Sen. Craig's Court transcript released: claims he was moonlighting as an airport restroom spit and polish shoeshine man

Funny story: Sen. Craig's Court transcript released: claims he was moonlighting as an airport restroom spit and polish shoeshine man

Washington, D.C. - Fearful that he would be discovered he had to supplement his government employee income by working a second job at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International airport, Senator Craig took his shoeshine man business into the bathroom stal...

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Palace fury at stupid 'William's secret wedding' reports

Funny story: Palace fury at stupid 'William's secret wedding' reports

Clarence House - (Ass Mess): Buckingham Palace is said to be livid at a spate of Daily Mail fantasy-peddling claims that the heir apparent to the Pretender to the Throne secretly wed his former girlfriend Kate Middleton while on Holiday at Butlins in...

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Uneducated Brocolli

Funny story: Uneducated Brocolli

A recent development has sprung from the news that Cauliflower is now the least well educated of the vegetable family.

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Yet another princess sanitises Wikipedia entry over drug baron past

Funny story: Yet another princess sanitises Wikipedia entry over drug baron past

The Hague, Netherlands - (Ass Mess & Uterus): The Queen Mum started it, followed by the Puppet Monarch Old Fatty Mountbatten herself, then Princess Margaret, Princess Anne and finally Diana, Princess of Wales.

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Mr Bronson's Favourite Children's Books

We spoke to friendly headmaster Mr Bronson about his favourite children's books. They are...

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10 Things to do with cheese

1) Take it for a walk 2) Put it in socks...

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10 Things Victor Meldrew can believe

Professional Miserabilist, see-er of empty glasses and man old enough to remember when God was a boy, Victor Meldrew does believe the following things:...

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Ayles Ice Island threatens Corrupt Bastards pipeline

Funny story: Ayles Ice Island threatens Corrupt Bastards pipeline

Resolute Bay - (Ass Mess): A massive ice island is threatening to cut off Corrupt Bastards Club pipelines after drifting from its 2005 Canadian coastal break-off point towards Resolute Bay's neighboring oil and gas installations.

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International Male Conspiracy to Meet

Funny story: International Male Conspiracy to Meet

The International Male Conspiracy Against Women announced today that Tokyo will be the site of its annual meeting this year.

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Homer J. Simpson Dislikes Ned Flanders

Scientist and Master Of All Things Simpson, Mr. Chain McFredfredburger, has found evidence in several Simpsons episodes that the character by the name of Homer J. Simpson shows a lot of negative energy around a Mr. Ned Flanders.

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Weapons Hazardous, Researcher Says

Funny story: Weapons Hazardous, Researcher Says

Berkeley, CA. A scientist at the Lawrence Livermore Laboratory announced the results of a five-year study which he contends shows the existence of a possible link between the detonation of explosive devices in heavily-populated areas and an increased...

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Cat attacks Goblin

Funny story: Cat attacks Goblin

An irate cat assaulted a defenseless Goblin in an abandoned warehouse in Washington, DC yesterday.

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Dutch prostitute wins Belching trophy

Funny story: Dutch prostitute wins Belching trophy

Dutch prostitute, Maria Engels, won the golden ball at this years International Belching Championships held in Oslo, Norway.

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"I'm handsomer than Hell..." Mitt Romney admits in public for the first time

Overflow, Utah - Before a gathering of five thousand outside the Overflow branch of the JSNMM (Just Say No Monogamous Mormon's Club), presidential hopeful Mitt Romney opened with a rousing line that drew sustained applause.

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Humans evolved from arm-chairs, claim scientists

Funny story: Humans evolved from arm-chairs, claim scientists

Scientists at the University of Oklahoma, have proposed that human beings evolved from arm-chairs.

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Invisible Man Gets Invisible Tan

Funny story: Invisible Man Gets Invisible Tan

DAYTONA BEACH, FL (AP Newsliar) -- The Invisible Man expressed consternation yesterday that nobody could see the truly righteous tan he has been working on.

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America to Allow Drunk Driving

Funny story: America to Allow Drunk Driving

HILLSDALE, MICHIGAN- Citing a recent spike in Americans driving while under the influence of alcohol the Bush Administration has introduced new legislation requiring impaired drivers to follow a speed limit twenty miles per hour above what is current...

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Bush Guarantees A Home For Every Poor Person In America

Funny story: Bush Guarantees A Home For Every Poor Person In America

(Washington) - President George W. Bush today announced that he was using his presidential power to guarantee that every poor person in America would be able to afford a home.

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Bush Introduces Another Anti-Terrorism Device

Funny story: Bush Introduces Another Anti-Terrorism Device

The Bush administration has approved the Office of the Director of National Intelligence and the Department of Homeland Security to continue development on a machine that will read people's souls.

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Archaeological Surprise

Funny story: Archaeological Surprise

Archaeologists from the Centre for Scientific Input (CSI) in Cardiff have unearthed a startling discovery. Working on a site rumoured to be the summer palace of King Arthur on the Breacon Beacons, they came upon a large burial chamber. Within the cha...

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Big Brother Twins Sam And Amanda Aren't Really Twins

Funny story: Big Brother Twins Sam And Amanda Aren't Really Twins

As the Big Brother show winds to its terrible conclusion tonight, Channel 4 bosses have revealed a revelation well worth revealing, say experts.

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America's Newest Minority Group - Rich White Males

Funny story: America's Newest Minority Group - Rich White Males

(Washington) - With the population of the United States now standing at 300 million, the newest group to be granted official minority status is: rich white males.

