Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

image for Kelly Osbourne Enjoyed Dancing With The Stars So Much She Asks To Return Again Next Season
Kelly wearing a black wig and listening to her partner Louis Van Amstel critique her hokey-pokey dance number.

HOLLYWOOD - The cute, little, dumpling Kelly Osbourne said that she had such a fantastic time performing on Dancing With The Stars that she has asked the producers to allow her to return and compete again next year.

Dancing With The Stars Producers Bernadette Penderlicki and Curtis Verflippet have said that in the shows nine season history they have never had a celebrity return the following year, but they are looking into the possibility.

Kelly with her 13 tattoos, plumpish calves, and round little urchin face was certainly one of the most popular contestants to ever appear on the reality dance show.

The 25-year-old daughter of Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne ended up taking third place.

Head judge Len Goodman, the crotchety 85-year-old geezer from Great Britain, said that watching little Kelly evolve was a heart-warming experience.

He said he remembers the first time that he saw her at rehearsal she could barely even do a full spin. He said that he suggested that she could probably do a lot better if she removed her thigh-high wooden clogs.

She did and she remarked that it really made quite a difference. She also decided to remove the two pounds of bling-bling that she had around her neck.

At the beginning Kelly said that she was so bad that her partner Louis Van Amstel told her that he would much rather dance with a boa constrictor.

She got so mad that she kicked him in the 'nads and he kind of never made a remark like that again.

Louis said that Kelly has been his biggest challenge. He said that it took him a week to get her to shave her armpits. Then it was about three days after that, that he convinced her to start wearing panties.

Kelly agreed to that saying, that she noticed that when she was wearing a dress and Louis picked her up and held her upside down that the camera crew all took out their cell phones and started taking pictures.

Kelly said that she really did not mind, but it drove Louis crazy because he said that the sight of her bearded taco was a tremendous distraction.

Louis also said that he had never heard anyone, female or male curse as much as Kelly did. He said that every other word was a cuss word. (Blank) this, and (blank) that, and mother (blankin') that, and what do you think about my two(blanks), and haven't I got the prettiest little (blank) you have ever seen.

Van Amstel said that at one point it got so bad that he went to Bernadette Penderlicki (the executive producer) and told her that he wanted her to double his salary.

When Penderlicki saw the video of their rehearsal her mouth flew open and she said, "I am so sorry Louis, I will certainly be doubling your salary, no problem."

In an unrelated developing story. The Ann Coulter-Meghan McCain feud continues to get extremely heated. McCain recently stated that the difference between the anorexic looking Ann Coulter and a drink swizzle stick is that if you had to, you could eat the swizzle stick.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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