Alabama Town Fights PAN-demic

Written by Xavier Fairbanks

Friday, 27 March 2020

image for Alabama Town Fights PAN-demic
Items of concern fuel PAN-demic

In one US town, people have gone to extreme lengths to ensure their community's safety during the Coronavirus outbreak. In Horsesniffer, Alabama, piles of kitchen cookware have begun to build up at the local dumps, while they await incineration.

In a warning to citizens, mayor Karen Karenson implored her constituents to help stop the spread of the pandemic by disposing of any and all household pans or items that may appear to be pans.

"Cookie sheets, cast iron skillets, frying pans... it all needs to go, for the safety of our citizens! We cannot stress this enough!" said Karen Karenson during her March 23rd press conference.

All residents are being urged to place pans at the curbside in double plastic garbage bags. They will be picked up promptly, Friday afternoon, by town sanitation officials. Citizens in need of guidance on which items fall under the classification of pans may visit the Horsesniffer town website for further information.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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