Irishman less than pleased with Christmas gift - more gab

County Mayo, Ireland: Father of four, Damian McManus, woke early Christmas morning to view the delight on the faces of his young children when they saw that Santa Claus had paid them a visit during the night, but was less than delighted with the gif...

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Love Thy Neighbour? Non PC Sit-Com Set For Dramatic Revival?

Funny story: Love Thy Neighbour? Non PC Sit-Com Set For Dramatic Revival?

London, The Burglar's Bar, Pint Number Nine - A TV insider this evening confided to this reporter over a few beverages that racist 70's Brit-Sit-Com 'Love Thy Neighbour' is to be remade. The much maligned 70's show featured Jack Smethurst and Kate...

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UK's Gerard McGarry Inherits Money From Unknown German!

Funny story: UK's Gerard McGarry Inherits Money From Unknown German!

Dr Gerard McGarry, owner of the world's smallest balls, recently received an email from a man called George Mensah, the Head of Corporate Affairs Department with a reputable bank in Ghana. Mr Mensah said "On June 5th, 2000, a German business ty...

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Soccer Stadium Design Is All B*llocks - Michelle 'Nutjobby' Platini Whines.

Funny story: Soccer Stadium Design Is All B*llocks - Michelle 'Nutjobby' Platini Whines.

In an astonishingly embarrasing outburst yesterday in Geneva, Michelle 'Loopy As A Stunt Pilot' Platini claimed to a UEFA policy group that stadium design was deeply flawed. Platini suggested that in every case, stadium roofs were covering the wro...

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Oprah A Blimp Again!

Funny story: Oprah A Blimp Again!

Chicago - An embarrassed Oprah Winfrey says she's "fallen off the wagon and broke three wheel spokes" of healthy living and has ballooned to 200 pounds. In January's "O" magazine, (which has been changed to "The Big O") Winfrey, 54, details her...

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Watchdog Clears Jeremy Clarkson of Lorry Driver Joke

Funny story: Watchdog Clears Jeremy Clarkson of Lorry Driver Joke

Media watchdog, Bollocom, cleared Jeremy Clarkson of his terrible joke telling, the big, ugly, tofty jester stated all lorry drivers were serial killers! A regulator at Bollocom, Catherine Martinique said " We appreciate people might have taken of...

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One Failed Swoop

Funny story: One Failed Swoop

I think she likes me. You know what? Scratch that. It just can't be possible. Hell, with women, it's not even possible to tell if she likes you or would rather push you into oncoming traffic. The reality is, they usually just want a free Vodka-Cran. I suspect women even get a rush out of spinning a poor little guy like me into total, utter, and hopeless confusion over whether she recognizes my...

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Gerard McGarry Wins Widescreen Television, In A Prize Draw He Never Entered!

Funny story: Gerard McGarry Wins Widescreen Television, In A Prize Draw He Never Entered!

Dr Gerard McGarry, the owner of the world' smallest balls, has won a 60 inch television in a internet prize draw. Dr McGarry said " When I saw the email, I almost stopped choking my wife. It said my prize was ready to be shipped by Fedex "TODAY!".

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Village Idiots Demand Socialized Medicine, Free Surgery

Funny story: Village Idiots Demand Socialized Medicine, Free Surgery

Randy Andy, the Village Idiot of Tanyard, Ohio and President-elect of The United Union of Village Idiots pronounces the last word for the Idiots with contempt. "Who's the idiot here? Well, I am. And I say we are for the socialized services uh DISEASES!!! No...Medicine. "Does anybody care that our brains hurt? With specialized diseases we'd get brain transplants to take the place of these..

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God to Protestants - "You are so wide of the mark"

Funny story: God to Protestants - "You are so wide of the mark"

Heaven: In a rare interview with The Spoof, God has revealed that people who follow the Protestant Christian tradition are "so far of the mark it's really not funny anymore". Speaking by Burning Bush, God revealed that he had decided to set the re...

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Catholics better then Protestants, says Pope

Funny story: Catholics better then Protestants, says Pope

Pope Benedict XVI has issued a statement saying that Catholics are much better than Protestants. The former Nazi-youth pontiff went on to say that Protestants have rubbish masses and crappy-looking churches. "It's disgraceful", said one protestant...

