Written by queen mudder

Sunday, 5 August 2007

image for Curse of Sen John Cowdery as Polish cargo vessel The Jerk crashes into North Sea gas platform
The Polish-registered Jerk just before today's incident

Norfolk - (Rioters): Norfolk coastguards are investigating spooky links between the recent sinking of Alaska Senator John Cowdery boat Johnita and today's disastrous crash involving the Polish-registered cargo vessel The Jerk which obliterated the Viking Echo gas platform in the North Sea.

"Our first reaction was this could be a copy-cat 'accident' similar to any number of recent Alaskan Corrupt Bastards Club boat sinkings, including Senator Cowdery's and that of Bruce Weyhrauch," marine police said today.

"Its name The Jerk was spookily reminiscent of those corrupt Alaskan politicians' boats sinking and this is a clue we are actively investigating."

The 95 metre 2000-tonne Antigua & Barbuda-registered vessel was carrying 5,000,000 gallons of pure grain spirit distilled in Germany sank in deep water at about 0800 BST on Sunday.

Witnesses said they saw the Viking Echo platform shudder as The Jerk crashed into it before listing heavily to 30 degree.

Six crew wearing lifejackets then jumped into the sea and were soon rescued as the vessel split it's hull before dumping its freight into the water.

All were breatherlised and detained under the UK's marine DUI laws.

Meanwhile the Viking Echo gas rig is said to be intact but floating in a lethal cocktail that would be more at home in a typical London pub.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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