Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 28 December 2008

image for Amy Winehouse In St Lucia 'Horse With Tits' Drama
Un caballo con grandes tetas

Nutcase Amy Winehouse stunned tourists and locals alike by performing an outrageous topless dance on holiday in St Lucia.

The tattooed Rehab singer bared her breasts for a bizarre hotel balcony boogie, before appearing on the beach to splash about in the surf with her jugs drooping around her waist.

But elderly tourists called the local police when they saw, what they thought was, a mad horse cavorting in the shallows.

Albert Grumble, 76, from Sheffield, said:

"I w' there wi' wife enjoyin' an ice cream. Then, all o' sudden, there w' this 'oss, careering abaht in sea. Our lass w' fair startled. Av nivver sin such enormous blatters on 'oss!"

Local St Lucians were also shocked to witness the shameful display of sagging tits.

Jorge Gonzales, who rents out pedaloes, said:

"Hubo un caballo con grandes tetas en la playa. Se miedo!"

Although, I don't know why, because the people of St Lucia speak English or French-based Creole.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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