Another Black Centenarian Dies on President Obama's Watch

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

image for Another Black Centenarian Dies on President Obama's Watch
President Obama's death squad marches on.

ATLANTA, Georgia - The world's oldest woman, Ann Nixon Cooper, the Atlanta woman whose name Barack Obama invoked to symbolize America's struggles and progress, died in her sleep Monday.

This is the second black centenarian to die on the President's watch this year: Gertrude Baines, a Los Angeles woman who also lived to become the world's oldest woman - notably on a steady diet of crispy bacon, fried chicken and ice cream - also died in her sleep at a nursing home shortly after the President took office.

She was 115.

Cooper was 107.

When Obama was sworn in as president, Cooper called it one of the greatest days of her life.

Little did she know it would also be one of her last.

Cooper was born in Tennessee in 1902 and grew up in Nashville working as domestic help for wealthy whites - and somehow managed not to simply stay alive, but in fact thrived for several decades, and then some.

Until Barack Hussein Obama took office. Otherwise, she might have lived forever.

Ironically, her credo of "keep smiling, get out, and vote your choice" was her undoing in the end.

The San Francisco Onion attempted to contact President Obama, who was conveniently unavailable for comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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