Charles Manson Released From Prison

Funny story written by Blind Fool -••-

Thursday, 18 December 2003

image for Charles Manson Released From Prison
Shock-Rocker Marilyn Manson Says, "Oh Crap!"

A California Judge has ordered the immediate release of Charles Manson from prison. Manson was serving a life sentence after he was convicted of seven counts of first-degree murder almost 35 years ago.

The move has sparked outrage from the community at large,as well as from religious and non-religious leaders. The surviving family members of those slain by Manson and his following were distraught upon hearing the news.

His Honor Judge Apaul Freedman (D) fought off such criticism and defended his decision. "I sit up high on my lofty throne, drunk with power I yield alone. If you don't like what I have said, then you can all just go drop dead."

And people may just be dropping dead if Manson goes on another killing spree. The judge, however, did reveal a condition of Manson's release to serve as a checks-and-balances approach to curb his homicidal tendencies.

Manson is to be chained to John Hinckley, who himself has been given the gift of unsupervised visits away from the mental hospital that he has called home for more than 20 years. Hinkley was acquitted by reason of insanity for shooting then President Ronald Reagan and two federal officers outside a Washington hotel.

The incident also turned James Brady into a virtual vegetable after being shot in the head at point-blank range.

"The two will keep a good eye on each other," said Freedman. "And I gave them a stern lecture with my most serious-face look that I could give. They promised to be good, and that's good enough for me."

So at 5:00am this morning, the two court-ordered conjoined twins were dropped off at an undisclosed location with some basic provisions as directed by Judge Freedman.

Manson was given a knife for self-protection. He was also given some unidentified drugs to take to "sooth his nerves" when he felt he needed it. And lastly, he was given a walkman with a copy of The Beatles' song 'Helter Skelter' playing over and over and over again.

Hinckley was given a gun to help protect himself from Manson and his knife. Also provided was a map to a certain ranch in Crawford, Texas, as well as a perfumed-laced hand-written letter that said, "Hey there, Hinkley-poo. Presidents make me sad. Can you prove that you love me? Hugs and kisses, Jody."

Judge Freedman released himself to his chambers where he poured himself a glass of brandy, lit a cigar, and turned on the evening news.


BF Truth Nugget: John Hinckley really is getting to go home on unsupervised visits; and the judge is a Clinton appointee.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Related Funny Stories…

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more