Bush Administration claims: flooding in England not global warming; merely glaciers attempting to illegally immigrate

Funny story: Bush Administration claims: flooding in England not global warming; merely glaciers attempting to illegally immigrate

London, England - Bush administration officials finally released a comment regarding the massive flooding in central England this summer, blaming it not on the increasing signs all pointing to global warming but glaciers attempting to illegally immig...

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Washington State brags "We're Number One in serial murders!"

Funny story: Washington State brags "We're Number One in serial murders!"

Washington State, northwesternmost of the 48 contiguous United States, had seen better days. Its flagship company, Boeing Aircraft, had moved its headquarters to Chicago. Its sports teams had won only one national championship, and that one 28 years...

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Winner Announced for America's Got Talent

Funny story: Winner Announced for America's Got Talent

The voting is over, all the ballots have been counted, and a winner has been selected for the 2007 season of America's got talent. Show judge, actor, and singer David Hasselhoff revealed the results at a publicity party in Los Angeles before the...

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Krusty Burger to offer 50 cent steaks

Funny story: Krusty Burger to offer 50 cent steaks

"Buy them fresh from the truck, fast frozen or cooked to perfection, our steaks are 100% cruelty free," said spokesman Herschel Schmoikel Krustofski.

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Hollywood Celebrates Hayden Panettierre On Her 18th Birthday and Entry Into Skankdom

Funny story: Hollywood Celebrates Hayden Panettierre On Her 18th Birthday and Entry Into Skankdom

Hayden Panettierre, the young cheerleader from the cast of Heroes, turns eighteen years old this week. For her official entry into the world of Hollywood sleaze, other media personalities are throwing her a "skanking out" party. Each of several fam...

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College Football Preseason Top 25 Announced

Funny story: College Football Preseason Top 25 Announced

The AP has released their preseason top 25, rating all of the best football teams before a ball has been snapped. This year, as should be no surprise, USC, Ohio State, Texas, Michigan, Florida, Oklahoma, Georgia, Tennessee, Penn State, Auburn, Flori...

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Daily Fascist's Kate Middleton stories "loadaoldbollox" - royal cops

Funny story: Daily Fascist's Kate Middleton stories "loadaoldbollox" - royal cops

Clarence House - (Ass Mess & ReUterus): Royal Protections Racket cops have slammed reports in the UK's daftass Daily Fascist tabloid rag claiming that Kate Middleton is to get the keys to Clarence House - the London home of the Pretender...

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Dubai Scuba School Opens

Funny story: Dubai Scuba School Opens

City of Dubai: His Majesty, Sheikh Rashid bin Saeed Al Maktoum, The Ruler of Dubai, opened the new multi-million dollar Scuba School of Dubai, to all the fanfare and celebration normally associated with the opening of a new Palace.

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Countrywide Bank sponsors surprise 5K marathon for its customers; denies a run on its deposits

Funny story: Countrywide Bank sponsors surprise 5K marathon for its customers; denies a run on its deposits

New York, New York - A spokesman for Countrywide Bank denied last Friday's line of customers outside its branch offices, withdrawing their deposits, was a run on their bank, but rather a 5K marathon they forgot to announce it was sponsoring to ke...

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Disgraced ex-spook Shayler slams Pat Robertson's Hurricane Dean claims

Funny story: Disgraced ex-spook Shayler slams Pat Robertson's Hurricane Dean claims

Barking Kabbalah Center, London - (Rabid Bonkers Press): Disgraced ex-spook David Shayler has hotly refuted claims that the Reverend Pat Robertson is personally responsible for directing the course of Hurricane Dean, as reported by The Spoof'...

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Alaska congressman Don Young investigated over collapsed Minneapolis I-35 bridge construction

Funny story: Alaska congressman Don Young investigated over collapsed Minneapolis I-35 bridge construction

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Alaska's Representative Don Young, who is under investigation for taking campaign $$$s in return for securing $10 million for construction of a proposed Florida highway ramp, is also being probed by FBI sources about t...

