Bush gets Sar-cosy with French President
US-Franco relations improved as two Presidents cosied up together by a lake at the foot of Brokeback Mountain in America.
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Warfare In South London Intensifies To New Level
Dirthole, SOUTH LONDON (Defecated News) - Rival groups involved in the ongoing black-on-black gang war in South London have adopted newer, more frightening methods. AK47s, rocket launchers, tanks and even stealth bombers have been em...
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Lost Star Panics As He Gets 'Lost' In Real Life.
MYSTERIOUS ISLAND (Defecated News) - Fiction became harsh fact for an extra on TV's 'Lost' show last weekend. Barry Wise of Sheffield, who played one of 'The Others' briefly in one episode, was left stranded on th...
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Paparazzi Captures Katie Holmes 'Au Naturale'
NEW YOIK (Defecated News) - The pleasures of stardom - adoring fans, being fucking minted but still getting free meals, and tax evasion. No one has enjoyed these more than vertically challenged 'alleged gay' actor Tom Cruise.
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Ferguson Retires After Breaking Hairdryer
Sir Alex Ferguson, long-time manager of Manchester United has retired from football management after his legendary hairdryer broke down due to overload after his club's disappointing 0-0 draw with Reading.
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CFR Corrupt Bastards Spike Dennis Kucinich's MySpace Page
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - The Internets - While investigating the 2008 Presidential Candidates' websites for news on the 2008 election, I ran across Dennis Kucinich's page. As soon as I arrived at his MySpace page, a window popped up and said t...
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Equestrian Attachment Part II
- Sir, every night exactly at 2200, we used to let loose H-345 so that he could go for a quick visitation, you know what I mean, to pack mules' stables. Even the pack-mule personnel and some cavalrymen on duty looked forward to this10-15 minute occasion as a pass time.
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Equestrian Attachment Part I
It was after midnight, when I, Lt. Russell Justin, Cavalry, 4th Regiment, Duty Officer, heard clatter of many horses' hooves: so clear, so loud, so near that I thought the fort was taken by the Red Guard. Hand on my .45 pistol, I rushed out of the guardhouse in order to assess the situation. I could not believe my eyes. In the dead of the night, I saw hundreds of horses and men on-foot, neighi...
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Belated but Accurate
Mass Media, disseminating misinformation, is in deep mess, but still up and running. As a result, the whole world has lost contact with environment and turned into a cat without whiskers.
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Kate Moss's Topshop clothes made with 'slave New Labour'
London - (Ass Mess): One of the UK's most successful fraudsters men is profiting from Asian workers paid less than £1 a day to make clothes for his latest Kate Moss range for Topshop.
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Man Vs Wild Survivorman Will Join Forces
Cape Canaveral, Florida <):O) (IP) (O:(> - On August 27th Mars and the Earth will be only 678,000 miles apart. It will become relatively simple to send spacecraft to Mars for about 30 days during which time Les Stroud and Bear Grylls will tea...
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Huge gas field found under Buckingham Palace
London - (Ass Mess): A vast resevoir of gas has been found deep underneath Buckingham Palace grounds prompting early speculation that the massive field is liquefied natural gas.
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Charlie Sheen Denies Sperm Donor Request From Denise Richards
Actress Denise Richards requested a sperm donation from soon to be ex-husband Charlie Sheen. They already have two children together and she wanted the third to have the same DNA. Sheen, star of "Two and a Half Men" and the "Hot Shots" movies, laug...
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"I think we have fecked up" admits Bromley Council
At a time when cash strapped local authorities are having to account for every penny spent, the London Borough of Bromley is being heavily criticised for spending over £120 million on a 80,000 capacity stadium for Beckenham Town Football Club whose a...
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Exorcism Available Via Liposuction
Vatican City (IP) - Our religious reporter recently toured the Vatican. While there he found out about a new device being distributed around the world that will take most of the pain out of the exorcism process and allows patients to lose their love...
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Censors Flooding Market With Writer's Block
United Nations, Ney York City (IP) - The internet is a powerful source of information and our New York office recently discovered that censors through out the world have taken steps to put an end to information that might threaten the status quo.
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Termites Threaten Shuttle Fleet
Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - Our investigative reporter was recently taking a tour of the Kennedy Space center. While he was in the men's room his tour bus left without him. He knew another bus would soon come along and so he began to wander...
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Meteors By the Bucket
Mount Palomar, California (IP) - Our science reporter went to Mount Palomar to find out what to expect during the peak of the Perseid meteor shower which will occur after midnight tonight. When he arrived at the observatory campus he was puzzled by...
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Global Financial Meltdown is Underway Says Ben Bernanke
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - The global financial meltdown is underway says Ben Bernanke, head of the US Federal Reserve, in an exclusive interview with FMLiveWire.
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Who ate all "Le Pies"
Football fans throughout the world will be in shock today after amazing pictures published in The Spoof, showed the man once known as "Le God" shopping in his native town of Marseille.
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Iowa Straw Poll Results Announced, Huckleberries Become Huckabees
Most Americans hadn't even HEARD of former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, let alone know that he was running for President. But that was before, seemingly out of nowhere, he vaulted to second place in the Iowa Straw Poll.
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Cinematic Version of 'El Avestruz es el ave más grande que ha logrado sobrevivir hasta nuestros días' Begins Pre-production
LOS ANGELES (People Magazine) - After lengthy negotiations to pin down a director, the film version of SpaceElevator's pet project has finally entered pre-production. First it was Oliver Stone. Then it was Alfonso Cuarón (director of 'Y tu...
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Christian athletes blame Jesus for game loss
DATELINE - ATLANTA: In what may be unprecedented for this Christ-crazy region, Christian collegiate athletes have blamed Jesus for their humiliating defeat in a football game. After getting trounced by a team that "didn't even belong on the...
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