A Deadly Quandary

Funny story: A Deadly Quandary

Florida currently has a Presidential primary set for Jan. 29, 2008. To correct this affront, South Carolina, with a claim to be "first in the South," feels compelled to move their primaries to Jan. 22, 2008.

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Amy Winehouse - Shock Video Exclusive

Funny story: Amy Winehouse - Shock Video Exclusive

LONDON (Defecated News) - In an exclusive revelation, The Spoof can now confirm that a betamax video of Amy Winehouse has been found. The contents are sure to shock all in the entertainment world, especiall...

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Tullamore remembers Jewish Republican Publican

Funny story: Tullamore remembers Jewish Republican Publican

Manny Weinburg is a name that is better known in Ireland than it is in Israel, and yet Manny Weinburg is undoubtedly one of the Jewish peoples greatest heroes. Manny was born in the Austrian village of 'Fucking' in 1888 but moved to Ireland at th...

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Freddie Mercury "Did NOT Die From AIDS"

Funny story: Freddie Mercury "Did NOT Die From AIDS"

LONDON (Defecated News) - Pop Legend and arse-bandit extrordinaire Freddie Mercury (born as Farrokh Bulsara) lost his battle with life in November 1991. The cause of death had always been presumed related to the AIDS virus he caught...

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New Ambulance Siren Will Include Sound of Machine-Gun Fire

Funny story: New Ambulance Siren Will Include Sound of Machine-Gun Fire

"Something has to be done - nobody respects the ambulance siren anymore," explained local ambulance driver, John Walsh, as he flicked on his siren to more easily navigate through a crowded McDonald's parking lot. "I heard about th...

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New Aishwarya Rai wax statue shows her four months pregnant

Funny story: New Aishwarya Rai wax statue shows her four months pregnant

Times Square, New York - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): A new waxwork statue of Bollywood screen star and living goddess Aishwarya Rai is to be unveiled in Madame Tussaud's Times Square, New York next month and will show the green-eyed beauty four months...

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Cherie apoplectic as her conman financial advisor Foster faces fraud trial

Funny story: Cherie apoplectic as her conman financial advisor Foster faces fraud trial

Brisbane, Australia - (Ass Mess): It's her worst nightmare ever. And now Cherie Blair is reported to be shitting herself as officials order her to lie low in the Carribean while her former financial advisor, Peter Foster, stands trial on fraud c...

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Alonso Throws Tantrum

Funny story: Alonso Throws Tantrum

Formula One ace Fernando Alsonso is reported to have thrown a huge tantrum after being demoted from pole to sixth on the grid for the Hungarian Grand Prix for childishly impeding Hamilton's qualifying, TheSpoof.com News can reveal.

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Re-inventing money laundering?

Funny story: Re-inventing money laundering?

Alexandria, Louisiana - (Felonious Press): Are counterfeitters getting smarter or cops getting dumber? That's what is puzzling Louisiana investigators after a rash of fake $100 bills that flooded the market turned out to be bona fide $5 bills wa...

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Man Who Caught Barry Bonds Ball has Novel Way to Display it

Funny story: Man Who Caught Barry Bonds Ball has Novel Way to Display it

After Barry Bonds hit his record breaking home run there was pandemonium in the stands to gain control of the ball. The ball has been estimated to be worth an undetermined amount. Bonds 72 HRs in a season fetched some $400.000. Fans are saying the ke...

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Foot & Mouth Outbreak Caused By Heroin-Addicted Cow

Funny story: Foot & Mouth Outbreak Caused By Heroin-Addicted Cow

The UK foot & mouth outbreak, Spoof News can reveal, was not caused by a sewage leak from the Government-funded Pirbright Research Centre, but was spread by a cow who mistook a sample of the deadly disease for heroin.

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Menstal Cycles Leave Women Raging

Funny story: Menstal Cycles Leave Women Raging

A UKRAINIAN bicycle manufacturer in the picturesque village of Kil Menstal last night faced a barrage of criticism from women's groups at the official press launch of their new 2007 range.

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Cavemen Arrested for Selling Fake Artifacts

Funny story: Cavemen Arrested for Selling Fake Artifacts

Atlanta, Georgia (IP) Temperatures in Atlanta hit the tree digit mark today but things got even hotter for the Cavemen made so popular thanks to their TV commercials that seem to appear on the screen every 10 minutes.

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Immigrants Arrested for Ohms Law Violations

Funny story: Immigrants Arrested for Ohms Law Violations

Mephistopheles, Tennessee (IP) - Two million immigrants have been rounded up and arrested by homeland security and immigration agents for gross violations of ohm's law. They have been taken to special reeducation camps where they will be taught...

