Man Wants To Comply With Government's 2-Metre Rule, But His House Is Too Small

Written by Mister Meaner

Friday, 27 March 2020

image for Man Wants To Comply With Government's 2-Metre Rule, But His House Is Too Small
One can only dream about what Thoreau would have said

The government's advice about social-distancing oneself by a distance of 2 metres from the nearest person, is a sensible precaution, says one man from Hull, but he is unable to comply, as his house is too small.

The man, Henry Walden, of Hull, has lived in a small farm building on the outskirts of the city for 12 years. He said:

"The space only measures six feet by six, so it's almost impossible to stay the regulation 2 metres away from people."

Not that that's a problem for Henry, though - he lives alone.

"Nobody will come anywhere near me - they think I'm a nutter."

"He's a bit of a loner," said a man living nearby. "A hermit, I suppose. He does his 'own thing', rather than conform."

Another man said:

"He's a nutter. Grows his own vegetables, has a couple of fruit trees, drinks the water from the stream, catches fish, lays traps, that sort of weird stuff that nobody does anymore."

Said Henry:

"I'll do my best to keep a 2-metre distance from people, but my house is so small, it won't be easy. I hope I won't get into trouble with the authorities. We could stand in diametrically opposite corners, I suppose."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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