There were 55 spoof news stories published in July 2003. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Vader spanked Japanese woman

Funny story: Vader spanked Japanese woman

Intergalactic hussy, Darth Vader, appeared in court on Tuesday charged with indecently spanking a japanese woman. The incident, recreated in the picture shown here, is said to have undergone surgery after one lightsaber strike too many.

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Peter Stringfellow to Loan Libido

Funny story: Peter Stringfellow to Loan Libido

Peter Stringfellow is to loan his libido to Japan in an attempt to halt it's declining birth rate, it was announced yesterday.

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Teletubbies under FBI investigation

Funny story: Teletubbies under FBI investigation

Favourite show to kids and adults alike, the Teletubbies are currently under FBI investigation due to allegations of releasing national security information to terrorist organisations and underworld cultists.

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Eurovision Thong Contest

Funny story: Eurovision Thong Contest

Following the humiliating 'nul points defeat in the Eurovision Song Contest, the cunning British have changed the rules to make the competition fairer.

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Fred Dibnah Creates World's First Steam-Powered Sex Toy

Funny story: Fred Dibnah Creates World's First Steam-Powered Sex Toy

In an exclusive interview with TheSpoof.com, steam guru, Mr. Fred Dibnah, has revealed his latest contraption, the worlds first steam powered sex-toy.

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Sexed-Up Dossier : Exclusive

TheSpoof.com has acquired exclusive access to the fully "sexed-up" dossier, as amended by Alistair Campbell MP.

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Saddam Hussein: Game for a Laugh

Funny story: Saddam Hussein: Game for a Laugh

Saddam Hussein today revealed that he was just in the dictatorship business for a laugh and didn't mean anyone any harm, really.

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Penguins - I hates 'em!

Funny story: Penguins - I hates 'em!

I don't really know what it is that I truly loathe about Penguins. I think it's partially due to comments like: "Awww...but the itty-bitty pengy-win is sooo cute!". Hmmm - you have to worry about comments like that. Given half the chance, that penguin would have you on your back, spreading your liver across a Ritz cracker before you could say "Mary Poppins". I gu...

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High Street Stores to Create Designer Babies

Funny story: High Street Stores to Create Designer Babies

It has been revealed that high street stores will be able to create designer babies. High street stores, Marks and Spencer, Debenhams and GAP will be offering customers the chance to have a baby while you shop.

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Potter Creator Arrested

Funny story: Potter Creator Arrested

Creator of Harry Potter, J. K. Rowling was arrested at lunch today on a charge of causing death by misadventure of a group of school children at their primary school.

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Celebrity Witchhunt - The TV Show

I demand a new reality TV show called "Celebrity Witchhunt". In the show, possibly fronted by Davina Macall, we would have two teams - Team A: made up of B-list celebrities...

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How emails can land you in trouble

Funny story: How emails can land you in trouble

The BBC have given the go-ahead for TheSpoof to create a web-documentary, studying the effects of email in the workplace and, in particular, how they can land you in hot water. We began the investigation by asking the general public in the street about any unfortunate incidents they had encountered. We quickly found that up to 25% of you had been fired from your jobs for inappropriate email...

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Grand of Duke of York on Trial

Funny story: Grand of Duke of York on Trial

At the old Bailey today, the grand old duke of york, or "Dukey" as his chums in the war office have to come to know him, is currently on trial for war crimes.

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Product Recall: FIALFA COUPE (2.0 TURBO PLUS )

It has come to our attention that the above model may be slightly unreliable, and not function as intended when we drew up the plans one sunny Italian day during a wine-soaked 4 hour lunch. Occupants are in no way at risk, but as a precaution, your car should NOT be driven. FIALFA SA and their agents are not responsible for death, serious injury or other minor inconveniences caused in the...

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Microsoft - bringing the Apocalypse closer to home

Funny story: Microsoft - bringing the Apocalypse closer to home

Psychologists have finally proved that Microsoft (hereafter known as Evil-M) are true; it really is destroying humankind as we know it. The frustration, which occurs when the computers crash, can well up, leading us to have rotten days, taking it out on others, leading to overall low morale. This can also lead to road rage, which in turn damages the environment and causes accidents, which a...