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Bush demands £25 billion to stop offensive Iraq

Funny story: Bush demands £25 billion to stop offensive Iraq

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): George W Bush has said he wants £25billion to stop the offensive business of Iraq.

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Hillary tells Letterman of Alaskan Corrupt Bastards Club encounter

Funny story: Hillary tells Letterman of Alaskan Corrupt Bastards Club encounter

New Yor, - (Ass Mess): Wannabe presidential contender Hillary Clinton told Dacvid Letterman on Thursday night about a summer vacation spent in Alaska during which she had her initial encounters with the state's Corrupt Bastards Club.

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Beckham's stellar career "over in next 48 hours"

Funny story: Beckham's stellar career "over in next 48 hours"

Los Angele, California - (Asas Mess): LA Galaxy will dump David Beckham, their stellar new signing, "sometime over the weekend" according to soccer sources who say the former Real Madrid striker has ben a dead loss financially to the Los An...

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Monster web spun around Predator Chapel Ranch in Crawford, Texas

Funny story: Monster web spun around Predator Chapel Ranch in Crawford, Texas

Crawford, tezarse - (Ass Mes): A monster web of deceit has been discovered surrounding the Predator Chapel Ranch home of George W Bush according to Texas A&M University entomologist Professor John Jackman.

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Bush Cabinet falls apart: White house carpenter quits.

Funny story: Bush Cabinet falls apart: White house carpenter quits.

After years of degeneration and ware and tare, Bush's treasured Cabinet has finally broken down and can no longer contain anything; his scattered crumbled up memo's, doodle pad for late night meetings, and even his emergency change of clothes...

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Lender of last resort bails out Barclays with £1.6billion

Funny story: Lender of last resort bails out Barclays with £1.6billion

London - (Ass Mess): The Bank of England has stepped in for the second time this month as lender of the l;ast resort with a £1.6 billion loan to troubled UK high street bank Barclays.

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Study Reveals Consensus on Lack of Global Warming Consensus

Funny story: Study Reveals Consensus on Lack of Global Warming Consensus

HAMBURG, GERMANY (AP Newsliar) A recent survey conducted to gage the opinions of climate researchers reveals there is now consensus on the fact that there is no consensus on the question of whether global warming is predominantly caused by human acti...

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American Trucks Begin Crossing Border Saturday! Now gringos, terrorists, can enter Mexico, too!

Funny story: American Trucks Begin Crossing Border Saturday! Now gringos, terrorists, can enter Mexico, too!

MEXICO, Federal District. The first American trucks will begin crossing the border, confirming deeply held fears in Mexico that Mexican sovereignty has been lost.

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Official GOP Elephant Wants OUT of Republican Party

Funny story: Official GOP Elephant Wants OUT of Republican Party

AC DC - In Washington to day Clyde the official Republican elephant and mascot announced he is becoming an "independent". Clyde, who has learned 3000 words of a special sign language, spoke to reporters through an interpretor.

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Hellfire Club grandees gather at Diana memorial service

Funny story: Hellfire Club grandees gather at Diana memorial service

Guards Chapel, Wellington Bollox - (Ass Mess): Over 200 members of the UK's Hellfire Club gathered at the Guards Chapel in Wellington Bollox today to pay homage to their greatest fantasy creation who died at the hands of a drunk driver ten years...

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Zoo Apologizes to Kindergarten Classes for Putting Baby Panda in Lion's Den

Funny story: Zoo Apologizes to Kindergarten Classes for Putting Baby Panda in Lion's Den

TEXAS - Several Mendacity Springs ISD kindergarten classes were sent into extreme hysterics yesterday when a mathematical error took the life of orphaned baby panda, Snuggles Smiles-A-Lot. Zoo officials are still investigating the mishap that happene...

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Male Republican Politicians Ordered to Wear Adult Diapers

Funny story: Male Republican Politicians Ordered to Wear Adult Diapers

The Republican National Committee felt it had to take this action, citing too much temptation attached to restroom visits while on the road. "The GOP has come to stand for grand old perverts," one disgusted committee member complained.

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Osama Bin Ladin and Sheryl Crow to Wed!

Funny story: Osama Bin Ladin and Sheryl Crow to Wed!

Burka, Pakistan - Sheryl Crow shocked fans and the music world today when she announce she is giving up her mediocre career to be come the 20th wife of Osama Bin Laden.

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Pesos Accepted at Washington DC Taco Bells

Funny story: Pesos Accepted at Washington DC Taco Bells

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) -- When Taco Bell announced plans to accept Mexican pesos in its 19 Washington, DC-area restaurants, the fast food chain was besieged by a mixture of praise as well as anti-illegal immigrant hate mail.

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Solar Ice Caps Discovered

Funny story: Solar Ice Caps Discovered

Mount Palomar, California (IP) - Scientists at the Mount Palomar campus announced the discovery of polar ice caps on the sun today. The news has shaken most of the scientific world with the exception of Poland.

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White House pranksters give Rove's car an extreme makeover as a giant prophylactic; only he was not in it at the time, they say

Funny story: White House pranksters give Rove's car an extreme makeover as a giant prophylactic; only he was not in it at the time, they say

Washington, D.C. - While away at President Bush's ranch in Crawford, Texas, some of Carl Rove's White House co-workers back in Washington decided to carryout some gamesmanship of their own in honor of their beloved political stagiest's de...

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