There were 595 spoof news stories published in 2003. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to browse the spoof news archives.
Vader spanked Japanese woman
Intergalactic hussy, Darth Vader, appeared in court on Tuesday charged with indecently spanking a japanese woman. The incident, recreated in the picture shown here, is said to have undergone surgery after one lightsaber strike too many.
Read full storyPeter Stringfellow to Loan Libido
Peter Stringfellow is to loan his libido to Japan in an attempt to halt it's declining birth rate, it was announced yesterday.
Read full storyHulk Porn Greeted With Bad Press
NEW YORK CITY-Comic book legend Stan Lee announced that the release of Marvel's new adult movie ‘Hulk In The Pants' will be delayed due to the string of bad press the unreleased movie has already received from critics.
Read full storyReality Scoop - Trista and Ryan's Divorce
Citing irreconcilable bank accounts, Trista and Ryan of 'The bachelorette' fame have filed for divorce just weeks after their on-TV wedding.
Read full storyMichael Jackson to be in Fourth Harry Potter movie
LONDON, ENGLAND- Warner Bros. announced a new addition to the cast of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire today. Michael Jackson was recently added to be the voice of the House Elf, Winky.
Read full storyTimmy Mallet - Chick Boy O.B.E
Legendary children's television presenter, leading musician and heroin addict Timmy Mallet (real name Timothy Mallet) attended Buckingham palace today to receive an OBE for his outstanding work in recruiting transsexuals in Dorset.
Read full storyPrince Charles & His Butler - The Full Exclusive!
In an exclusive interview with ex-royal footman, Mr. George Smith, The Spoof has the full story on Prince Charles and what he got up to with his former butler Michael Fawcett.
Read full storyPrince Charles to Marry Gay Bishop
The Prince of Wales and Bishop Gene Robinson have ended weeks of speculation with the sudden announcement that they are to be married.
Read full storyTeletubbies under FBI investigation
Favourite show to kids and adults alike, the Teletubbies are currently under FBI investigation due to allegations of releasing national security information to terrorist organisations and underworld cultists.
Read full storyCharles Manson Released From Prison
A California Judge has ordered the immediate release of Charles Manson from prison. Manson was serving a life sentence after he was convicted of seven counts of first-degree murder almost 35 years ago.
Read full storyPrince Charles's Servant Finds Royal Wormhole
The troubled ‘apprentice-king' hit the headlines again, yesterday, when an ex-servant revealed intimate details of a royal wormhole that he had experienced.
Read full storyMickey Mouse suffers Massive Stroke on Birthday!
A sad day for the Disney fans everywhere. On the morning of Mickey's 75th birthday, he was the victim of a massive stroke. The extent of the damage is not yet known but Goofy was overheard saying that "Old Mick" was slurring his words...
Read full storyLonely-Hearts ads to become entirely acronyms
Lonely-Hearts adverts that you may see at the back of any tabloid newspaper or magazine, are set to become even more cryptic. Many tabloid newspapers have released a statement to the effect that all adverts will become entirely acronym based, in orde...
Read full storySixth Harry Potter book to be X-rated
Bloomsbury has only just announced that the sixth Harry Potter book, the name revealed to be "Harry Potter and the Bondage of Volemort" is to be X-rated. The announcement is set to devastate millions of youngsters across the world.
Read full storyEurovision Thong Contest
Following the humiliating 'nul points defeat in the Eurovision Song Contest, the cunning British have changed the rules to make the competition fairer.
Read full storyMichael Jackson Verdict
NEVERLAND RANCH -- After a tolling and restless trial, Michael Jackson was found unanimously innocent by the Los Angeles Superior Court on Thursday afternoon. Standing arm-in-arm with his lawyer, Michael bid a fond greeting complete with silly laugh...
Read full storyRowling 'can't be arsed' to write next Harry Potter book
JK Rowling has declared that she "can't be arsed" to write the next Harry Potter book.
Read full storyTV Talk: Trista Pregnant, Ryan Furious
Confirming circulating rumors that have been the buzz of the underground reality TV circuit, Trista (of "The Bachelorette" and "Trista & Ryan's Wedding" fame) has confirmed that she is indeed with child... and it's NOT Rya...
Read full storyFred Dibnah Creates World's First Steam-Powered Sex Toy
In an exclusive interview with TheSpoof.com, steam guru, Mr. Fred Dibnah, has revealed his latest contraption, the worlds first steam powered sex-toy.
