There were 1,096 spoof news stories published in December 2008. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Miley Cyrus Vagina Now More Popular Than Britney Spears Vagina
There was great excitement in the entertainment sector today when the results of a nationwide survey revealed that the vagina owned by Miley Cyrus is now more popular than that of Britney Spears. The vaginas, both very similar in design, are curre...
Read full storyPictures of Jessica Alba's shaved pussy shown to very interested Vanessa Hudgens
Sultry 'Sin City' hotty Jessica Alba has handed over photographs of her shaven pussy (her cat of course!) to High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens for further inspection. Alba says her cat had an accident involving a hedge trimmer at her Beverl...
Read full storyHow to talk shit like a professional
Preface: This is another one of those "Jesus Budda self help advice columns". It's essentially shit. Which is good for the purposes of the article. Learning Materials: A human being with a voice box capable of emitting sounds(most likely yourself), a sarcastic tone, a light bulb (for use in darkened areas in which you need to see the person (s) you are about to talk shit to, a bag of drie...
Read full storyBrenda Song & Rob Pattinson To star in Indie film, ''Burning Star''
Brenda Song and Rob Pattinson are set to star together in a new porn independent film called, "Burning Star". The new couple would like to appear in serious films for 20 year olds. Pattinson has one other movie to shoot and Song has one more seas...
Read full storyTeen queens, Brenda Song and Selena Gomez have a surprise for eveyone!
Teen queens, Brenda Song and Selena Gomez are reportedly petitioning to appear on the cover of a magazine, but they want to do it fully nude. Song, 20 and Gomez, 16 are both planning to appear on the cover of the magazine (like Miley did not so l...
Read full storyMossad Pension Fund hit for $900 million in Madoff Ponzi scam
Tel Aviv - (Sorry Ass Mess): The Israeli secret intelligence service is hopping mad after Off-the-Wall-St trader Bernard Madoff lost 95% of the Mossad's pension fund in his $50 billion hedge fund collapse. "How come we didn't see this one coming?"...
Read full storyRedneck Bible Interpretation: Genesis 1:1 - 2:3
The Story of Creation Genesis 1:1 - 2:3 In the beginning, before God got to creating stuff there weren't much around. 'Cept darkness and water. Nothing else, though. God would fix that PDQ. The first day God must've got tired of wandering around in the dark because He made light. I reckon He was happy with it 'cause He seperated from it the dark- sorta like you would put all your bolts in o...
Read full storyAnne Robinson And Judge Judy Are The Newest Members Of The PussyCat Dolls!
The manager of the pop tarts Pussycat Dolls, has kicked out two members of the loveable hooker group and has replaced them with celebrity hard women; Anne Robinson and Judge Judy Sheindlin. The manager defending his decision said " The Pussycat D...
Read full storyJohn Lennon: Ten Little Known Facts About Beatle John
SAN ANTONIO, Texas - December 8, 2008, will mark the 28th anniversary of John Lennon's passing. John, Paul, George, and Ringo (the Beatles) still remain the most famous band of all-time. Ten Little Known Facts About John Lennon: 1. He hated t…
Read full storyWorld Record Peeing Record Broken
Uri Nator of the Gambia has just broken the world record for peeing, slashing the previous record held by Jimmy Riddle of Wolverhampton. Riddle's record was an astounding one minute seventeen seconds, but Nator waded in with five minutes twelve se...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus, Vanessa hudgens and Jamie Lynn Spears in pregnancy scare
Miley Cyrus got the fright of her life when she got her home pregnancy test mixed up with friend Jamie Lynn Spears last month. The confusion arose whilst the two decided to try out some complimentary pregnancy kits Miley had received as part of a...
Read full storyMan with Worlds Hairiest Balls says he sweats too much in hot climates
Johnny Crown, the man with the Worlds Hairiest testicles, says he gets incredibly sweaty when visiting hot climates. "I get so hot and sticky. My balls really start itching like crazy. I just need to jump into a cold shower to cool off", moaned Jo...
