stars that she has asked the producers to allow her to return and compete again next year. Dancing With The Stars Producer...
Read full storyA Grammy Night You'll Never Forget, No Matter How Hard You Try!
The 52nd Annual Grammy Awards will have no shortage of powerhouse artists performing on January 31st, 2010 at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Fred Durst and Jennifer Lopez are among the first round of performers that have already committed to...
Read full storyNuclear Iran call the US "lying infidels" and will stop at nothing to prove them right!
The Iranian President has called the US "a bunch of lying, evil infidels" and has promised the US that Iran will stop at nothing to prove they are right??? (what!) US claims upon claims that Iran is about to launch a nuclear weapon, destroy the wo...
Read full story'Twas The Night Before Christmas 2009
'Twas The Night Before Christmas 2009 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring except me and my spouse All the presents were wrapped the stockings full of stuff my wife, she did sigh as she sat 'oh', I said, 'you think you have it rough' The children were all nestled, snug in their beds while I looked at the race track and doll house...
Read full storyGod Loves a Tyre
As an expression it has been used for generations when patting a loser on the back for failing to win, but as it turns out, the oft quoted line of "God loves a trier" is wrong. God in fact loves a tyre. And not just any old tyre. God loves Mich...
Read full storyDutch 14 year old girl sails around the world, thinks she's pregnant, get's lost and smuggles drugs. They start young these days!
14 year-old Dutch girl sailor, Laura Dekker, has been found fit, well, not pregnant, but her boat was filled with drugs! After a desperate global search for the very young round the world sailor she was found in the Dutch Antilles. Initial re...
Read full storyFBI's Michael Jackson dossier 'still protecting the Bushes'
Los Angeles - (Risible): Three hundred pages of classified FBI twaddle on Michael Jackson have been published in a massive disinformation blinder. All mention of the real, dark-skinned African American entertainer's death circa 1990 have been sys...
Read full storyAmericans get new national anthem
Tired of being laughed at for being the English-speaking world's permanent jokes, the USA today changed their national anthem from 'The Star Bangled Spanner' to the John Lennon song 'Revolution 1', in honour of Englishman Lennon managing to end the USA's feeble involvement in the Vietnam War for them. And also in revenge for any articles here laughing at the feeble USA being rewritten by the s...
Read full storySmugzone layer saved, pointless t*ats reconsider existence
After this week's welcome news that political-conscience rockers Rage Against the Machine had beaten the bastard child of Simon Cowell and Cheryl Cole to the coveted Xmas Number One spot, we can exclusively reveal that the earth's protective smug-zon...
Read full storyNordegren paternity claimants: Two plumbers, two mailmen, one pool boy
Controversy over the paternity of Elin Nordegren's children first erupted on December 17, when The Spoof reported Elin's claim that an unnamed 'pool boy' was the father of her children, rather than her husband, Tiger Woods. On the following day, T...
Read full storyPhysicist explains: global warming 'will happen all at once'
Climate scientists have long been struggling to account both for global warming, and for recent trends that show Earth's atmospheric temperature has been constant, or even falling, over the last decade. 'That is because they don't understand the p...
Read full storyIn Order To Survive We Must Become Cockroaches
How do you feel about becoming a cockroach? Could you stand being yourself? The Dalai Lama in his press conference this morning, set out to warn that each of us may have to adjust in a post nuclear world, to becoming cockroaches. "That may be t...
Read full storyBilly Joel Arrested For Pissing Behind Bar
The Piano Man with bread in his jar should have used a jar Friday night as police in New York claim they arrested Joel for exposing himself while pissing behind a bar. An attorney for Joel says that his client has nothing to say but that he could...
Read full storyNewlywed Kevin Jonas Promises His Wife He Well Never Ever Play Golf
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - The honeymooning newlywed groom Kevin Jonas, one-third of the Jonas Brothers, has made a promise to his new bride, Danielle, that he will never ever play golf. A relieved Danielle heaved a sigh of relief and told him that...
Read full storyRehab theme park planned for child actors
Plans have been revealed today for a rehabilitation theme park, which will cater exclusively for former child stars. Several well know experts in the area of child star rehabilitation have been consulted including former stars and rehab regulars B...
Read full story"I'm Carrying my Brother's Baby" claims Tila Tequila, Blaming Worm at Bottom of Bottle for Insemination!
Avowed Lesbian 'personality' Tila Tequila announced today that she was the 'surrogate' mother for her brother and his wife, a shocking revelation that left her 'fiance' Casey Johnson broken hearted with the news. Claiming that the pregnancy was t...
Read full storyTiger Woods to be Deployed to Afghanistan
The golfing world is in shock today after Tiger Woods announced that he is to be deployed to Afghanistan to help US forces combat the rising insurgency there. The news broke after the 33-year-old golfer held an impromptu press conference yesterday at...
Read full storyHull City Sack Phil Brown, Appoint Mark Hughes
Dramatic news in East Yorkshire in the last few minutes after Hull City announced they have terminated the contract of Phil Brown and have already appointed his successor, the former Manchester City manager, Mark Hughes. Sources close to the club...
Read full storyXXX-Factor
With the news that his show has failed to take the number one Christmas song spot for the first time ever, Simon Cowell is promising a radical shake up of the X-Factor next year. "There's no more Mr Nice guy," said Cowell, renowned for never being...