Read full storyComing Soon: Survivor 9
Earlier today, CBS President Les Moonves announced that with the Fall 2004 season, there would be some "big changes" to the format of their wildly popular "Survivor" program. CBS announced earlier this year that it would be airing the 8th Survivor, "...
Read full storyKermit The Frog Endorses Howard Dean
Montpelier Vermont: In a speech to save the nations wet lands, entertainer Kermit The Frog announced that he will back former Vermont Governor Howard Dean's bid for the 2004 Democratic nomination.
Read full storyTom Hanks A Violent Drunk, Friends Say
The most beloved personality of our generation seems to have a hidden dark side according to those close to him. Tom Hanks (not to be confused with Tom Cruise) apparently can't control his emotions once he has partaken of adult beverages.
Read full storyCradle of Filth to be Christmas Number 1
The latest UK music singles sales figures suggest that Death Metal band Cradle of Filth are on course for their first Christmas number 1.
Read full storyJapanese Sex Relief
In a bid to irradicate stress from the workplace, Japanese bosses have ordered their workforce to have designated sex-breaks during the day to keep levels of stress to an absolute minimum.
Read full storyTaco Bell Dog Enters Rehab
Los Angeles California Former Taco Bell spokesman "Guapo El Perro" checked into the Betty Ford clinic today for treatment related to alcohol abuse. Mr. El Perro's agent Joseph Camel stated that hard times have fallen on the once beloved mascot in the years since his contract with Taco Bell was dropped. "Mr. El Perro is commited to winning his battle with alcoholism and...
Read full storyUS Launches Attack on Iceland
In a shocking speech early this morning, President of America George Bush announced that the American army would be launching an attack on Iceland. The world looks on as America once again makes an attack on an opponent that is not fully equipped to...
Read full storyBringing Home The Bacon
Miss Piggy is set to give birth to triplets in the new year, our story comes straight from Hollywood.
Read full storyMatrix 4 in the Pipeline
The Wachowski Bros. are reported to be in the late stages of writing the script for a continuing episode to their Matrix series. Titled, "Beginnings", Matrix 4 depicts the build up to the rise of the machines against the human race and is a...
Read full storyEwan McGregors Nude Scene: the LONG story
Ewan McGregors latest nude scene in his latest movie "Young Adam" has been cut out of the US version, because his "penis is too long" and "disgraces the presidents flava"...
Read full storyMichael Jackson arrested for thinking about his childhood
Crazy popstar, Michael Jackson, has been arrested this morning in relation to findings made during the search on his Neverland ranch. Jackson, 45, was taken into custody without any signs of struggle other than his torn clothes and bloodied face.
Read full storyCharlie's Angels 3: Prince Charles to become movie star
Latest buzz from Hollywood is that the Prince of Wales, Charles Windsor, is set to star alongside Diaz, Liu and Barrymore in the next installment of the Charlie's Angels series.
Read full storyFather Christmas 'lazy and fat' says Mrs. Christmas
Mrs Christmas' latest tirade against her husband has sparked interest amongst media moguls and advertising men. The portly old lady has criticised her husband for being 'lazy and fat'. Mr Christmas (also known as 'Father' Christma...
Read full storyRichie Rich Caught on Gay Party Tape
The aristocratic community was stunned today when a video tape surfaced depicting "poor little rich boy" Richie Rich using drugs heavily and engaging in homosexual acts.
Read full storyQueen in shock after Bush faux pas
LONDON - George W Bush was given a frosty reception at Buckingham Palace last night - after the US president mistook the Queen for her late mother.
Read full storyMick Jagger Turns Down Knighthood
In a stunning announcement, Mick Jagger, erstwhile gigolo and frontman for the Rolling Stones, declared that he would not be accepting his MBE (knighthood) from the Queen unless he could "shag some Royal arse anytime he pleases."...
Read full storyMarvel Gives Green Light to "Solomon Grundy" Movie
Marvel Enterprises announced today that in its desperate attempt to make a summer blockbuster out of every single comic book character they own they have decided to begin production on a "Solomon Grundy" movie.
Read full storyIs The US Flag Satanistic?
Yes, it is true. Our beloved American flag, which has been gazed lovingly upon by many a patriotic American, is indeed a complex pattern incorporating more Satanistic symbols than the T-shirts worn by six hundred and sixty-six crazed Ozzy Osbourne fa...
Read full storyA New Alternative to Fossil Fuels?
Several days ago eyewitnesses at a Californian dock caught a glimpse of what appeared to be a man producing fire from his hiney-hole!...
