Tricky Ricky Wins WWF SmackDown
Hulk Hogan, and his life-partner Mean Jean, was on hand at the 95th Annual Monday Night Raw WWF SmackDown to watch the fireworks between the Trickster and John Cena. With 40 of the meanest S.O.B.'s in the ring the event was standing room only at...
Read full storyFrom the Archives - Sales and Wants - January 1986
Wanted - 1 Clothes Peg. No questions asked.
Read full storyDon 'Nappy-Headed Ho' Imus stunned at Joe Scarborough, Boomer Esiason hirings
New York - (Nappy-Headed Mess): "Just can't believe they'd do this to me!" Don Imus said today amid reports that his old bosses at MSNBC are hiring Joe Scarborough for his old morning telecast slot and lining up NFL quarterback Boom...
Read full storyHow Now Brown Cow?
Whitehall, SW1 - (Contagious Press): The foot and mouth outbreak started by government scientists at their US-oursourced Meriel Animal Testing Laboratory in Pirbright, Surrey may have been the result of a secret Whitehall project attempting to make C...
Read full storyMan U in Community Shield Herpes Scare
WEMBLEY (Heewack News Network) -- The entire Manchester United football team has been quarantined following a massive herpes outbreak caused when an unnamed infected player kissed the Community Shield following the team's victory over Chelsea FC.
Read full storyExtremist Pro-Life Organization Seeks to Ban Kicking in the Nuts
When does human life actually begin? Those who believe in a woman's right to choose say life begins late in gestation, meaning a fetus can be aborted early in the pregnancy without moral consequence.
Read full storyNobel Peace Prize Awarded to Mr. Finootch
Fuukengroovin, Swiss Alps (IP) - Social handyman, amateur astronomer, bass player, and TheSpoof.com writer, Dr. Ebenezer Finootch will receive this year's Nobel Peace Prize for his work on how to achieve racial harmony through melanomic segregati...
Read full storyCurse of Sen John Cowdery as Polish cargo vessel The Jerk crashes into North Sea gas platform
Norfolk - (Rioters): Norfolk coastguards are investigating spooky links between the recent sinking of Alaska Senator John Cowdery boat Johnita and today's disastrous crash involving the Polish-registered cargo vessel The Jerk which obli...
Read full storyCal-el Apologizes for Minneapolis Bridge Collapse
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Ripley, WV - Superman's illegitimate half-brother, Cal-el, apologized today for the bridge collapse in Minneapolis. He said that he didn't realize that defeating the Mothman in West Virginia would just cause the same k...
Read full storyMackaFee Cyber Security Firm Calls it Quits
Chicago, Illinois (IP) - MackaFee internet security provider president Shmendrick R. Ipoff made a tearful appearance on I.P. News Network and confessed that his company is nothing but a rip off run by incompetent geeks and admitted that their softwar...
Read full storyMexican man has never seen a UFO
Enrique Pablo Gonzales, a 36 year old Mexican farm laborer, told The Spoof today that he has never seen a UFO or anything unusual in the sky.
Read full storyUnited Airlines to Experiment with Parachutes!
Unanimous Airlines (UA) announced more cost cutting moves today to save the struggling airline. High fuel prices and difficult schedules have all lead to airlines running off schedule and facing financial difficulties.
Read full storyBush asks Congress for emergency bridge retrofitting powers to prevent further threats of bridge collapse; Congress says: Okay
Washington, D.C. - President Bush was handed over his latest victory on the new war against bridge collapse today when Congress voted Bush emergency bridge retrofitting powers in a desperate attempt to prevent further bridge collapse. The President n...
Read full storyRead this, or die!
Madcap journalist Peter Musgrove put his career on the line today by writing possibly the most controversial headline in the history of the online magazine, The Spoof.
Read full storyShock as Office worker admits he no longer sees the point
In Preston an office worker has admitted that he no longer sees the point of his job, even though he has been there for fifteen years, and his 10 year plan involves nothing more than 'Thinking Time'.
Read full storyShock as Little Boy Tells Emperor he is naked
Little Billy landed himself in serous trouble today after he approached the Emperor and told him he was stark-naked!...
Read full storyWashing Machine Haunted by the Spirits of Lost Socks
In Leeds, the angry spirits of two socks were finally put to rest following the Exorcism of a Washing Machine.
Read full storyWarning - Television Weather may be wrong
Scientists have issued a warning to the population at large - not to believe everything that their weatherman or weather-lady tells them. They said that all of these warnings of impending snow and fog would only lead to panic.
Read full storyStationery Suppliers admit they mislabel their products
Today the press spokesman for Xerox said that the company in the past has labelled some of its products wrongly. Mr Jones from the company said that their multi purpose paper should only really be used for paper.
Read full storyLoud Man Arrested - People Cannot believe he was not a serial killer
In Montreal police officers arrested a loud man for breaching the peace yesterday. His neighbours were all nervous of him, but he was simply arrested for playing music too loudly.
Read full storyAndrex Puppy forced to smoke and undergo Lipo-Suction
Surprising news emerged from the Andrex factory today, that their cute puppy is actually a 14 year old Labrador, who still looks like he did as a 6 month old, due to being forced to smoke 40 cigarettes a day, and to undergo Lipo-suction to maintain h...
