Shaun Mercer Is A F*cking Cocksucker, Say 'Mates'

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

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What the fuck has happened to kids these days?

Shaun Mercer, the Liverpool teenage gang member of the Croxteth Crew, found guilty of murdering 11-year-old Rhys Jones in the city in 2007, is a f*cking cocksucker, according to fellow gang members.

Mercer, ironically of Good Shepherd Close, was convicted by the jury after almost four days of deliberations.

Fellow gang members James Yates, 20, Nathan Quinn, 18, Gary Kays, 26, and Melvin Coy, 25, all say Mercer sucked their cocks as well as that of Boy M, 16, who cannot be named for legal reasons.

Defendant Boy K, who can now be named as Dean Kelly, 17, of Sword Walk, Croxteth, after judge Mr Justice Irwin lifted reporting restrictions, had also had his cock sucked by Mercer, but also, crucially, had sucked cocks of other gang members, and had played with their balls.

During the seven-week trial, the court heard how Mercer was a leading member of the Croxteth Crew gang, which terrorised the local community and was involved in a long-running and bloody feud with the Strand Gang, based on the neighbouring Norris Green estate.

The jury was also told he had an "intense hatred" of Strand Gang member Wayne Brady.

Mercer went to shoot Brady, 19, when he was told by Coy and Kays that he had been seen cycling near the Fir Tree Pub, which is on Croxteth Crew territory (laughs).

Dressed in a black hoodie and tracksuit, Mercer armed himself with Yates's Smith and Wesson .455 revolver and cycled to the pub where he took up position on a grass verge alongside the car park.

Holding the gun with both hands, he fired three shots at Brady's friends.

Rhys, distracted by the sound of the first bullet, turned toward the gunman and was struck in the neck by the second bullet. - source: BBC

Mercer's subsequent moves are unknown, but police are fairly certain that he cycled around looking for some cocks to suck.

Fucking cocksucker.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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