Frame and Glass Make a Spectacle of Themselves

Funny story written by david alsatian

Sunday, 5 August 2007

image for Frame and Glass Make a Spectacle of Themselves

FORMER Aztec Camera frontman Roddy Frame and Dunfermline winger Stephen Glass disgraced themselves across Glasgow last night in a shameful show of drunken tomfoolery.
On-lookers were stunned by the debauched behaviour of the celebrity duo as they embarked on a 20-hour bender across the city's clubs and bars.

The pair have formed a close friendship since first meeting at the BBC's Aberdeen studio for 1997's Children In Need show, where they sat together in a bath of baked beans for twelve hours to raise money for Aberdonian orphans.

But it was booze that was strictly on the menu last night and ragged-clothed children would have been far from impressed as the drunken pair left a trail of destruction all the way from Kelvinside to the city centre.

The sozzled pair started their session at the trendy Oblimov Bar on Great Western Road, a favoured haunt of Eighties songsmith Frame, who lives in a studio apartment nearby. Dunfermline winger Glass left his car, an F-Reg Vauxhall Cavalier, outside and the drinking began in earnest.

Stunned Oblimov barman, former Rangers keeper Jesper Christiansen, said: 'Stephen's glass was certainly never half empty. He swanned in and ordered two bottles of champagne, then Frame appeared at the bar and ordered another two pints PLUS a couple of sambucas.'

They stayed in Oblimov for three hours, continuing at the same rapid pace, before moving onto student haunt Curlers on Byers Road.Things then turned nasty when Frame took exception to the lack of Aztec Camera material on the jukebox and endlessly badgered shocked barman Ralf Hughdown by shouting: 'Have youse bastards no even got Somewhere in My Heart?'

Glass by this stage had angered management by ripping the baize on both the establishment's pool tables and refused to honour 30 pounds worth of bets with local student Horatio Galfoirer.
The 20-year-old from Helinsborough said: 'This chap was getting quite violent and his behaviour was most ungentlemanly.'

Similar chaotic scenes were played out at 10 other bars in the city centre before the duo moved to trendy nightspot The Garage. Frame and Glass angered punters by storming to the front of the queue to gain entry and garage regulars Anna Adams and Katie Hendry were far from amused.
Ms Adams said: 'Just because they're celebrities, these wankers think they can get preferential treatment. I had to stand outside for another 10 minutes because of them and I missed out on 50 pence shooters during happy hour. They're my favourite.'

Once inside Frame and Glass continued their bad behaviour and their night ended abruptly at 2.30am when they were thrown out after a brawl with local lad Steven Donn, 25.

Donn said: 'I'm not a violent man but when Frame wouldn't stop going on about how close together my eyes were, I just snapped.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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