Man Wants To Comply With Government's 2-Metre Rule, But His House Is Too Small

Funny story written by Mister Meaner

Friday, 27 March 2020

image for Man Wants To Comply With Government's 2-Metre Rule, But His House Is Too Small
One can only dream about what Thoreau would have said

The government's advice about social-distancing oneself by a distance of 2 metres from the nearest person, is a sensible precaution, says one man from Hull, but he is unable to comply, as his house is too small.

The man, Henry Walden, of Hull, has lived in a small farm building on the outskirts of the city for 12 years. He said:

"The space only measures six feet by six, so it's almost impossible to stay the regulation 2 metres away from people."

Not that that's a problem for Henry, though - he lives alone.

"Nobody will come anywhere near me - they think I'm a nutter."

"He's a bit of a loner," said a man living nearby. "A hermit, I suppose. He does his 'own thing', rather than conform."

Another man said:

"He's a nutter. Grows his own vegetables, has a couple of fruit trees, drinks the water from the stream, catches fish, lays traps, that sort of weird stuff that nobody does anymore."

Said Henry:

"I'll do my best to keep a 2-metre distance from people, but my house is so small, it won't be easy. I hope I won't get into trouble with the authorities. We could stand in diametrically opposite corners, I suppose."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more