Read full storyThe Twelve Days of Christmas Revisited
In respect of today's economic climate the old Christmas song "The Twelve Days of Christmas" are in need of readjusting (Bringing it into 21st century). The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be the cash crop forecasted. It will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance. The two turtle doves represent a redundancy t...
Read full storyX Factor Diana Vickers Shits Her Knickers Story just reached 100 Views!
There was amazing news from Monkey Woods' writers desk at TheSpoof.com this morning, when it was revealed that a story by the amateur scribbler and social commentator had, in only three days, racked up more than 100 views worldwide! The story, Dia...
Read full storyScientists Find Howard Stern's Penis to be Smallest Unit on Earth
ENGLAND - In breaking news that is shaking the science world, scientists at Bourge' Laboratory located just outside Liverpool have discovered that the smallest unit of matter on Earth is not the atom which has been known to be the smallest unit on Ea...
Read full storyZac Efron has Trouble with his Cock - wonders if he really needs it
Uh oh! Zac Efron is having cock trouble again and this time it's serious. The High School Musical prick just can't keep it under control. He's tried everything from tieing it down with garden takes, jamming it in a cupboard and even considering ge...
Read full storyBrenda Song and Rob Pattinson Hook Up - For revenge!
Brenda Song and Rob Pattinson are reportedly a couple, well according to the voices in my head they are. And furthermore, my vivid imagination tells me that Song, 20, and Pattinson, 20, are hooking up for revenge. Pattinson dated Joe Jonas's curr...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens' Ass Smells - Friends Complain about stepping in piles of Shit at her House and foul stench on her furniture
Vanessa Hudgens' ass problems just keep on getting worse! Now her closest friends are publicly complaining about the stench and the large amounts of of sticky shit that covers that stars carpets and furniture. It's now gone out of all control that...
Read full storyDiana Vickers Shits Her Knickers
Viewers of ITV's X Factor were shocked and stunned last night, when singing sensation Diana Vickers was eliminated from the competition, and, in front of milllions watching on TV, promptly shit her knickers. Show host Dermot O'Leary caught some of...
Read full story100 reasons why you're still Single!
Why are you still single? Possibly because you... 1.Call Grey's Anatomy simply "Grey's" 2.Have entertained the notion that "the Axe Effect" is real 3.Own tie-dyed gym clothes 4. Purchased your dining room set with Marlboro Miles 5. Are only gay when you're drunk 6. Have written poetry inside a Starbucks 7. Wink in a rakish manner each time you tell a joke 8. Have a ferret...
Read full storyBrenda Song and Joe Jonas Hooking Up again?
Teen queen, Brenda Song and teen heartthrob Joe Jonas were spotted again in my dreams, this time alone and flirting. Jonas, 19, and Song, 20, were rumored to be dating for a while in February to July of 2008. The two darlings denied it several ti...
Read full storyHobos Getting High on Battery Acid and Aspartame
DETROIT - Now that lots full of new cars are being abandoned, hobos are moving in to 'salvage' the battery acid and cook up a new treat for the street. Normally too sour to consume, the battery acid is mixed with pure aspartame to make a sweet tangy...
Read full storyBrainy fans storm the BBC as the 'Eggheads' haughty C.J is replaced by born-to-be bullied Barry!
Angry fans of the the hit BBC programme, 'Eggheads' stormed the BBC in two days time. Pushing Jeremy Vine to the floor, and kicking him around his pious knackers. The upset fans rampaged through the studios, armed with encyclopaedia's, trivia books,...
Read full storyEmergency Room Nurse Reveals Plaxico Burress Shot Off His Penis
A Nurse at the emergency room that treated New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress has revealed anonymously that he shot off his penis in the night club accident Thanksgiving weekend. Burress has been placed on injured reserve by the team pend...