Read full storyHollywood Bans Use of Gosh, Crikey, Golly, Um, Er, - Hugh Grants Career scuppered
In a shock move, the kings of Hollywood have banned certain words. These words include such favourites as Er, Um, Yeah, Gosh, and Crikey. Certain curse words such as F***, B*****, S***, have been added.
Read full storyPiano Death could have been prevented by lost fat
Ryan Biggleswade from Dull died in hospital today after a piano fell on him. The 58 year old used to weigh 4 times his current weight of 15 stone.
Read full story40 Year Old pop star admits 'I only wanted to hang onto my youth for a little while longer'
A washed up pop star, who never wrote a lyric of his own has been complaining to anyone who will pay about the downturn in his career.
Read full storyWriter of X Files admits 'I never really believed in all of that stuff'
As news of a new X Files film starts circulating, we talk to a writer on the original show.
Read full storySkeletor admits 'I really miss He-Man'
The lord of cartoon darkness, Skeletor says he really misses playing around with his old mucker, He-Man.
Read full storyExpert in Morris Dancing admits it has never been a fertility dance at all
Mr Ernest Liar from the British Society of Morris Dancing has finally admitted what we all thought, Morris Dancing has never been a fertility dance at all.
Read full storyWorld's Oldest Man says 'Age is not the same as it used to be'
Mr James, the world's oldest man at 212 has admitted that age is not what it would have been had he died at 200.
Read full storyEskimo Sells Sanity
Today, an Eskimo admitted that he sold his sanity to fund an ice melting machine.
Read full storySt Christopher to start wearing a St Ronald
St Christopher, the patron Saint of Traveller's is now wearing a St Ronald, the patron saint of Paper work.
Read full storyBob Dylan in Album cover surprise
Robert Zimmerman, the alter ego of the curmudgeonly Sixties legend Bob Dylan is to record an album of cover versions.
Read full storyWeather Satellite Unable to Detect Mexican Border
Cape Canaveral, Florida, (IP) - A weather satellite launched by intoxicated technicians has been unable to detect a border line between Mexico and the United States. Scientists are unsure if this is an artifact of the resolution capabilities of the...
Read full storyParanoid People Really Being Followed
Murphy, North Carolina (IP) - A study conducted in Murphy's Law Center in Murphy, N.C. reveals that just because you are paranoid does not necessarily mean you really are not being followed around.
Read full storySaturn is Missing, Outer Planets Outraged
Mount Palomar, California (IP) - Reports streaming in from the outer solar system indicate that the planet Saturn is missing. It was previously reported that Saturn and Jupiter were breaking up and Jupiter is a major suspect in Saturn's disappea...
Read full storyBarry Bonds Ties Home Run Record
Barry Bonds hit his 755th home run to tie Hank Aaron's record. This places him in a probable "asterisk" record if/when he moves ahead of Aaron after hitting his next home run.
Read full storyChurchill said Prince Philip was a tosser
London - (Disaster Press): Sir Winston Churchill expressed doubts over Prince Philip being able to father so much as a tadpole let alone an heir to the British throne according to archives released today.
Read full storyUS Vioxx pharmalab named as deadly foot & mouth toxin manufacturer
Surrey - (Rotters): And you all thought that lethal biological weapons' manufacture was the preserve of monsters like Saddam, or nutters operating under the convenience flag called Al-Qaeda?...
Read full storyFrame and Glass Make a Spectacle of Themselves
FORMER Aztec Camera frontman Roddy Frame and Dunfermline winger Stephen Glass disgraced themselves across Glasgow last night in a shameful show of drunken tomfoolery.
Read full storyVietnam Vet Guns-down Charlie in Saigon
OFFICIALS feared a diplomatic 'meltdown' last night after a Saigon veterinarian mistakenly executed the beloved family pet of two tourists from Milton Keynes.
Read full storyBrown admits Poppy production policy
United Nations drug officials say the new Afghan Government has largely failed in its efforts to eradicate the opium poppy crop.
Read full storyTesco SatNavs - every little helps!
Tesco now boasts some of the largest supermarkets in the United Kingdom and it has been known for some people to become lost in the aisles.
Read full storyAmerica Loses War on Terror
Here in the nation's capital of New Mecca (formerly Washington D.C.) the United States formally surrendered to Terror today, with the inauguration of President Osama bin Laden.
Read full storyAngry cows attacks rise in India
LUCKNOW, India - (Rooters) Angry cows attacks almost 2 million strange Indian villagers on Saturday.
Read full storyCheney's Mom Destitute, Lives in Haitian Slum
Reutupyers - Vice President Cheney confirmed today that his mother is in fact a chimpanzee, living destitute in Port Au Prince, Haiti. The Vice President broke down during the admission in taping Meet The Press.
Read full storyGeorge Bush Hunts New Villan
George Bush seemingly answered the prayers of many last night, stating that he had decided to pull all of the American troops out of Iraq. The reasons soon became clear, many thought that Bush had decided that the war was not gaining anything or that...
Read full storyParis Says Youth Should Be Forgiven, Not Judged
Paris Hilton has been reported to be gravely concerned for youth the world over.
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