Read full storyPeter Parker took naked pictures of my wife
When I first beat the shit out of Peter Parker, it felt good. He'd been spying on us for a while, taking snapshots on the streets, up the stairwell to our apartment, even from outside the apartment window - and we live on the forty-second floor! God knows how he got out there... But yeah, I ripped into the son of a bitch outside McDonalds. He was taking a photo of me eating a Bac...
Read full storyNuclear Incident Blamed on Gamer
Shock and awe in the White House today as one of America's nuclear warheads went on its merry way to China. A gamer playing Command & Conquer: Generals online launched a nuclear weapon on the game, which unfortunately triggered a real nuclear str...
Read full storyWhite House Unveils Global Warming PR Campaign
Washington DC: Responding to worldwide criticism of its environmental policies, the Bush Administration has announced a new public information and awareness campaign entitled "Beyond Kyoto: A New Look At Global Warming."...
Read full storyFreephone Numbers Are The New Sex Chatlines
Bernard Blunt, a sad loner, boasted to his mates about a whole new world that had opened up for him.
Read full storyWilly Wonka Accused of Sweatshop Practices
Willy Wonka, that crazy singing king of candy, was accused Wednesday of putting Oompa Loompa children to work in his famous chocolate factory and abusing them.
Read full storyTimberlake Loves to Stroke his One-Eyed Trousersnake
Justin 'Cuddly-Buns' Timberlake has revealed his hidden secret: he has a three-foot trousersnake. Pop star and all-round bad-boy type Justin admitted to teen magazine 'Just Hit Puberty' that he is the proud owner of a 36 Inch beast, w...
Read full storyMichael Jackson: Sexiest Man Alive
People Magazine announced today its' selection for its' yearly Sexiest Man Alive---Michael Jackson.
Read full storyTom Cruise Cured of Dyslexia
American Superstar Tom Cruise has been cured of Dyslexia, Tokyo General Hospital announced recently.
Read full storySaddam Hussein: Game for a Laugh
Saddam Hussein today revealed that he was just in the dictatorship business for a laugh and didn't mean anyone any harm, really.
Read full storyMichael Jackson's Obsession With Children: The Truth
Michael Jackson has revealed that his obsession with children is not sexual in nature, but is instead linked to his desire to remain "forever young". The forty-five year old singer, once a child star himself, is said to be devastated by the...
Read full storyYardies Gangs Get Tough Love From Tough Babies
In the never ending fight against the drug trafficking, shootings and general brutalities of Yardie crime gangs, police are now facing the fact that lawful tactics have failed. This has led to the formation of a vigilante gang of tough tattooed infan...
Read full storyNoel Edmonds to Bid for Conservative Leadership
Poor quality entertainer and all round c-list celebrity, Noel Edmonds, has begun a campaign to become leader of the Conservative Party.
Read full storyGhost Porn hits the net - it's everywhere!
Ghost pornography is the latest internet craze that's unlikely to go down well in your local church. But according to internet expert Mark Thomson, its popularity is rising: "Ghost porn is a fairly strange phenomena - if you'll excuse th...
Read full storyRonald McDonald Is Loving It!
The fast food chain McDonalds was shocked yesterday as it's most famous icon, Ronald McDonald, was charged with downloading offensive images from the internet. His laptop, pictured above, was confiscated pending a police investigation. The clow...
Read full storyKylie video-game set to be smasher!
Rage software have released details of their upcoming game, "Kylie: Unleashed!". The game, set to release on X-Box, PS2 and Game Cube, stars diminutive popstrel Kylie Minogue and is said to be mostly about her arse.
Read full storyKeanu Reeves Home Raided For Animal Endangerment
Early Tuesday morning the Los Angeles County sheriffs department raided actor Keanu Reeves' Hollywood estate. The raid took place after an anonymous tip made the week before. Reeves was taken out in hand cuffs and animal control officers carted off d...
Read full storyMichael Jackson escapes from police
Dangerous kiddie-snaffler Michael Jackson has escaped from custody today, and made off with an Ice Cream van which he plans to use to lure children into his clutches.
Read full storyStupid Slogans
You know, there is an advertising slogan so illogical and frustrating that I cannot and will not allow it to go uncritiqued anymore (I have been losing sleep over this). It is for a certain chain of restaurants here in America (maybe started abroad). The restaurant is Outback Steakhouse and it's slogan is — No Rules, Just Right.
Read full storyTerror alert system gets new "lavender" color: Chertoff's family worried
Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff announced yesterday that the five colors on the terror alert scale just aren't enough, and plans to add a sixth color - lavender - to the list. The new color is to be put between white, or "nor...
