Mr Ernest Liar from the British Society of Morris Dancing has finally admitted what we all thought, Morris Dancing has never been a fertility dance at all.
'We have looked into the history of the tradition' said Mr Liar, 'and at no point does it say it is a fertility dance. In the seventeenth century it was made up as an excuse and a reason for Men to dress up in bells and tassles and hit sticks whilst dancing in public. Before it was only seen as a day out for the inmates, or for people who were scared of getting splinters from the stocks'.
We were going to asking Morris Men what they thought, but the Beards, the sticks, and the bells put us right of doing so.