World's Oldest Man says 'Age is not the same as it used to be'

Written by Ben Macnair

Sunday, 5 August 2007

image for World's Oldest Man says 'Age is not the same as it used to be'
Time waiting, yesterday

Mr James, the world's oldest man at 212 has admitted that age is not what it would have been had he died at 200.

Speaking from the top of the Empire State Building, the man, who remembers the whole of the 19th century, but not yesterday said:

"Had I only lived until I was 200 I would be remembered. Now, I will have to wait until I am 300 before the papers. What will I do with the next 88 years of life. I am so bored. People said I had to do everything in my Youth, and now I have done everything.

"I have been to the moon, had affairs with world leaders, actresses, and starlets, you name it, I have done it. Or, at least I think I have. I read so much that I cannot decide whether or not it was my life, or someone else's."

He then dozed off.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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