Read full storyCrackle, of famed trio Snap, Crackle, and Pop, dies
Crackle, of the famed trio that graced Rice Krispie boxes for decades, has passed away, a company spokesman said today.
Read full storyWelsh admit, "Our language is a scam"
Today the Welsh Assembly confirmed long held suspicions - that the Welsh language is only there to piss the English off.
Read full storyAndy Capp Arrested for Domestic Violence
Andy Capp was arrested early this morning for allegedly severely beating his wife, Flo, with a billiard cue.
Read full storySexed-Up Dossier : Exclusive
TheSpoof.com has acquired exclusive access to the fully "sexed-up" dossier, as amended by Alistair Campbell MP.
Read full storyBeef farmer finds wife in bed with prize heifer
Beef farming, the latest vogue in farming circles, has turned one happy farmer's long love affair with the business, in to one big nightmare.
Read full storyBeing Drunk Just More Fun, Geopolitical Study Finds
CONNECTICUT-Yale University released the findings of its three-year long and much debated study on the popularity of drinking yesterday. Dr Bradley Denton, chief researcher and professor at the university, released the results to the public at a pres...
Read full storyHigh Street Stores to Create Designer Babies
It has been revealed that high street stores will be able to create designer babies. High street stores, Marks and Spencer, Debenhams and GAP will be offering customers the chance to have a baby while you shop.
Read full storyNo more nonsense sayings: it confuses the thicks
It has been announced today that people will be banned from saying things that dont make sense. The proposed penalty for such an offence will be a sharp greeting from Mr. Truncheon, followed by a swift frog march down to spend some time at Her Majest...
Read full storyMcDonalds To Introduce New 'Meat' Burger
NEW YORK-Announced today for the first time, McDonald's revealed its plans to incorporate a new 'McMeat Burger' into its menu. "We set out on this project looking to create a product that the average concerned carnivore would want to consume," said J...
Read full storyDead man refuses to comment on tax-evasion
Jeff Blake, 143, has refused to comment to journalists on his apparently scandelous attempts at tax-evasion. Jeff, who died at age 82, is being investigated by US detectives for his non-compliance.
Read full storyKeith Richards Arrested For Turning 60
Sussex- Rolling Stones Guitarist Keith Richards has been arrested on charges of "turning 60 without dying yet."...
Read full storyBelgium Sucks
According to a new poll, Belgium is the world's most boring country. Belgian ministers are said to be shocked by the revelation and they have attempted to defend their country.
Read full storyTennis Craze Hits UK Pubs
As is usual at this time of year the tennis craze has hit the UK hard, with the Queens and Wimbledon tournaments making the brits literally drool whilst watching in an often comatose and inebriated state. Pubs have been quick to latch on to this craz...
Read full storyNuns Get Sexy Aguilera Habits
The Pope was visibly excited yesterday when he had an audience with nuns wearing daring Christina Aguilera outfits.
Read full storyBush to Saddam: "You've been punk'd!"
WASHINGTON D.C.-In what was revealed yesterday as the biggest prank in the history of the world, President Bush made an announcement to former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein: "You've been punk'd, bitch!"...
Read full storyQueer Eye For That Saddam Guy
The Bravo Network is announcing that it has shot and will air an episode of its highly popular reality TV program in which some gay men do a total makeover on a needy heterosexual male.
Read full storyGillette Introduces Mach-12 Razor
NEW YORK-In retaliation to Shick's new Quattro four-bladed razor, Gillette decided to up the ante by introducing the new Mach-12. "Those guys thought they would out-do us with their puny four blades," said Gillette spokesperson Ron Garret, "but I'd l...
Read full storyPope says 'yes' to flavoured condoms
Pope John Paul II has advocated the used of flavoured condoms after Vatican researchers discovered they are technically classified as ‘novelty toys' rather than contraceptives.
Read full storyCannabis goes Metric
Agriculture: Cannabis is to join the rest of the organic vegetable world today and go Metric.
Read full storyDavid Blaine Claims His Feet Are Killing Him
David Blaine,the top escapologist and yoga expert, made legal history when he became the first person to get his feet convicted of attempted murder.
Read full storyPenguins - I hates 'em!
I don't really know what it is that I truly loathe about Penguins. I think it's partially due to comments like: "Awww...but the itty-bitty pengy-win is sooo cute!". Hmmm - you have to worry about comments like that. Given half the chance, that penguin would have you on your back, spreading your liver across a Ritz cracker before you could say "Mary Poppins". I gu...