Read full storyTeen queen, Brenda Song Admits Dating Joe Jonas
JORENDA FANS rejoce! Teen queen, Brenda Song has finally comfirmed that she dated teen tunk Joe Jonas. After a long period of denying they were ever a couple, Song finally tells the truth. The two Disney darlings both denied dating for several months...
Read full storyAkrit Jaswal, The 12-Year-Old Indian Doctor, Finds Cure For Boredom
Akrit Jaswal, the 12-year-old Indian boy, who has all the medical knowledge and experience of all the UK's doctors put together, has made a significant breakthrough in the search for a cure for boredom. Akrit is thought to have an IQ higher than E...
Read full storyAdult film star humiliated by sex tape scandal
Adult film star Mandy Myst tearfully addressed members of the media yesterday and confirmed reports of a sex tape circulating around the internet that features her engaging in all manner of sexual behavior. The actress - known for engaging in all man...
Read full storyJehovah's Witnesses to Deliver Mail
In a move that proponents say will save the federal government millions of dollars, the United States Postal Service announced today that the Watchtower Bible And Tract Society will begin having it's members deliver the mail. Known as Jehovah's W...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens slammed for Mexico's Naked Virgin of Guadalupe magazine front cover
Mexico City - (Naked Ass Madonna Mess): High School Musical starlet Vanessa Hudgens has been slammed for her tinsel-pubed Naked Virgin of Guadalupe on the December front cover of iconic glamor magazine LA FagHagSlagMag's Mexican edition. The publi...
Read full storyWhat Love means to 4 - 8-year-olds
Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes. A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4- to 8-year-olds, 'What does love mean?' The answers they got were broader...
Read full storyBoy George is Fat and Guilty Say Smug Jury!
Fat Boy George O'Dowd, was found guilty by a group of people, that enjoy seeing celebrities brought to their knees. The 1980's pop sensation was found guilty of being fat, bald, and looking "very ordinary". He was also found guilty of the lesser c...
Read full storyPutin caught shagging ex-Olympic gymnast Svetlana Khorkina
Moscow - (Bolshevik Ass Mess): Russian Prime Monster Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin has been caught shagging former Olympic 'artistic' gymnast Svetlana Vasilievna Khorkina, now a Deputy in the Russian State Duma. Private detectives acting for Mrs Putin...
Read full storyHeather Mills to be in UK Celebrity Big Brother January 2009
Heather Mills has jumped at the chance to be in Celebrity Big Brother after her plea for a private loo was accepted. Mills agreed to star in the reality TV show after reaching an agreement with bosses about having her own bathroom. The Sun repo...
Read full storyEmma Watson thrilled with Daniel Radcliffe's stiffy
An ecstatic Emma Watson held a press conference today to tell the world of her excitement at seeing and holding fellow Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe's stiffy. The jubilant starlet was in high spirits as she explained the occurrence, which hap...
Read full storyFather Christmas arrested
Father Christmas was arrested yesterday when it was discovered that his "Naughty and Nice" list contravened the UK Data Protection Act. "After a raid on his home," said Detective Inspector Phil Inne, "we discovered on his computer a large list of...
Read full storySpring Fashion: Painted Camel toes
Paris, France: In a controversial and visually alarming display, Foofi, the designer enfant terrible, has introduced literally painted gentilia and buttocks as his Spring fashion line. Foofi's models paraded the run way with assorted garments coveri...
Read full storyUK Economy Booms Following VAT Rate Decrease
Wereinthemoney, England - The Labour government's plan to reduce the Value Added Tax (VAT) on goods and services from 17.5% to 15% took effect today with resounding results for the economy. The move to stimulate consumer spending and head off the imp...
Read full storyBush Shoe Tosser Signed By The Seattle Mariners
SEATTLE, Washington - The Seattle Mariners who in 2008, had the worst record in the American League (61-101) have just signed Muntazer al-Zaidi to a three year, $3 million pitching contract. Al-Zaidi is the Iraqi journalist who threw two shoes at...