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Edward VIII returns from dead, demands Crown back

Funny story: Edward VIII returns from dead, demands Crown back

The U.K. was thrown into something of a tizzy today by the unexpected return of King Edward VIII from the grave. To make matters even more bothersome, His Late Majesty demanded to be reinstalled on the Throne as King.

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"Us Weekly" Will Now Contain Only Pop-Up Pictures

Funny story: "Us Weekly" Will Now Contain Only Pop-Up Pictures

In an effort to outdo its competition in the fashion-centric, highly visual world of entertainment news, "Us Weekly" magazine will now contain only large, cardboard, pop-up pictures of celebrities, and will contain no text whatsoever. The...

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Ron Paul Sweeps Alabama and New Hampshire Polls in Upset Wins

Funny story: Ron Paul Sweeps Alabama and New Hampshire Polls in Upset Wins

TUSCALOOSA (FMLiveWire) -- Congressman Ron Paul has just swept two straw polls, and won the West Alabama Republican Assembly 2007 Presidential Preference Straw Poll on August 18 with 81% of the votes.

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Gay/Lesbian group pleads with Britney: Get back into the Closet or stay a Breeder, please!

Funny story: Gay/Lesbian group pleads with Britney: Get back into the Closet or stay a Breeder, please!

Hollywood, California - With the recent rumored sexual romp with her assistant, Shannon Funk, Britney is now facing allegations regarding her sexual reorientation, which has a Gay/Lesbian group pleading with her to go back into the 'closet' o...

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Peter Fox held for murder

Funny story: Peter Fox held for murder

(Hollywood, CA) Peter Fox, co-star on the popular FoxTrot Sunday comic strip, is being held on $1 million bond in the death of younger brother Jason.

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Dear Shreddies; an Angry Letter.

Am I the only one outraged at Shreddies latest advertising display?...

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The Latest in Wireless Technology

Funny story: The Latest in Wireless Technology

We had the cordless phone. Then we had the wireless bra. Then came Blue-Tooth technology. Then it was wireless internet. Now it's the wireless parachute!...

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Jenna Bush Provides Successful Distraction From Melting Artic Ice Caps

Funny story: Jenna Bush Provides Successful Distraction From Melting Artic Ice Caps

August 18, 2007 - In a final masterstroke of genius, outgoing puppet master and Republican dark lord, Karl Rove, orchestrated the engagement of Jenna Bush and Henry Hager.

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Lord Deedes: a personal tribute to the writer, drinker and stinker

Funny story: Lord Deedes: a personal tribute to the writer, drinker and stinker

London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): From queen mudder's personal diaries 1963-2001...

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Petraeus suspected of dumping missile in Florida's gun amnesty

Funny story: Petraeus suspected of dumping missile in Florida's gun amnesty

Orlando, Florida - (Rioters): General David H Petraeus, commander of the Multi-National Force in Iraq, is the prime suspect in the dumping of a surface-to-air missile launcher at gun amnesty in the city of Orlando.

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Blair recruits JK Rowling to ghostwrite official memoir

Funny story: Blair recruits JK Rowling to ghostwrite official memoir

London - (Ass Mess): Ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair has turned to literary thief, plagiarist and serial fraudster JK Rowling to help ghostwrite his autobiography after Downing Street source material diaries were barred from release by the Metropolita...

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J.K. Rowling Sued By Harry Potter Actors For Breach of Contract

Funny story: J.K. Rowling Sued By Harry Potter Actors For Breach of Contract

Actors Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson have sued writer J.K. Rowling for breach of contract. The three, stars of the five Harry Potter movies, claim that their acting careers will likely end in two or three years after the last book...

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J.K. Rowling Working on Writing New Novel

Funny story: J.K. Rowling Working on Writing New Novel

J.K. Rowling, author of the highly successful Harry Potter series, has begun writing her first non-Harry novel. She has been spotted working on the manuscript in Edinburgh cafes and libraries. Rowling, who has dominated the best seller lists and is...

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Statues cause protests in London

Funny story: Statues cause protests in London

Protests have been held in London to campaign against a series of statues of Gordon Brown's head which have been put up around London as part of a PR campaign to make the "Not the dour Scotsman" more widely accepted.