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Vanessa Hudgens Photographed Trying to Sell her Ass Down a Back Alley

Funny story: Vanessa Hudgens Photographed Trying to Sell her Ass Down a Back Alley

High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens was photographed by a paparazzo attempting to sell her ass to a burly Latino male in an alleyway beside a seedy Los Angeles donut shop. The actress was then overheard asking the man if he was interested in...

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Santa Claus jailed for discrimination against Jews , but cleared of War Crimes

Funny story: Santa Claus jailed for discrimination against Jews , but cleared of War Crimes

The Hague, Belgium: One of the centuries biggest and most sensational political trails came to a conclusion Tuesday when North Pole resident Santa Claus was found guilty of discrimination against people of the Jewish religion. It had been allege...

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Cowboys Report: Hurricane Jerry Hits Dallas

Funny story: Cowboys Report: Hurricane Jerry Hits Dallas

DALLAS, Texas - A lot of folks in Texas are still reeling from the September aftermath of Hurricane Ike. And now all of a sudden Hurricane Jerry (Jones), a category 5 hurricane, has mercilessly slammed into Dallas. Dallas Cowboys' owner Jerry Jone...

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Millions Of Scrabble Players Attend Haj

Funny story: Millions Of Scrabble Players Attend Haj

Millions of devout Scrabble players have been descending on the Saudi Arabian city of Qaid, to take part in that holiest of Scrabble activities, the haj. Some were arriving on zhos, specially imported from the Himalayas to transport them in their sea...

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Chancellor predicts negative interest rate in the New Year

Funny story: Chancellor predicts negative interest rate in the New Year

In a continued effort to stimulate the economy, the Chancer of the Exchequer has revealed that interest rates will more than likely become negative in the New Year. Speaking at the Annual Wheel Tappers and Shunters Club AGM, held in a Nissan hut a...

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Obama To Legalize Marijuana

Funny story: Obama To Legalize Marijuana

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - President-elect Barack Obama announced on Thursday that his administration will quickly legalize marijuana. "I am preparing to end the costly and pointless federal raids on marijuana users," said Obama between drags from...

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Max Plonk Institute finances soar after Chinese brothel ad

Funny story: Max Plonk Institute finances soar after Chinese brothel ad

Leipzig - (Who-Flung-Dung? Mess): Germany's fabled Max Plonk Institute of Science has been inundated with punters asking for the services of a Chinese brothel. The organization's finance had been in precarious overdraft until an ingenious brainwav...

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Stoning the Devil at Hajj Turns Chaotic as Devil Throws Stones Back at Pilgrims

Funny story: Stoning the Devil at Hajj Turns Chaotic as Devil Throws Stones Back at Pilgrims

Mecca, Saudi Arabia - Three million pilgrims at the 2008 Hajj were stunned when the devil threw stones back at them. The stoning of the devil is one of a series of rituals during the annual pilgrimage to Mecca that every able-bodied Muslim is expecte...

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Oil Industry to Bailout Auto Industry

Funny story: Oil Industry to Bailout Auto Industry

Dallas TX: A representative of the "Big Three Automakers," Mr. Willie Sutton departed the ongoing Congressional Hill bailout hearings to fly (commercial air) to Dallas Texas. He attended a meeting with the Board of Directors of the American Petroleum...

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Jeremy Clarkson Ordered To Hand Out Back Copies Of Viz To Public

Funny story: Jeremy Clarkson Ordered To Hand Out Back Copies Of Viz To Public

Over-paid, unfunny, acromegaly sufferer, Jeremy Clarkson, has been ordered by a court, to hand out back copies of Viz. Clarkson who is innately unfunny, has trawled through the smutty comic over the past twenty years, repeating the jokes in a mock...

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The New Reality TV Show: Celebrity Prison

Funny story: The New Reality TV Show: Celebrity Prison

BUFFALO, New York - The Fox Network has just announced plans for a new reality show called, 'Celebrity Prison.' Celebrity prisoners from prisons throughout America, Canada, and England will all be flown to Buffalo, New York where they will be hou...

