Cradle of Filth to be Christmas Number 1

Funny story written by Igor

Friday, 12 December 2003

image for Cradle of Filth to be Christmas Number 1
Jesus, apparently a c***

The latest UK music singles sales figures suggest that Death Metal band Cradle of Filth are on course for their first Christmas number 1.

'Jesus is a C***' has been re-released with a double A-Side live version of "I Raped The Virgin Mary And Hung The Bastard Chris" from their 1998 album of the same title.
The double A-side is currently outselling the Pop Idols "Merry Xmas: War is Over" 3 to 1.

Cliff Richard speaking on behalf of all Christians has condemned Cradle of Filth's 'unchristian like message' stating that: "Christmas should be a time that we give thanks to Christ for dying for our sins, not calling him a c***."
Lead singer Danny Filth defended their timely single release, reffering to Richards as "A soul-less piece of pig-shit who needs to get a good buggering from Satan."
Defending his controversial song title, Filth claimed "Jesus was a c***, as far as I'm concerned his mother got what was coming to her aswell..."

Cradle of Filth's follow up single - "Touched by Jesus, fingered by God" will be released in the new year.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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