The lovely looking and scented, Mr Brand has amazed the world by being a judge on the world's most offensive vagina and walking off with the title himself.
Mr Brand who has slept with over 5000 women (all conscious) and 200 vacuum cleaners of various suction power, is said to be delighted with winning the great malodorous fanny prize.
Mr Brand initially didn't want to take part in the task, as he had recently split up with ten of his girlfriends in the past day. However he pulled himself together and refrained from pissing on things, playing with his pecker and shoving things in and up his hole, to bravely judge the competition.
The great big minge man said "I have seen my fair share of vaginas in my life and possibly everyone else's share as well. So I was a bit of an expert. After sniffing 20,000 minges, it was only fair the prize went to the smelliest, hairiest, unwashed and most physically repulsive c$%t of all and.......... that was me".
He was crowned by fellow Judge Amy Winehouse ( who I am only including because Buckwheat's Butt included her in the initial story)
Amy Wine and BeerHouse added " Russell is indeed a stinkin' minge of a man. He makes me look as clean as a young Doris Day"
Fellow contestant Doris Prossie - Streetwalker said " I was a bit disappointed, because I am currently suffering from vaginal necrosis, syphilis, gonorrhoea, chlamydia, rampant thrush and the herpes. So I thought I would win, but once I knew Russell was entering himself, I knew he would beat me, as the smelliest c$£t in the world. He is a shining example to all the children. If my children weren't in correctional facilities or abortions, I would love them to be like him".
