Written by cerealbiatch

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

image for Rehab theme park planned for child actors
The 'Cold Turkey' coaster

Plans have been revealed today for a rehabilitation theme park, which will cater exclusively for former child stars.

Several well know experts in the area of child star rehabilitation have been consulted including former stars and rehab regulars Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan.

A spokesperson for Nisdey, the company behind the park, has confirmed that the two are currently negotiating for a 30-year contract that will give the renowned corporation the exclusive rights to their rehabilitation care.

"We are at present in negations with Ms Spears and Ms Lohan. The contracts are understandably taking quite a while to iron out; a 30-year contract is an extremely serious matter. It cannot and should not be rushed. We do not realistically expect either of them to live that long. Statistics show that in this day and age most celebrities don't make it past the age 32, but just in case we are covering all of our bases".

The park, which is scheduled to open its doors for the very first time in February 2010 has an estimated build cost of $450,000,000 and is expected to attract 40-50 former child stars in its first 6 months alone. Mr.Greenberg who invested over $50,000,000 of his own money in the build says it will be a phenomenal success.

"I believe indisputably that this park will be a huge success. For the last 10 years, every year the number of former child stars that require treatment in rehabilitation centres has increased and is guaranteed to keep on increasing. In the current economic times wise investments are few and far between but this is a sure thing. Today's child stars are tomorrows forgotten adults. I have extremely high hopes for today's stars such as Miley Cyrus, The Sprouse twins, Vanessa Hudgens, Hilary Duff and Zac Efron and hope someday as manager of the park to be negotiating contracts with them also."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Rehab, Theme Park

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