CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Ripley, WV - Superman's illegitimate half-brother, Cal-el, apologized today for the bridge collapse in Minneapolis. He said that he didn't realize that defeating the Mothman in West Virginia would just cause the same kind of accident elsewhere.
"I really am sorry that this had to happen to someone else, but the Superhero conduct code doesn't allow us to kill the bad guys," said Cal-el. "I'm just glad that there were no more casualties than there were. Crime fighting is a difficult job, especially in this day and age. There are cameras everywhere now, so you have to fly faster than the cameras can register you, or try to avoid them completely."
With the new technology and the new orders that have overridden the Constitution of the United States, the reporter understands how difficult crime fighting must be for Cal-el. It seems that every part of American life has been affected.
"Do you have any plans to go after the Mothman for this incident," asked reporter Cal Jennings.
"Until President Bush declares him a terrorist, my hands are tied," said Cal-el.
"Well, before long, anyone who speaks out against anything the president says will be declared a terrorist," said Cal Jennings.
"Hmmm... maybe I can trick the Mothman into saying something against the president aiding Lebanon... then I could get him," said Cal-el.
There may be hope for America against the Mothman yet.
