The Summer of Gove
Following lousy news, all week here is something to give you a sleep-less night. Michael Gove has an opinion, and sadly, like Donald Trump's, it would seem that it matters. Most famous as the husband of a Daily Mail 'writer', and the real-life...
Read full storyBand Regretting name change
Theodore Smythe, lead singer, and Raif Winstanley, of popular Heavy Metal band, Nettle Sting, are regretting their name change. This time last year the band were known as Covid-19, but it was felt that their name was holding them back. However, th...
Read full storyAll this year's clothing trends lined up to be next year's clothing trends
Fashion expert Tinsel Walsingham is claiming that due to Covid-19 all of 2020's fashion trends will now become 2021's fashion trends instead. The foolishly-named blogger said, 'It seems to me that all of the clothes will have already been made, so...
Read full storyNurses get the clap from grateful patients
In a moment of national dignity, nurses and other NHS workers, who have been selflessly working flat out in this time of crisis, were warmly given the clap by grateful patients. One male patient said, "When she saw me struggling to breathe through...
Read full storyStop Trump Bashing
Stop Trump-bashing, folks. Quit picking on Donald Trump for messing up a pandemic. What did you expect? Smarts? It isn’t as though the smarts train left the station, the smarts train never made it to the station. He always made things up. Even wh...
Read full storyMelania Trump Anagram Competition Announced
There was great excitement across the whole of America last night, and the Fox News switchboard was jammed, as hordes of callers started to phone the station with their 'Melania Trump Anagram Competition' submissions, and there were some interesting...
Read full storyCat Wishing you would all just leave
Cats all over the country are now wishing you would all just leave. Tiddles Smith. an 11-year-old Tabby, told us, 'At first, it seemed like fun, spending more time with them and the kids, but now it is just so boring. All of this stroking, and bab...
Read full storyCoronavirus Pandemic May Be Cut Short Due to Americans’ Short Attention Span
Unlike in countries like Italy and China, where the coronavirus pandemic sustained national focus for months, in the United States, the COVID-19 epidemic may be cut short due to Americans’ notoriously short attention span. “I was really into it fo...
Read full storyDonald Trump Could Become Interim Monarch Of The UK
Royal geneologists decided at an emergency meeting in London last night, that, if the worst were to happen, and the Royal Family were laid waste by the current health pandemic, then, at a pinch, and for purely a temporary period only, the US presiden...
Read full storyMan Has Gone To Live In Parallel Universe
A man who has had quite enough of his life in its current dimension, has 'upped sticks' and gone to live in a parallel universe, according to reports. Still using the same physical shell to move about in, Moys Kenwood, 56, 'willed' himself into an...
Read full storyMan Wants To Comply With Government's 2-Metre Rule, But His House Is Too Small
The government's advice about social-distancing oneself by a distance of 2 metres from the nearest person, is a sensible precaution, says one man from Hull, but he is unable to comply, as his house is too small. The man, Henry Walden, of Hull, has...
Read full storyMany of Trump's Evangelicals Now Believe He Actually Tested Positive For COVFEFE-45
JOPLIN, Missouri - An Evangelical minister who did not want his name mentioned, for fear of being burned at the stake, said that there is a lot of dissension among the ranks of the righteous brothers and sisters. He divulged that more than half of...
Read full storyPrince Harry, Meghan Markle, and Archie Are Leaving Vancouver, Canada for Good
LOS ANGELES - The former royalty couple and their baby have left the bitter cold weather of Vancouver, and are now residents of the hot weather of Los Angeles. The couple spoke with iNews Agency’s Kitty Segovia, and told her that they decided to l...
Read full storyNancy Pelosi Has Been Overheard Saying “I Am Honored To Be Your New President”
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Washington Globe-Express is reporting that an unnamed member of Nancy Pelosi’s staff has overheard her mumbling to herself, “I am honored to be your new president.” The staff member said that she, personally, has heard Miss...
Read full storyThe Latest Las Vegas Odds on Trump Getting Re-Elected
LAS VEGAS – The word from The Land of Odds is out, and it does not look very good for Old Man Trump in his bid to win a second term. National Focus Magazine is reporting that, it is no secret that businessman Trump being president makes about as m...
Read full storyCalifornia Will Soon Start Arresting Joggers
SACRAMENTO – The Governor has just informed the citizens of the great jogging state of California of a brand new law known as COVFEFE-45 DJT. The law has been named after Donald Trump, the quasi-president of the somewhat United States of America.
Read full storyMelania Trump, Director of the Nation’s “Be Best” Movement, Honors a Great Old Woman
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The country’s first lady made a very rare speaking appearance on the White House lawn. She was honoring a woman who had recently fought off three bullies who tried to steal her “Trump For King” political button. Melania told...
Read full storyMan Cuts Back To One Piece Of Toilet Paper Per Wipe
A man who is well aware of the shortage of toilet paper the country is experiencing at the moment, has told friends that he has cut back accordingly, and now only uses one square of toilet paper to wipe his arse. Myke Woodson, 56, of Hull in East...
Read full storyMan's Face Mask Robbed Off His Face
In an incident that many readers will find difficult to comprehend, a man taking his 5-minute exercise stroll around his locality yesterday, was unceremoniously robbed of his face mask. The incident occurred in the East Yorkshire city of Hull, whe...
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