California Will Soon Start Arresting Joggers

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 27 March 2020

image for California Will Soon Start Arresting Joggers
Two California joggers in Sausalito getting in one last jog.

SACRAMENTO – The Governor has just informed the citizens of the great jogging state of California of a brand new law known as COVFEFE-45 DJT.

The law has been named after Donald Trump, the quasi-president of the somewhat United States of America.

California is known as the Jogging Capital of the World, and at last count, it had over 9.3 million registered joggers.

But effective at 12:01 am, anyone caught jogging on the streets, on the sidewalks, or on the hot-as-hell beaches will be taken into custody, and their jogging shoes will be given to the Left Coast Home For The Homeless.

The governor was asked if the new law would also apply to the Kardashian sisters.

He replied that state law enforcement officers will especially be keeping an eye on Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney, since the three seem to think that they are somehow above the law.

The governor stressed that the new law does not allow for any excuses such as 'I am jogging to work', since work is now officially closed.

Also, the excuse that my car, truck, motorcycle, or skateboard (check one) is in the shop, will not fly.

The California Fraternity of Joggers has vowed to fight the new law, stating that California joggers should not be penalized due to the arrogance and pathological lying nature of the nation’s leader.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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