Read full storyAmy Winehouse In St Lucia 'Horse With Tits' Drama
Nutcase Amy Winehouse stunned tourists and locals alike by performing an outrageous topless dance on holiday in St Lucia. The tattooed Rehab singer bared her breasts for a bizarre hotel balcony boogie, before appearing on the beach to splash abou...
Read full storyShaun Mercer Is A F*cking Cocksucker, Say 'Mates'
Shaun Mercer, the Liverpool teenage gang member of the Croxteth Crew, found guilty of murdering 11-year-old Rhys Jones in the city in 2007, is a f*cking cocksucker, according to fellow gang members. Mercer, ironically of Good Shepherd Close, was c...
Read full storyJennifer Aniston: I Want To Be Brad & Angelina's Babysitter
LAS VEGAS, Nevada - Jennifer Aniston has revealed, in an exclusive interview, with ET's Mary Hart that she has decided to quit being a famous movie and television star and dedicate herself to being Brad and Angelina's full time babysitter. Jennifer, looking erotically sexy in a see-thru black teddy from Victoria's Secret talked candidly with Mary while on the set of her latest motion picture,...
Read full storyWorld famous astrologer says "Stars foretell that Pakistan territory will end up being divided within 3 months because of its own calumnies"
LONDON - Famous astrologer Crystal Ballz says "things do not look good for Pakistan". Ms. Ballz is well-known for her famous predictions including the election of Barck Obama, the breakup of Madonna and Guy Ritchie and the birth of the Brangelina tw...
Read full storySarah Palin & Nigella Launch Alaskan Fur Fashion Line
Bear Trap, Alaska - America and Britain's two most powerful female media figures have teamed up to launch an exclusive range of luxury furs. Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin often touted her hunting abilities during her campaign for the American Vice-...
Read full storySteamy Centerfold Calendar, "Sexy Sirens of the GOP" Will Top All Holiday Wishlists
Wahington DC- Still not sure what to get your husband for Christmas? How about a calender featuring a few of the hottest, sexiest ladies...of the Republican Party! The steamy and controversial 2009 calender, "Sexy Sirens of the GOP" will be on sto...
Read full storyBarack Obama Finds Real Birth Certificate
Kenya? Hawaii? Indonesia? The truth has finally been revealed as President Elect Barack Obama has found another birth certificate (and this one does not have any white-out on it). A previous, obviously altered birth certificate that showed one ho...
Read full storyJoe Biden Surfaces: Been Missing Since Nov. 4. Staffers Say Lobotomy Appears to have Cleared His Mind!
Walter Reed Army Hospital/ Medical Journal - Vice President Elect Joe Biden suddenly resurfaced today after having "gone missing" since the night of the Presidential election over a month ago. Mysteriously, no one noticed he had been missing! A...
Read full storyNigella's Kids are Fed Up
It was revealed last night that the children of celebrity TV chef Nigella Lawson are fed up with their mother's cooking. Speaking on a rare interview on CBBC, Cosima Lawson (14) and Bruno (12) complained that life in the Lawson household was not like...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens Photographed Trying to Sell her Ass Down a Back Alley
High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens was photographed by a paparazzo attempting to sell her ass to a burly Latino male in an alleyway beside a seedy Los Angeles donut shop. The actress was then overheard asking the man if he was interested in...
Read full storyKoo Stark $5 million life story admits she and Prince Charles are Kate Middleton's real parents
Sandringham, Norfolk - (House of Windsor Bollox Mess): A gut-wrenching dread is enveloping the Sandringham estate this weekend ahead of the Yuletide gathering of Puppet Monarchy impostors eagerly awaiting to get their hoary snouts into the annual squ...