Read full storyGiant cheque businesses face tricky period
The giant cheque business is allegedly about to go bust. With the two main events of the year which see a dramatic climb in sales now over with the industry is going to have to weather the storm.
Read full storyThe real deal on food
A.A. Gill is a damn liar. 'The Sunday Times' columnist has, for many years now, fooled the nation's broadsheet-buying public into thinking that he was a food critic. Fools! "Gill" (if, I very much doubt, that is his real name) can now be exposed as the fraud that he truly is. For while the words underneath his name may say 'Food Critic', have you ever actual...
Read full storyDusty Bin to become gay icon
3-2-1's most famous asset - the Bin - has been taken high upon the shoulders of self-proclaimed "gay people", and is set to become the next big thing amongst queers.
Read full storyAl Gore Caught Cross Dressing At New York Night Club!
Al Gore was caught in full "Drag" as he left The Lucky Lady Night Club off Broadway last Thursday. He claims to having taken up a job as an "exotic dancer" to cure his depression after loosing the 2000 Presidential Elections.
Read full storyNew Diet Water: Negative One Calorie
Coca Cola has announced the forthcoming release of its newest product line, Diet Water, which offers "not just zero calories---but negative one calorie" .
Read full storyUK Pop Idol show rocked by Simon Cowell's honest opinion
Popular song-singing, gameshow-without-a-game, Pop Idol, has been rocked to its foundations by claims that Simon Cowell is simply "being honest".
Read full storyGeorge W. Bush's Long, Lost Twin Found!
In Washington yesterday, President George W. Bush was reunited with his long, lost twin brother, Greg, William Baker (Bush). For years it had been a secret in the Bush family that George had a twin.
Read full storyMussolini's granddaughter hits back at 'tosser' jibe
The granddaughter of Italy's former fascist dictator Benito Mussolini is leaving the right-wing National Alliance party - because its leader Gianfranco Fini called him a "fat, bald, murderous little tosser".
Read full storyDemi Moore splits with Kutcher after love prank
Demi Moore has sensationally split up with younger boyfriend Ashton Kutcher - after discovering that their eight month relationship was a practical joke for his TV show ‘Punk'd'.
Read full storyQuack dies in homeopathy overdose
Dr Moira Spinx, a not-at-all respected quack and practitioner of homeopathic remedies, has died after taking an overdose of Belladonna, also known as Deadly Nightshade.
Read full storyChuckle Brothers Reveal Saddam as Long Lost Brother
The Brothers from Rotherham today announced that the evil Tyrant was in fact their long lost brother. It was a painful time for the brothers as they announced that Saddam Hussein (formally Saddam Chuckle), who was adopted at birth by an Iraqi family...
Read full storyScientists Discover Ancient Gargantuan Penis
On Friday December 5th Scientists claimed to have stumbled onto the largest and oldest penis on record. The penis was not damaged.
Read full storyCeline Dion "..a French-Canadian Freak Accident.."
Scientists are working around the clock to determine what actually happened to Canuck singer Celine Dion.
Read full storyFrench war with Belgium will not go ahead, Belgian army not real.
France today backed down on its threat to go to war with Belgium after the Belgian government admitted, "Our army is fake!"...
Read full storyDisney to Open 'California Disaster' Theme Park
LOS ANGELES-Michael Eisner unveiled his plans today to remodel the failing ‘California Adventure' theme park into one which he feels more fitting and will draw a wider, more appreciative audience.
Read full storyCliff Richard Releases Late Christmas Single
Old School rock star, Sir Cliff Richard is due to release his Christmas single this Friday lagging far behind his competitors.
Read full storyBush To Eliminate Seperation of Church and State, Claims to Be "Divine"
Washington DC: Speaking from the White House Press Room, President Bush announced today that the US will do away with the notion of Church and State.
Read full storyR Kelly on career high after child sex allegations
The latest sales figures for the UK album chart suggest R & B crooner R Kelly's new album: "Chocolate Factory" is actually selling better amidst allegations that R Kelly has slept with a minor.
Read full storyWave of Fast-Food Mascot Serial Murders Has Police Baffled
A shocked fast-food community is trying to come to grips with a wave of killings that apparently is only targeting their own super star personalities.
Read full storyBritney's Sexy Christmas Tree
Sexy Britney got a pleasant surprise when he got her Christmas tree home and it began singing raunchy Spice Girls hits.
Read full storyBritney's Haunted Bra
Sex goddess, Britney Spears, astounded her fans with claims that her bra was haunted by the ghost of Elvis.
Read full story