Man's Face Mask Robbed Off His Face

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 27 March 2020

image for Man's Face Mask Robbed Off His Face
The type of mask the man wasn't wearing when he made this story up

In an incident that many readers will find difficult to comprehend, a man taking his 5-minute exercise stroll around his locality yesterday, was unceremoniously robbed of his face mask.

The incident occurred in the East Yorkshire city of Hull, when Myke Woodson, 56, decided to take advantage of the government's kind offer to allow prisoners out of their cells for 300 seconds to 'stretch their legs'.

Ambling along at a snail's pace, Woodson became aware of a scuffing of gravel behind him, and turned just in time to see a huge hand make a grab for the only protection against the Coronavirus he possessed.

The thief whipped off the mask from Woodson's mug, adeptly unhooking the elastic fastenings in one swift movement, and made off, leaving the ex-wearer stunned.

He said:

"One minute, I was thinking about the lovely morning sunshine, and the next, this thug comes up behind me and rips me mask off! Bog paper, now this. Whatever next?"

Woodson's neighbour, Betty, said:

"I saw it all, through me front window. He had that mask off in a jiffy. He's obviously a professional who's done this kind of thing before!"

Police are not investigating.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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