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To Promote Abstinence, Bush Begins 'Just say NO to vagina' Campaign

Funny story: To Promote Abstinence, Bush Begins 'Just say NO to vagina' Campaign

President Bush and his wife Laura announced today that the federal government will attempt to promote their Abstinence Only program and discourage teenage boys from having sex with a new $1.2 Billion 'Just say NO to vagina' advertising campai...

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Cricket - Bob Woolmer's killers found and executed.

Funny story: Cricket - Bob Woolmer's killers found and executed.

LONDON (Defecated News) - For months the mystery surrounding the fatal death of Pakistani cricket coach Bob Woolmer has been left wide open and unresolved. That is - until - now. The Pakistani government have informed The Spoof that...

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Bush Declares War On the US

Funny story: Bush Declares War On the US

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - Last night, George W. Bush declared war on the United States of America. Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich tried to block the action, but new apoitee Alberto Gonzales ruled in favor of George Bush.

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New Lord Lucan sighting in Charles's back passage

Funny story: New Lord Lucan sighting in Charles's back passage

Clarence House - (Rectum Press): A new sighting of Lord Lucan has been reported in Prince Charles's back passage - the last known confirmed sighting of the missing peer who vanished after losing the Hellfire Club's entire House of Mountbatten...

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She's a Clinton and He's Black. NOW VOTE!

Funny story: She's a Clinton and He's Black. NOW VOTE!

NEW YOIK (Defecated News) - Both are strong, charismatic and confident politicians with strong support from centre-left voters. But it would appear that their policies are starting to thin and the reasons for their presidency bids ar...

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Amy Whorehouse bombs after dodgy coke wrap ordeal

Funny story: Amy Whorehouse bombs after dodgy coke wrap ordeal

London - (Ass Mess): Amy Whorehouse pulled out of an MTV video music awards gig today after snorting the contents of a dodgy coke wrap scored from Camden Lock's notorious Whorely Arms pub.

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Tissue Engineers Create Meat From A Fungus

Funny story: Tissue Engineers Create Meat From A Fungus

LONDON (Defecated News) - Following a series of scientific 'breakthroughs' over the past few years, genetic scientists and tissue engineers have managed to isiloate specific cells from shitake mushroom and create a piece of m...

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Space Aliens Describe Their Preferences

Funny story: Space Aliens Describe Their Preferences

Mexico City, Mexico (IP) I.P. investigative reporters were summoned to the Intergalactic Alien's Union Mother Ship so that the aliens could express themselves via the Maximum Alien Supreme (His English name is Tim Nugent) and clear up some questi...

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Pirbright lab staff 'suffering from mad cow disease'

Funny story: Pirbright lab staff 'suffering from mad cow disease'

Pirbright, Slurry - (Reterus & Ass Mess): Workers at the government's Pirbright animal rights research center have tested positive for mad cow disease.

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Al Gore Sells His Business Empire for $3.2bn

Funny story: Al Gore Sells His Business Empire for $3.2bn

LONDON (Defecated News) - Former Vice President and guy who nearly got the top job himself, but didn't really, Al Gore is set to pocket over $3bn this year.

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Al Qaeda and Taliban Grateful to Mr. Bush

Bush City, Talibania (IP) - Our investigative reporter has just learned that the Al Qaeda and Taliban director of social services and etiquette has been instructed by her bosses to send a nice thank you card to president Bush for the wonderful stock...

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Man vs Wild Adventures Authenticated

Funny story: Man vs Wild Adventures Authenticated

Kookamanga, Belize (IP) - An investigative reporter has verified that Bear Gryll's adventures are indeed bona fide.

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Las Vegas Tops Heaven as Ultimate Destination

Funny story: Las Vegas Tops Heaven as Ultimate Destination

(Las Vegas) - A new report by the Las Vegas Visitors Board shows that more people go to Las Vegas than go to Heaven.

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Putin's Arctic sub crashes into sightseeing pleasure boat

Funny story: Putin's Arctic sub crashes into sightseeing pleasure boat

Svalbard Islands, Arctic Ocean - (Ass Mess): The Russian submarine cerdited with establishing Vladimir Sputum's claims to hydrocarbon deposits under the North Polce last week has collided dramatically with a sightseeing pleasure-cruiser off the S...

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Profile: Geritol Hightower Says He's The REAL Ironman

Funny story: Profile: Geritol Hightower Says He's The REAL Ironman

At 72, Hightower leads the fight against agism. Say "Iron Man," and Marvel Comic fans automatically assume you're referring to Tony Starks from the Avengers crew. But unlike the superhero, 72-year old Geritol Hightower didn't need a shrapnel wound to the chest nor did he have to sell out to the Vietnam Communist party to become Iron Man.