Read full storyAnn Coulter Movie: 'Diary of a Meth-Addicted, Pre-Op Transexual' to Begin Production
Hollywood, CA- It's official: vitrol-spewing, hate-filled harpy Ann Coulter's biography, Diary of a Meth-Addicted, Pre-Op Transexual will be made into a movie with the same name. The journals were written by Coulter from the ages of twelve to thir...
Read full storySanta tops CIA most wanted list
In a remarkable turn of events, the CIA (Criminally Insane Americans) have announced that Father Christmas is the CIA's 'Most Wanted'. Many notaries have topped this list in the past, most recently Osama Bin Laden of Al Qaeda, and Adolf Hitler. Bu...
Read full storyObama To Legalize Marijuana
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - President-elect Barack Obama announced on Thursday that his administration will quickly legalize marijuana. "I am preparing to end the costly and pointless federal raids on marijuana users," said Obama between drags from...
Read full storyBritney Spears Discovered To Be Strange Anagram
Britney Spears, the faded princess of pop, is back in the limelight tonight, after it was discovered the singer's name is, in fact, a strange anagram of Presbyterians. If you think that's strange though, consider: Presbyterianism - an anagram of I...
Read full storyStoning the Devil at Hajj Turns Chaotic as Devil Throws Stones Back at Pilgrims
Mecca, Saudi Arabia - Three million pilgrims at the 2008 Hajj were stunned when the devil threw stones back at them. The stoning of the devil is one of a series of rituals during the annual pilgrimage to Mecca that every able-bodied Muslim is expecte...
Read full storyCowboys to Unveil World's Largest LCD Monitor
Dallas Cowboys GM, President, and Owner Jerry Jones announced today that he will unveil the world's largest LCD monitor on Saturday, January 3, 2009, in the soon-to-be- retired Texas Stadium. Spanning 130 yards long and 30 yards high, this dual-sided...
Read full storyCockney Rhyming Slang Mourns Loss Of Singer Eartha Kitt
Exponents of Cockney Rhyming Slang, the noble art practised by those born within the sound of Bow Bells at St Mary-le-Bow in London, were in mourning today, after it was announced that Eartha Kitt, the object of one of the language's most-used expres...
Read full storyStudy Links Global Warming to Right-wing Media Hot Air Emissions
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Earlier this week, the Environmental Protection Agency released the highly anticipated results of a year-long study, confirming a long suspected link between right-wing media blowhards and current global warming trends. Though th...
Read full storyJade Goody forum causes Internet to crash
The Internet was shut down for an incredible 7 hours earlier this month following Jade Goody's announcement that she was going ahead with her cancer treatment during the panto season. Engineers working frantically to discover the cause, found tha...
Read full storyPrepubescent 'Satanic Slag' album pic behind Scorpions online rumpus
London - (Lurid Ass Mess): Online disinformation agency Sickiepaedia has been banned in the UK after complaints about a picture of a prepubescent 'Satanic Slag' promoting German band The Scorpions's 1976 Virgin Killer album. The cover features a s...
Read full storyIn Stunning Reversal, Springsteen to Donate Super Bowl Earnings to Bush Memorial
Singer/songwriter Bruce Springsteen, who has a long history of supporting far left, un-American, unpatriotic, and anti-Bush activities, shocked friend and foe alike yesterday by announcing he would donate the money he will be paid to perform at half-...
Read full storyLapland Park Scam a Huge Rip-off
A newly-opened 'Winter Wonderland' theme park has been described as a 'joke' and a 'scam' by thousands of angry visitors. Many people have demanded a refund of the £25 they paid to enter the Smegmadale Forest Lapland Leisure Park on the Hampshire...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan's Lesbian Eatery
MALIBU BEACH, California - Actress Lindsay Lohan and her girlfriend, Samantha Ronson will be opening a new restaurant in Malibu Beach. The restaurant which is scheduled to open on January 13, 2009, is called, 'Lindsay Lohan's Lesbian Eatery.' Lindsay was interviewed by CBS's Katie Couric. "So tell me Lindsay why did you decide to open up a restaurant?" Lindsay replied, "Well Katie I have al...
