Sen. Ted "Dracula" Cruz has been charged by D.C. Metro Police with counterfeiting

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 31 May 2023

image for Sen. Ted "Dracula" Cruz has been charged by D.C. Metro Police with counterfeiting
"Personally I think that 'Dracula' is better looking than Cruz." -LIZ CHENEY

Vox Populi reporter Tapioca Swizzle has just broken the story that Guatemala-born Sen. Teodorofellio Pancito Juanito "Dracula" Cruz was booked on counterfeiting charges.

Cruzy, as his urologist calls him, denies the charges saying that it is all just a case of the Dems trying to get him deported back to Tres Tortillas, Guatemala.

Teodorofellio adamantly denies the charges saying that ever since he was a little boy of six, playing in the banana fields of Guatemala, he has been allergic to ink.

He stressed that when he gets near ink he breaks out in hives that look like strawberry Pop Tarts.

Meanwhile, Donald J. Trump, who hates Cruz more than he hates his hemorrhoids, replied that he heard years ago from "Moscow" Mitch McConnell that Cruz dabbled in illegally printing 50 dollar bills.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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