Band Regretting name change

Written by Ben Macnair

Friday, 27 March 2020

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Oh, where is all of that beautiful heavy metal music coming from?

Theodore Smythe, lead singer, and Raif Winstanley, of popular Heavy Metal band, Nettle Sting, are regretting their name change.

This time last year the band were known as Covid-19, but it was felt that their name was holding them back. However, they didn't think that their unprepossessing musical talents, physical appearance or Raif's way with a tune were the key to their failure.

'No, it was the name,' said Smythe. 'If we kept the name of Covid-19, we would have been fine. People would have been googling our name now, and people would have seen our albums for sale on Amazon and Bandcamp, and maybe then we could have paid the record company.'

Winstanley was in the next room, aiming to be in the same ballpark as the notes, but not even getting into the same post-code.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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