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Penguins - the verdict

Funny story: Penguins - the verdict

Recently here at TheSpoof, there has been some talk -- negative talk, I must divulge -- of a small breed of flightless Antarctic birds known as Penguins. As a distinguished and well-thought-of writer (by my mum), I feel this is an important theme which must be continued; a matter that must be discussed - and a case that, ultimately, should be closed. Therefore I have decided to proc...

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Star Wars Shocker!

Funny story: Star Wars Shocker!

Recent behind-the-scenes footage shows that there is more about the Star wars characters that meets the eye.

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Skiddy Sid discovers Arsetrology

Funny story: Skiddy Sid discovers Arsetrology

Sidney Skiddington, a top pathologist, amazed the psychic community when he revealed his amazing new method of fortune telling.

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Moto-Pez® - Mobile Phone Future

Funny story: Moto-Pez<span class=sup>®</span> - Mobile Phone Future

The vision of the future for mobile phone handsets has been revealed by Motorola today.

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Al-Jizzera Receives Shocking Video

Funny story: Al-Jizzera Receives Shocking Video

The Arab telly station Al-Jizzera received a tape believed to be from former Bullseye presenter/dictator Jim Bowen. The Americans denounced the film as "shocking, pure evil".

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Woman breaks promise about coming round the mountain

Funny story: Woman breaks promise about coming round the mountain

Shelley Bishop, 43, recently broke a promise to her nine year old niece by driving through a newly made tunnel at Stanbourne mountain, instead of 'coming round' it, as she had otherwise indicated.

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Shampoo Boycott

Shampoo is exactly what it says a sham.

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A Burney, California monster

It has come to our attention that there is an unknown 12 foot tall creature lurking in the streets of Burney, California.

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Firm sued for illegal use of Harry Potter copyright

Liverpudlian arts and crafts firm, "Harry Pottery", have...

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Saddam Hussein Never Existed

Funny story: Saddam Hussein Never Existed

In an interview with TheSpoof, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf has revealed some shocking information that has sent shockwaves throughout the world. If the infamous "Comical Ali" is to believed, Saddam Hussein, the alleged dictator, was never born...

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Hospitals see stars

The Government has published it's Star ratings for hospitals. The stars range from zero stars (this hospital is full of infections and riddled with bureacracy) to three stars (this hospital is riddled with more infections and full of mind...

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Actors Stage Indefinite Strike

Funny story: Actors Stage Indefinite Strike

Equity, the actors union, shocked the Art world by staging an indefinite strike.

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Old people aren't dying like they used to!

A strange phenomenon has gripped the western coast of Britain - a phenomenon that scientists are at pains to resolve. It appears that the elderly in the area are living forever and not snuffing it. A scientist egg-head from the University of Bristol,...

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Millionaire Wants to Win Lottery so Others Can't

G. Jeffrey Chambers III, a self-made millionaire from Palm Beach, FL, has been playing the lottery for five months now. His motives, though, are different from those of most lottery participants.

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Shakespeare had a problem with his feelings

Funny story: Shakespeare had a problem with his feelings

New evidence has emerged from documents found in the British Library, that suggest prolific and brilliant playwright, William Shakespeare was unable to smell very well.

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Hopping good for the soul

Funny story: Hopping good for the soul

Government officials are said to be considering new plans to make hopping into a national sport and past-time. Hopping has spent many years on the side-line as a childrens game in the form of hop-scotch. However, studies have shown that not only is h...

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Betty Swollock receives amusing phone call

Funny story: Betty Swollock receives amusing phone call

Until recently, the large neo-Georgian cathedral had always been the centre focus of the lovely and tiny city of Harchcaster. That is, until Roy Masterstone, 13, found an amusing entry in the local Thompson telephone directory. Roy, sat at his school...

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No More Points for NFL

Washington, D.C., July 10, 2003 -- In a stunning move National Football League commissioner Paul Tagliabue unveiled a new plan on Thursday to do away with the existing point-scoring system.

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Lara Croft - Out of the Tomb

Lara Croft has been shown on our computer screens as a large-chested, larger-than-life woman, who will stop at nothing to rob ancient tombs and monuments of their jewels and artifacts, often displayed in her gallery back home.

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Kewell move sets Liverpool alive!

Liverpool supporters and players alike are said to be heavily overestimating their chances of turning the Premier League on its head after the successful purchase of Harry Kewell. Said one Liverpudlian:...

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Black OAP dies from natural causes - racially motivated say police

An African-origin pensioner, currently not serving any time in prison despite having murdered five white children in his fifties, has died from natural causes aged 82. Police say that the death was almost certainly racially motivated as it ocurred i...