Read full storyOrders Pour In For Bush Attack Shoes
WASHINGTON (FMLive Wire) -- The shoe hurled at President George W. Bush has sent sales soaring for the Turkish shoe maker as orders pour in from Iraq, the USA, Congress, Iran, Europe and other developing and developed nations. The gray-brown, th...
Read full storyZac Efron breaks his nose in freak basketball accident
Zac Efron has broken his nose in five places whilst playing basketball in a public park. Plastic surgeons were called to the scene immediately, but a spokesperson has announced that Efron "may never be attractive again." The world's markets were q...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus reveals her family tree
Miley Cyrus, the current rising yet falling star, reveals her family tree about her and her family. The reveals all in an interview with Ok. She takes out a rolled out A2 piece of paper with her family treee. As the interview looked at the family tree, Miley talks about where she comes into the family. "The truth is, Billy Ray Cyrus isn't my real dad. My real dad is actually my uncle. My mo...
Read full storyMassive dreidel-shaped Hannukah UFO appears over Madoff's Lipstick Building
New York - (Ponzi Ponce Mess): "At first we thought it was giant inflatable dreidel," neighbors of Ponzi-scam trickster Bernard Madhoff said today following reports of an ominous Hannukah UFO seen hovering over the disgraced trader's Lipstick Buildin...
Read full storyStar Jones Regaining Weight But In Different Places
Friends say that Star Jones has packed on 35 more pounds - and sources say she's absolutely terrified the weight gain will drive away the man she hopes will change her life forever! Or, perhaps someone else who will change the rest of her life forev...
Read full storySecond Life Inflationary Nightmare
Bad news for home owners in the virtual world of second life as the virtual terrorists have been at it again. The Linden Dollar (L$) is the currency for this pretend world which people are paid for doing jobs and selling items that they have made.
Read full storyWorld's Oldest Web Page Discovered
Philadelphia PA-- Excited scholars at the University of Pencilvainia uncovered what may be the oldest web page ever written. The web page was on a tiny computer screen, located in Fish Hall. The dusty computer with flashing green cathodes was still...
Read full storyEastEnders Heather The Subject Of Court Action By George Michael After Crucifying 'Last Christmas' During Tonight's Episode
Heather Trott, the horrible, fat EastEnders slug, tonight became the subject of what could be a lengthy court battle with popstar George Michael, after she crucified his Wham song 'Last Christmas' in this evening's episode. Heather 'sang' the son...
Read full storyBrains, Balls and Intelligence
Kings Bollocks College, London, England - A recent research study has found a link between intelligence and sperm quality in men. Analysing data from American soldiers who took IQ tests and gave sperm sample in 1985, biologists in London have...
Read full storySteven Gerrard Latest: Liverpool Fans Say They Will Do Gerrard's 'Prison Time' For Him
There was good news for Steven Gerrard today, when hundreds of Liverpool's staunchest supporters made a tremendous gesture towards the Anfield club and their captain when they said they would happily go to pison and serve time for him so that he coul...
Read full storyNORAD Tracking Santa Threat
COLORADO SPRINGS (FMLiveWire) - Who says the Santa Claus communist threat doesn't exist? The military personnel here at NORAD charged with being the eyes in the sky are believers and are acting like the threat is very real. The North American...
Read full storyBristol Palin's mother in law-to-be busted for five kilos of Alaskan Matanuska Thunderf**k
Wasilla, Alaska - (High and Dry Mess): Just days away from becoming a grandma to Governor Sarah Palin's eldest daughter's baby Wasilla resident Sherry L Johnston was busted this morning for growing 'up to five kilos' of the notorious Alaskan Matanusk...
Read full storyJeff Foxworthy to Translate Bible into 'Redneck'
Atlanta, GA- American comedian Jeff Foxworthy of 'You might be a redneck' fame is a very busy man. In addition to hosting top rated prime time game show, 'Are you Smarter that a 5th Grader?'; creating and headlining the wildly successful Blue Collar...