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First Exerpt From 'Found' Dickens Christmas Carol

Funny story: First Exerpt From 'Found' Dickens Christmas Carol

I have labored on this Ghastly little book, to lower the intellectual quota of literature, which shall not put my readers out of humor with themselves, with each other, with the season, or with me. May it haunt their collective consciousness unpleasantly, and no one asks for payment, 5* or otherwise. Their faithful Friend and Servant, C. D. December, 2008. Marley was long dead: to be...

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Man City to save the British economy?

Funny story: Man City to save the British economy?

Manchester City is, as everyone now knows, a very rich club. Few realise the vast extent of their wealth however. It is rumoured that they have the resources to buy Belgium! With Britain sinking inexorably into a deepening depression it falls upon...

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Letter to my Bank

Funny story: Letter to my Bank

Dear Sirs, With regard to what seems to be happening on an international scale with banks at the moment, I was wondering if you could enlighten me in the following scenario: If one of my checks is returned marked "insufficient funds," how will I know whether that refers to me or to you? Yours Sincerely Mr I. Seine...

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Obama to appear in Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special

Funny story: Obama to appear in Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special

Christmas, a time for giving, eating plenty of food, family traditions and a poor line up of Only Fools and Horses repeats. "Not this year" claims BBC spokesperson for scheduling. "2008 is going to be a landmark year in Christmas television, as we ar...

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Yet Another Clarkson Faux Pas Cleared by Regulator

Funny story: Yet Another Clarkson Faux Pas Cleared by Regulator

A typical bad taste joke made by career clot / overpaid Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson concerning lorry drivers murdering prostitutes wasn't really very funny, TV regulator Comoffit has ruled. The media regulator received 3,398,000 complaints...

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Best Bottom - surprise winner

Funny story: Best Bottom - surprise winner

Lovers of the bottom gathered in France yesterday for the Le Monde Derrier finals. This annual contest has grown in size in recent years after contestants from the USA signed up. Last year's winner, Melanie Amine, from Brazil has gone on to model...

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Santa banned from driving

Funny story: Santa banned from driving

Pompous police officers from County Cork have announced that St Nicolas will not be allowed to drive his sleigh around Ireland this Christmas and are urging forces across the world to take an equally draconian stance. "It's the sherry," said Hugh...

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Irish Pork is Pig Meat

Funny story: Irish Pork is Pig Meat

DUBLIN, Idaho - Sausage meat that ended up in animal feed could force farmers to destroy 10 pigs or goats, safety officials said Tomorrow as the Dublin Union advised that Indian restaurants did not need to ban Irish chicken. The Bus Safety Authori...

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Deli Lama's Scratchy Pants

Funny story: Deli Lama's Scratchy Pants

WICKFORD, ESSEX - The Deli Lama says underwear in Teleban makes his testicles itch and has "not improved at all" since the 1954 Games in Canada. The Teleban spiritual song leader says that since being re-born earlier this year in Tokyo "the Chines...

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Animal rights activists appalled at Nature's violence

Funny story: Animal rights activists appalled at Nature's violence

LOS ANGELES - Last week, the militant animal rights organization BAMBI masterminded a spectacular "bust-out" of hundreds of zoo animals from the Yorba Loma Zoo, where they had been kept captive for many years. The bust-out reinforced the strength of...

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Suspicious Powder Found in Letters

Funny story: Suspicious Powder Found in Letters

ICELAND - Suspicious letters containing a white substance addressed to local straight men were intercepted in at least six places on Monday, but tests indicated the white stuff in five of them was dried sperm. The letters were reported in Alaska,...

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U.S. Government to Bailout Big Oil

Funny story: U.S. Government to Bailout Big Oil

Crawford / Texas: (December 9, 2008) - President George W. Bush, amid a flurry of end-term pardons for white-collar criminals, has also endorsed a bailout for the Big Oil companies. In light of the recent drop in petroleum prices, the U.S. Departm...

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Satan to Read Paradise Lost on Radio 4

Funny story: Satan to Read Paradise Lost on Radio 4

On the 400th anniversary of the birth of one of England's greatest poets, readings and research have the Isle reeling before the blind bard, John Milton. Modern dat Puritans have been trying to reclaim him as one of their own while scholars claim Mil...