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Fun and Games End For Young Boy

Billy Jenkins had been warned by his mother on numerous occassions: "Billy, it's all fun and games until someone gets their eye poked out!" Never one to listen to his mother, 8-year old Billy continued his rambunctious ways. Now, the...

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Shock Harry Potter Revelations

Following the massively successful release of the fifth Harry Potter novel, 'The Delayed Phoenix Order', Joanne K. Roald Rune Rowling today revealed shocking new plot twists for book six. Underaged drinking, drug experimentation and teenage s...

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He Sold His Soul On Ebay

So you've got no money, no job, and nothng but a rusty old escort and your computer. Well for one man this was true untill three days ago he sold his soul on ebay.

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Lara Croft - out of the tomb part 2 - The Croft

By judging Lara's life, one would expect there to be training rooms and displays of her stolen treasures. This is true for the majority of the house, but alas her bedroom hides deeper secrets...

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God admits: "I'm Gay"

Funny story: God admits: "I'm Gay"

In an unprecedented move that has sent ripples through all denominations of the Christian faith, God, almighty creator and CEO of Christianity Inc., has officially 'come out' and admitted that he is a homosexual.

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Peter Jackson's Trip Into the Past

Peter Jackson, or Just Jackass amongst friends has made a startling revelation in the early hours of this morning concerning the epic Lord of the Rings saga.

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Gore Elected President

Nashville, TN, July 10, 2003 - Former vice president Al Gore announced plans today to abandon his bid for the nation's top office. Instead, he has been elected president of Alticor, Inc. (formerly Amway Corp.) based in Ada, Michigan.

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Archer to be released: police fear for public

Jeffrey Archer, the disgraced peer, is about to be released from prison within days. Police are warning the public, particularly old women, not to approach him. The former cabinet minister is expected to go straight to a halfway house near Buckingham...

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Church Refutes Gay Claims

Funny story: Church Refutes Gay Claims

Anglican Church officials today denied that it ‘sexed-up' the Bible to include evidence that homosexuality was wrong.

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"Fruity" language looked down upon by elderly

Funny story: "Fruity" language looked down upon by elderly

In a new survey published by the government, results have shown that the elderly tend to get upset by "fruity" or "bad" language. One elderly chap we found, agreed: "It's disgusting, all these young lads with their caps o...

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Wigan Waster's Musical Shocker

Funny story: Wigan Waster's Musical Shocker

Les, a useless no-hoper was amazed to find that a West End musical was being staged in celebration of his life.

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EXCLUSIVE - Undercover man reveals truth: Women using periods as excuse

Hot on the heels of the announcement that "Women to come with warning" is long-awaited proof that women actually feel normal during their monthly period...

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Dumbing down of TV reaches pandemic proportions (that means really really big)

Funny story: Dumbing down of TV reaches pandemic proportions (that means really really big)

Scientists today released their findings of long-term project conceived to quantify dumbing-down by the world's media.

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Henman defeated; blames opponent

Funny story: Henman defeated; blames opponent

Tim Henman, the tennis-er, has finally been defeated in this year's Wimbledon tournament. Henman, who despite not having a very good voice is UK No. 1 (sorry), has laid the blame of his hugely unexpected defeat upon the shoulders of his...

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Prescott Punishes Pregnant Prima donna's

John Prescott, the plain-speaking Deputy Prime Minister, enraged women's rights groups when he announced new laws limiting decibel levels, during childbirth.

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Harry's Haunted Underpants

Funny story: Harry's Haunted Underpants

Young Harry Brown shocked his school teacher when he told her of his haunted underpants.

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US In New Global Domination Bid

Funny story: US In New Global Domination Bid

The United States of America today revealed the next scary stage in it's plan for global domination.

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"Gruntled" man, loses his edge

Funny story: "Gruntled" man, loses his edge

Geoffrey Simmons, 34, was today stripped of his title for "Most gruntled man in the UK". Simmons is said to have lost the title after finding himself on the end of a "right royal roasting" from his wife, which happened just three...

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Foxy Hunting Outlawed

Funny story: Foxy Hunting Outlawed

The government today banned the practice of foxy hunting despite the protests of many randy yokels. The sport was banned after studies showed that the wenches, hunted in Britain since the days of King Edward the Horny, were becoming too buxom...

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