WASHINGTON, D.C. – The country’s first lady made a very rare speaking appearance on the White House lawn.
She was honoring a woman who had recently fought off three bullies who tried to steal her “Trump For King” political button.
Melania told the 79-year-old woman, identified as Loretta Quillquist of Texhoma, Oklahoma, that the country needs more old women with balls like the ones she has.
Mrs. Trump, wearing a red wet suit, commented that female pioneers like Loretta traveled from the east coast and headed towards the west coast in covered wagons known as covered wagons.
She said that she has always admired those strong-willed old west pioneer women like Annie Oakley, Calamity Jane, and Amelia Earhart.
The first lady gave Loretta an elbow bump, and blurted out about how much she hates living in Washington D.C.
Melania has made it known to her husband, the semi-president, that she wants to move out of the Pennsylvania Avenue swamp, and back to her Trump Tower mansion.
She commented to Loretta that, when she gets old, she wants to be just like her; short, feisty, and with blue eyes.
GOP anti-Trumper George Conway said that Melania texted him a few days ago and asked if her husband can be removed from office for being a total whack job.