Read full storyThe Most Beautiful Girl In The World
Oh, Farida! How wondrous thy name upon my lips! On that beach, as you danced, those swaying hips, Your wonderful, beaming, cheeky smile, Red swimsuit, flowing hair - I should have had you right there How could we tell Each other of our love? You spoke only Arabic and French; And I, only, A crippled form of English. The cultural divide, How could it be breached? And yet, I've hea...
Read full storyBrad Pitt, Harrison Ford Cast in Godfather IV
Hollywood is a buzz this morning over the recent casting announcements for Godfather Part IV, including Harrison Ford as Michael Corleone and Brad Pitt as his son Anthony. With a screenplay written by Happy Madison productions (Adam Sandler), dire...
Read full storyPlanes cannot possibly fly
The same scientist who came up with the remarkable observation that bees cannot fly because they are aerodynamically unstable, despite all evidence to the contrary, has now declared that planes too cannot fly. "It's perfectly simple," said Valdima...
Read full storyChristmas Riot
Hordes of shoppers have descended on a small toy shop in Chipping Norton when it was revealed that they had three Twisting Turtles for sale. The Twisting Turtles are this year's MUST HAVE toy for the fashion conscious child. With much less arsenic...
Read full storyTribute To Jalapenoman
Jman, often known as J-man The only American I like, And I'm not even sure about him, to be honest Ah, go on! On yer bike! I've never met the J-man But he's from New Mexico I'm told. He weighed just over 400 pounds When only 15 years old. That's just background information, Nothing derogatory, I wouldn't speak ill of the J-man He might sit on me If he could catch me, which he c...
Read full storyTaylor Lautner and Taylor Swift Suck Face
Hyped as one of the biggest videos yet to be released in 2010, singer Taylor Swift and New Noon star Taylor Lautner will trade saliva for an upcoming Valentines Day video. Director for the video, Noel Pantlode, tells entertainment reporters, "It h...
Read full storySomali Pirates Association Terminates Tiger Woods' Endorsement Deal
Following the example of Accenture, Inc. and the Tag Heuer watch company, The Somali Pirates Association has decided to end its endorsement of Tiger Woods. From Mogadishu, Sheik Abdul Kissamabutt, spokesperson for the organization announced, "We are...
Read full storyObama Dichotomy: Administration Rapes Taxpayers While Advocating Withholding Sex to Opponents!
Fresh off the heels of a massive buyout of extortion minded Democratic Senators to pass his 2500 page health care bill, Obama directed his militant Blogging Arm to issue a video calling for the withholding of sex from anyone who opposed his policies!...
Read full storyAnother Black Centenarian Dies on President Obama's Watch
ATLANTA, Georgia - The world's oldest woman, Ann Nixon Cooper, the Atlanta woman whose name Barack Obama invoked to symbolize America's struggles and progress, died in her sleep Monday. This is the second black centenarian to die on the President'...
Read full storyBrittany Murphy was pregnant says Mohammed Al Fayed
Los Angeles - (Clueless): The Harrabs Phoney Pharaoh has fired off a warming email to the LA district coroner following news of the actress/singer's tragic death this weekend. Fayed, 69, has been convinced of a multiple celeb pregnancy cover-ups e...
Read full storyMrs. Claus to Oprah: I Had Sex with Tiger Woods!
NORTH POLE, A.P. - Mrs. Santa Claus revealed she had a brief but fiery relationship with Tiger Woods in a tell-all interview with Oprah Winfrey today. Mrs. Claus, a sprightly Caucasian elf who remains quite fetching for a centenarian, said she ev...
Read full storyTiger Woods Tried To Bum Caddie
Tiger Woods' caddie Steve Williams has made an extraordinary claim to friends in New Zealand that his employer "tried it on" with him during the US Masters in Augusta in 2008. Williams said that he had had a good relationship with the golfer up un...
Read full storyEmo Books Put Negative Criticisms on Dust Jacket to Boost Sales
Bristol, CT- Rusty Razor Press, a small publisher of music magazines and cult fiction, has announced a new marketing strategy to boost sales among their core audience. Rusty Razor Press will start printing negative reviews received from readers of ad...
Read full storyThe Idaho Ku Klux Klan Wants To Have A Little Talk With Tiger Woods, The White Woman Heartbreaker
IDAHO FALLS, Idaho - Well now it seems that the Idaho chapter of the Ku Klux Klan is looking into allegations that Eldrick Tont Woods, aka Tiger Woods wantonly, willingly, and wimpishly disrespected at least twelve white women who all just happen to...
Read full storySenator to Get Stealth Bomber for Health Vote
WASHINGTON, DC - Capitol Hill insiders report that Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL) will get a B-1B Stealth Bomber for personal use, in exchange for his vote in support of Obama's Health Bill. Senator Durbin is very excited, and was overheard saying "with...
Read full storyI Broke My Hand
Here is another in the series of poems that I wrote whilst either standing at a bus stop, or engaged in a toilet activity. A relatively short poem, this. Despite it's brevity, I think it describes everything that happened in a concise and informative way. And, although it lacks any symbolism or imagery, its sparseness indicates the loss to which I was at to explain the incident fully, and is re...
Read full storyFirst snow fall in South-East England ever makes region grind to a halt
For 4,000 years since the end of the last Ice Age, when the English Channel's water melted and soon the English were arriving in Kent to start Morris dancing, playing cricket and generally being odd, there has never been any snow in that part of the...
Read full storySacked Stones Guitarist Joins Bonkettes
Rolling Stones guitarist Ron Wood, who simply exemplified how stupid old geezers can be, by running off with a 21 year old Russian gold digger named Ekaterina, who was in no way in it for the money, today revealed how stupid he really is. "She was...
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