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Congress Sends Car Bomb to Bush

Funny story: Congress Sends Car Bomb to Bush

Car bombs have been exploding across the globe for years now as terrorists engage conventional police forces and military opponents. They burst into flames in marketplaces, train stations and even airports and the casualty rates are high and the scen...

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Paris Hilton possible replacement for Mugabe in Zimbabwe

Funny story: Paris Hilton possible replacement for Mugabe in Zimbabwe

In breaking news, Paris Hilton has put up her hand (God knows where that's been) for the post of President of Zimbabwe. With the imminent demise of Robert Mugabe in the country's acme position, Madame Hilton believes that she is best placed to serve...

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Standford University to rename mascot Andsons

Funny story: Standford University to rename mascot Andsons

Standford University's mascot has been known as the Cardinal since the school's inception in 1885. Many, especially on the east coast, mistake the mascot for a bird where it is actually the color-cardinal red. However, the university wants a mascot t...

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Rove Joins Gitmo Terrorists in Guilty Plea on behalf of Bush-Cheney

Funny story: Rove Joins Gitmo Terrorists in Guilty Plea on behalf of Bush-Cheney

Terrorist masterminds, Al-Qaida janitors and Afghani horse addicts have all begun to plead guilty in the torture chambers of Gitmo. The clever strategem has thrown the US military tribunals into utter chaos. Leftenant Lefty Tennant expressed frustrat...

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Mary, Joseph and a Child Will Appear in Bethlehem to Help Boost US Economy: Obama

Funny story: Mary, Joseph and a Child Will Appear in Bethlehem to Help Boost US Economy: Obama

Barack Obama has made some pretty utopian promises to the American people but his latest plan to bail out the economy tops them all. President elect Obama told the nation on Youtube that he has a great big surprise for them this Christmas morning...

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Sarah Palin Will Enjoy Christmas Goose

Funny story: Sarah Palin Will Enjoy Christmas Goose

Back in Wasilla, Alaska for the holidays the Palin clan is getting ready to celebrate the birth of their Savior and Lord, Santa Claus. They have set up the family creche with Frosty, Crystal and Rudolf in his manger. The house has so many lights...

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Mormon Vampires to Attend Hogswart

Funny story: Mormon Vampires to Attend Hogswart

In the meeting of the poorly written best sellers, the fantasy moms who have penned their way to big bucks and fame will collaborate on No Blood, No Sex...Almost All the Way at Hogswarts. The plot weaving mommas couldn't believe how much they had in...

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Oregon Woman Pretty Sure That Writing Is Her Talent After Watching Writing Themed TV Series

Funny story: Oregon Woman Pretty Sure That Writing Is Her Talent After Watching Writing Themed TV Series

Eugene, OR: A hangover and the discovery of a new favorite TV series proved to be the inspiration behind Eugene woman Penny Rodsinski's new found vocation. After watching a rerun of a TV show, based around the life of a barely functioning, sex addicted fiction writer and the sexual scrapes he gets himself into, Rodsinski felt suitably inspired to put pen to paper herself, and fulfill her long-te...

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Bill & Hillary: A Love Limerick

Funny story: Bill & Hillary: A Love Limerick

A Limerick About Bill & Hillary A Love Limerick There was a statesman named Bill Whose wife would, down his back, cause such a chill "I'll just tell the Prez it'd be great If he'd make her Secretary of State So I won't have to dump her in a Jersey land-fill."...

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Big Three Bailout Negotiations Reach $40k or $50k, Break Down

Funny story: Big Three Bailout Negotiations Reach $40k or $50k, Break Down

Auto bailout talks inexplicably broke down this Monday after negotiations had only reached $45,200. Although the deal got off to an optimistic start, grumblings quickly started from various parties with no clear explanation. The problems culminat...

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Scientist Believe They Can Predict Future Comedians

Funny story: Scientist Believe They Can Predict Future Comedians

Scientists have revealed that surnames are the biggest influence, in a person becoming a comedian. Conducting 2 hours of research on wikipdeia, the Sun newspaper and watching the comedy awards. The believe your surname can pre-determine if you are f...

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