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BBC2's "Hyperdrive" so funny - causes viewer's head to explode

Funny story: BBC2's "Hyperdrive" so funny - causes viewer's head to explode

There have been calls from viewers' groups to ban BBC2's sci-fi series "Hyperdrive" because it is "too funny". As a result of such extreme japery, some viewers have experienced accidents. One man l...

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Kevin Rudd visits strip club, polls soar

Funny story: Kevin Rudd visits strip club, polls soar

Australia, Sydney (The Lies) - Leader of the opposition Kevin Rudd has admitted to visiting "Scores" of strip clubs throughout his visits to the United States of America. A Opposition of Foreign Affairs spokesman at the time, he has reporte...

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CIA and Vatican take on Wikipedia

Funny story: CIA and Vatican take on Wikipedia

Washington D.C. (The Lies) - Reports from our uber hacker nerds have stated that the CIA and the Vatican have, for the past five years, tried to take out the world's biggest encyclopedia, Wikipedia.

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Hells Angel murder solved by group of kids and talking dog

Funny story: Hells Angel murder solved by group of kids and talking dog

What has come to be known as the infamous "Hells Angels Ghost Killer case" has finally been solved, to the relief of police and other Hells Angels.

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"Edward is straight" claims Sunday newspaper.

Funny story: "Edward is straight" claims Sunday newspaper.

In an interview due to be published in The Sunday Times tomorrow, Gay Prince Edward makes a confession that will stun his family, the theatre world, his long term lover Steve Richardson but most of all his wife, the ridiculously horny Sophie Rhys-Jon...

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Jimmy Connors To Be Implanted In Andy Roddick's Head

Funny story: Jimmy Connors To Be Implanted In Andy Roddick's Head

New York, NY - In a last ditch effort to help Andy Roddick improve his game, Jimmy Connors was today shrunk to microscopic size and implanted in Andy's head. He will spend most of his time in the lens of Roddick's right eye, with a wireless m...

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New Group To Promote Rights of Drug-Gun Owners

Funny story: New Group To Promote Rights of Drug-Gun Owners

In a joint press release earlier this week, the American Pharmaceutical Association (APhA) and the American Psychiatirc Association (APA) announced that they are joining forces to create a new group to advance the interests of psychiatrists who want...

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Naked Britney Spears Says It Was Only Skinnydipping, Not Lesbian Sex

Funny story: Naked Britney Spears Says It Was Only Skinnydipping, Not Lesbian Sex

Britney Spears, accused of being a lesbian by OK! Magazine, says that she was only skinnydipping in a pool with a former female assistant. "Yeah," said the Pop tart. "we was both naked in the water. She only had her arms around me cuz we was in the...

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"Paper, Scissors, Stone" started Iraqi War admits Blair.

Funny story: "Paper, Scissors, Stone" started Iraqi War admits Blair.

In a story that will shake the very foundations of Western Democracy, ex British Prime Minister, Tony Blair admitted that the decision to go to war with Iraq was based on a simple game of "Paper, Scissors, Stone".

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Duracell Announces New Battery for Sex Toys

Funny story: Duracell Announces New Battery for Sex Toys

Duracell, a Procter and Gamble subsidiary, announced Monday that it has developed a new battery technology. The company has been a leader in Lithium Manganese Dioxide batteries, and the new battery builds on that chemistry. The tech...

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Boffin feels a right tit

US research boffin, Dr Derek Lambeth, has just received US$3 Million US government funding to carry out research into breasts.

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Does Laura take it up the Guantanamo Bay?

Funny story: Does Laura take it up the Guantanamo Bay?

Beautiful Laura Bush, until now the embodiment of grace and 1920's femininity, today rocked the American establishment by inadvertently suggesting that she indulges in 'Chocolate Tunnel Sex ' with half wit hubbie, George.

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Britney Spears "Outed" by Magazine Claiming She's A Lesbian

Funny story: Britney Spears "Outed" by Magazine Claiming She's A Lesbian

Pop tart Britney Spears has been outed by a recent Hollywood magazine that claims the singer/former mousketeer/troubled divorcee is gay. The magazine shows a cover picture of a topless Britney in a swimming pool with another woman hugging her around...

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