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Muslim-Mormon Rap Fusion Duo Make Their First $1bn

Funny story: Muslim-Mormon Rap Fusion Duo Make Their First $1bn

NEW YOIK (Defecated News) - One was born in Saudi Arabia, the other in Salt Lake City. One is a follower of Islam, the other a Mormon. But what links these two is their music and the one billion dollars they have made since forming their rap...

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Subway Cause A Spicy Storm With Human Flesh Sandwich

Funny story: Subway Cause A Spicy Storm With Human Flesh Sandwich

NEW YOIK (Defecated News) - They've opened up franchise restaurants around the world serving sandwiches made from bread baked that same day, fillings as fresh as possible. Value for money and ultimately, a delicious meal, have ma...

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Bollywood Casablanca Remake To Star That Mohit Bloke

Funny story: Bollywood Casablanca Remake To Star That Mohit Bloke

The classic Hollywood romance movie Casablanca is to be given a Bollywood makeover, renamed and rereleased in traditional Indian cinema format, complete with 26 new and unending 'musical...

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Siamese Twins To Have Surgery? My Arse!

BEIJING (Defecated News) - The science world has been in a state of deep confusion since the birth of Siamese Twins Yu Lon Kok and Yu Wi Kok nearly twenty years ago. How could they survive such adverse circumstances and how could the...

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Steve Coogan To Play Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards In Terrible Film

Funny story: Steve Coogan To Play Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards In Terrible Film

TV funnyman and chat show host Steve Coogan is set to play the lead role of anti-hero Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards in a movie of the talentless British ski-jumping nonentity's 'hardly-worth-telli...

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President Bush Diagnosed with Liars Disease

Funny story: President Bush Diagnosed with Liars Disease

Questions, questions, questions. Ever since George Bush took office there were mountains of unanswered questions about, to begin with how could he have beaten Al Gore when he was clearly defeated by his Democratic opponent?...

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Lampard Eats Robben

Funny story: Lampard Eats Robben

Turmoil has engulfed the Chelsea squad as reports surface that midfielder Frank "I'm not fat, I'm just big-boned" Lampard has eaten teammate Arjen Robben. Suspicions were raised when Robben didn't arrive as usual for th...

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Shuttle launches to beseech Gods to halt rain.

Funny story: Shuttle launches to beseech Gods to halt rain.

California: - NASA has despatched a crack team of boffins into the heavens today to parley and parlay with whatever gods can be found floating around above the clouds.

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Outsourcing goes too far this time

Funny story: Outsourcing goes too far this time

Outsourcing, the hiring of foreigners to work at wages unacceptable to normal (i.e. American) people, is nothing new. It's everywhere in corporate America these days. In fact, the very article you're reading now is outsourced. It is being wri...

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Government backed military cult discovered!

Funny story: Government backed military cult discovered!

London - Root-ours:-In a shock press release today, investigative journalist told how they have discovered the presence of a military based super cult right under our very noses and even more shockingly it exists wit...

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How to Write a Successful article for The Spoof! - The Bollywood Method

Funny story: How to Write a Successful article for The Spoof! - The Bollywood Method

A supercomputer in the Spoof! offices in Canary Wharf has supposedly cracked the secret of writing a successful Spoof! article.

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Billy the Kid shot for "not being in a gang"

Funny story: Billy the Kid shot for "not being in a gang"

Mother of teenage gun victim Billy the Kid, said that her son was shot for not being in a gang. Mrs Winny the-Kidd told our reporter that her son, the youngest of three, was a model student. His older brothers, Cherokee Bill

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Fox News Turns to Local Crime Reporting

Funny story: Fox News Turns to Local Crime Reporting

New York, New York (IP) - Investigative reporters have learned that President Bush and the Iraq war have become so unpopular that Fox news and the Glenn Beck show have decided that reporting on those subjects would be detrimental to the Republican pa...

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Soccer's David Beckham signs for San Francisco 49ers

Funny story: Soccer's David Beckham signs for San Francisco 49ers

Pro Football is a cut throat business where millions can be won or lost with just one kick of the ball, now the San Francisco 49ers are gambling not just dollars but ultimately their reputation on World Soccer's David Beckham who Head Coach Mike...

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Ghastly American Plots Fashion Heist at Diana Memorial

British security forces are in a xenophobic search for grotesquely wealthy American divorcee Suzie Schitz, ex-wife of the trillionaire burger wrap manufacturer Leonard (Lennie) "Clever" Schitz.

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People Who Support the U.S. Constitution Are Terrorists!

Funny story: People Who Support the U.S. Constitution Are Terrorists!

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - United States - An FBI flyer created during the Clinton administration declares that "defenders" of the US Constitution against federal government and the UN are to be considered terrorists, especially if they are whi...

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