Read full storyDavid Bowie Is New Doctor Who
The BBC has tonight revealed that aging crooner, David Bowie, is to be the new Doctor Who, succeeding Scottish actor David Tennant, who is leaving the show to concentrate on his first love, Porn Films. Bowie, pronounced BOH-EE (with the BOH as in...
Read full storySex Change Weekends Are Here
Getting in touch with your feminine side could be a weekend thing with news that scientists at the Edinburgh Institute for the Sexually Confused have created a drug which allows temporary sex-changes. The drug works by suppressing the body's nat...
Read full storyMost Idiotic Nuisance 999 Calls of 2008 Revealed
A Smegmadale Jewish priest, Rabbi Sheldon Scrunt, dialled 999 when staff at Manchester Airport's W H Smuts bookstore would not allow him to use the toilet, then subsequently shit kittens when the plods turned up and arrested him for making a nuisance...
Read full storyShoes Thrown at Bush in Baghdad
Handbagdad, Iraq - US President George W Bush declared both his presidency and his wardrobe completed today when an Iraqi journalist hurled shoes at him during a press conference on his farewell visit to the war-torn country. Ducking behind the po...
Read full storySell your soul and get 7 wishes completely free!
HELL - If you thought that the global economic crisis was only affecting you, you were wrong. It seems even Lucifer, the devil himself is experiencing some problems of his own. Following the closure of retail giant Woolworths, 'Le Diablo' express...
Read full storyScotus Demands Death Certificate: Did Obama Gramma Really Die in Hawaii?
02 Dec 08, HONOLULU, HI, USNA-- Barack Hussein Obama, Acting President Elect Presumptive, ignored a deadline of yesterday to release his grandmother's death certificate, as demanded by Scotus, the nine-headed black beast of Washington. Over 20 co...
Read full storyRussell Brand Judges And Wins Stinking Vagina Competition
The lovely looking and scented, Mr Brand has amazed the world by being a judge on the world's most offensive vagina and walking off with the title himself. Mr Brand who has slept with over 5000 women (all conscious) and 200 vacuum cleaners of var...
Read full storyRussell Brand Concert Tickets May Have To Be Sprayed!
Sleazy Sex-Loser Brand, is so sullied from his lurid sex life, his concert tickets may have to be sprayed with some form of liquid penicillin, say concerned malcontents. While scientists have dispelled the myth, 'looking Russell Brand directly in...
Read full storyBoy Glues Pictures of Vanessa Hudgens to his Hand. Says it's the best Sex he's Never had.
14-year old Billy Bummer from Asshole, Mississippi says he has glued a picture he tore from a teeny magazine of High School Musical hotty Vanessa Hudgens to his hand and uses it as "inspiration" for marathon wanking sessions behind the bike shed at h...
Read full storyAnn Coulter To Donate Adam's Apple To Science
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Hoping to support Michael Behe's "piercing cry of intelligent design" with actual genetic evidence, Ann Coulter has vowed to donate her Adam's apple to science. Citing a "keen interest in real science," she pledged the genetic mat...
Read full storyAnimal rights activists appalled at Nature's violence
LOS ANGELES - Last week, the militant animal rights organization BAMBI masterminded a spectacular "bust-out" of hundreds of zoo animals from the Yorba Loma Zoo, where they had been kept captive for many years. The bust-out reinforced the strength of...
Read full storyLarge Hadron Collider now a sex symbol
The Large Hadron Collider, located in Switzerland, has achieved a notoriety it would never have been previously dreamed possible: as a sex symbol. Hundreds of females who have visited the web site have emailed the CERN corporation who manage the...
Read full storyPam Anderson Wardrobe Malfunction Bit Over The Top!
