Brown admits Poppy production policy

Funny story written by Kent Pete

Sunday, 5 August 2007

image for Brown admits Poppy production policy
Honest as the day is long

United Nations drug officials say the new Afghan Government has largely failed in its efforts to eradicate the opium poppy crop.

A UN spokesman, Hector Maletta, said a government campaign, launched in April, had had a very limited impact.

The Taliban banned poppy cultivation in 2000. and the UN and US drug agencies say that this meant an almost total halt to opium growing in the 2001 season.

It was the US-led war that ousted the Taliban last year, that prompted Afghan farmers to plant the opium poppy again over tens of thousands of hectares.

Conspiracy theorist Michael Dunne from Beckenham in Kent argues that it is a deliberate attempt on behalf of Western Governments to keep the price of street heroin low, thus greatly reducing major crime in European cities.

In a surprisingly frank interview, Prime Minister Gordon Brown told our reporter, "Of course we want to keep the masses stoned out of their boxes. What serious minded government wouldn't? If they ever got wind of what we were really up to there would be revolution on the streets and I don't want that happening in Britain until I'm retired and living in my hideaway in Cape Town, South Africa."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more