Michael Jackson: Sexiest Man Alive

Written by Lorenzo Lee

Wednesday, 3 December 2003

People Magazine announced today its' selection for its' yearly Sexiest Man Alive---Michael Jackson.

"It was actually a last minute race to the finish for Mr. Jackson," commented Pierce Brosnan, last year's winner of the coveted title.

Other candidates for the title were: Osama Bin Laden, Charles Bronson, Robert Palmer, Jude Law, and Johnny Cash.

Criteria for the selection of the title Sexiest Man Alive is not clear, but it was definitely "the people's choice," noted Brosnan, "especially the youth sector." Children play an important role in the sales of People Magazine, a recent demographic sales analysis revealed.

Jackson, award-winning performer and donor to numerous surgeon institutions, only had one thing to say: "I am not guilty."

The estates of Charles Bronson and Robert Palmer are planning a joint lawsuit against the magazine, complaining of "unfair" practices in the selection process.

The special issue of People's Sexiest Man Alive will hit newstands soon.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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