The top-heavy Baywatch babe was taping a segment for the Osbournes Reloaded Show when during a skit her two famous assets came spilling over the the top of her extremely skimpy dress. "The Osbournes are blindfolded themselves and ask the guest que...
Read full storySports Logo Caskets Now Available
One company is now catering to the many sports fans by manufacturing signature caskets with their favorite sports team's logo on the side. Eternal Image of Illinois, which has a licensing agreement with Major League Baseball, recently has delive...
Read full storyObama Buys Hawaii Ocean Front Estate: Camp Hussein to Replace Camp David as Presidential Retreat!
Hawaii/ Real Estate News - It was announced today that President Elect Barack Hussein Obama II had purchased a $15M ocean front estate that had been on the market for 5 years in a flagging real estate market. Aides say Obama "wanted a change" from th...
Read full storySanta Claus jailed for discrimination against Jews , but cleared of War Crimes
The Hague, Belgium: One of the centuries biggest and most sensational political trails came to a conclusion Tuesday when North Pole resident Santa Claus was found guilty of discrimination against people of the Jewish religion. It had been allege...
Read full storyMichael Jackson to auction glitter glove, jacket, Tito
After years of rumors regarding the king of pop's worsening financial situation, Michael Jackson has reportedly agreed to auction some of his most prized possessions. Among them: a famed glove decorated with shiny sequins, a jacked worn during the fi...
Read full storyDroylsden to be thrown out of the FA Cup for ineptitude
Masters of the inept, Conference North outfit Droylsden FC are to be thrown out of the FA Cup despite their recent heroics for fielding an ineligible player. Droylsden were in the third round of the prestigious cup and set to play Chesterfield whe...
Read full storySarah Palin to Star as Roxie in New Chicago Musical
Windy City, Illinois - Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's star-power has landed her the leading role in a new production of the hit musical Chicago. The most Googled person in the universe is to star in a remake of the gangster musical that will be lo...
Read full storyBarry Manilow meltdown means O2 arena concerts cancelled after first night
Borey Manilow's series of concerts at London's White Elephant Arena have been cancelled after only one night, because on his opening night, the star started to melt under the lights. The promoter of the show, Con Bookingfee, explained that as Barr...
Read full storyOriginal Cast of Hair to Perform in the Nude
Audience after audience have left the Broadway revival of Hair disappointed that today's youthful actors just cannot relate to that special something that sixty somethings recall if they can even remember the Sixties. Producers of the show in a last...
Read full storyIllini Gov Blagojevich Charged with Importing and Wearing Endangered Monkey Wigs
Among the charges brought against Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, the FBI accused him of illegal importation of endangered monkey hair wigs. The Governor unfortunately has been photographed wearing just such big furry hairpieces theroughout his tw...
Read full storySteven Gerrard Nicked Over Night Club Assault Shennanighans
Liverpool FC Captain Steven Gerrard was reportedly arrested last night following allegations of assault in a Southport nightclub. Rumours that he was out drinking with fellow Liverpudlian Joey Barton have yet to be confirmed. The only informati...
Read full storyBritain's Oldest Human Brain Discovered
London, England - Scientists at York University have discovered what appears to be the oldest human brain in Britain. The brain was discovered in a five year old child during routine examinations at her nursery school in Northern England. Scie...
Read full storyThe Paris Hilton - Katie Couric Blonde Catfight
BEVERLY HILLS, California - Paris Hilton, the left coast personality who is famous for being infamous has just finished taping an exclusive one-on-one interview with Katie Couric. The interview will be telecast on Christmas Eve. In the exclusive interview Paris reveals that she desperately wants to fill Hillary Clinton's New York senate seat. When Katie asked her why, Paris replied, "Becaus...
Read full storyWealthy Lose Billions As Poor Celebrate
Top world financial groups on Monday revealed massive potential losses from an alleged scam run by Wall Street trader Bernard Madoff, admitting they were fooled by a classic pyramid investment fraud. British, French, Japanese and Spanish banks an...
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