There were 449 spoof news stories published in March 2013. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Pope Hated to Leave Behind His Red Shoes and Their Magical Powers
According to our exclusive Vatican sources, the Pope had no problem at all leaving the Vatican and the Papacy. The real issue? Having to leave behind his red shoes. You see, those glorious red shoes had provided the Pontiff with special powers...
Read full storyA Six-Year-Old Georgia Girl Predicts The Winners of NBA Basketball Games 99% of The Time
SAVANNAH, Georgia - Little six-year-old Savannah Stubenberger, who was named after her grandmother Savannah Bacardi, has become one of the town of Savannah's most famous residents. Little Savannah, who attends Mrs. Robert E. Lee Elementary School,...
Read full storyEllen DeGeneres Begs Wife Portia Not To Leave Her
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Mrs. Ellen DeGeneres AKA Portia DeRossi-DeGeneres has reportedly confessed that she is fed up with Ellen's incessant flirting. Portia, who at 40, is 15 years younger than husband Ellen, told her hair stylist FuFi Fondue that it i...
Read full storyWillie Nelson and Miley Cyrus To Star In "Marijuana Days Daze"
NEW ORLEANS - Willie Nelson performed to a standing room only crowd in the Big Easy's Voodoo Arena. After the show he was asked by Pomona Vox with Silver Screen Showcase Magazine about his new movie. Willie said that the movie titled Marijuana...
Read full storyA California Gynecologist Is Offering A Fabulous Free Offer
SHERMAN OAKS, California - Dr. Kerwin P. Differdinski, a gynecologist in Sherman Oaks, California has found a unique way to attract new customers and to keep the ones he already has. Dr. Differdinski, 43, recently stated that the number of tubal l...
Read full storyEaster Defaults; Resurrection Looks Doubtful
Brussels - The Holidays and Holy Days Panel of the European Union has canceled Easter this year due to a lack of funding. "The Almighty, and I do use that name with a high degree of bitterness, refuses to perform a Resurrection this year," said Re...
Read full storyThe Biggest Mosquito In The World
THIBODAUX, Louisiana - A Louisiana game warden, John Claude Du Croissant has reported finding a ginormous mosquito in a bayou just outside of the town of Thibodaux. The town of Thibodaux is noted for having the best crawfish étouffée in the entire...
Read full storyNina Dobrev Agrees To Appear In a Nude Vampire-Themed Calendar
LOS ANGELES - Hollywood Innuendo has just announced that the star of The Vampire Diaries Nina Dobrev has agreed to appear in a nude vampire themed calendar. HI's Fajita San Guacamole stated that Cy Cyfellini, the director of operations for the Cal...
Read full storyArizona Prohibits The Goodyear Blimps From Entering The State
PHOENIX - In a move that has totally shocked the owners of the Goodyear Blimps, Arizona has informed them that the state will no longer allow the blimps to enter into the state to televise shots of football stadiums, baseball stadiums, and basketball...
Read full storyPresident Obama: Kim Jong Un Better Settle Down Before I Turn North Korea Into A Parking Lot
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has stated that he has just about had enough barking from that little Shih Tzu pup AKA Kim Jong Un. The president has said that if Kimette keeps on talking like a crazed escapee from the Pyongyang Loony Bin then...
Read full storyAll-Star Celebrity Apprentice - Donald Trump Fires Brett Michael's In Season Opener
NEW YORK CITY - Season 13 of All-Star Celebrity Apprentice proved to be bad luck for rock singer Brett Michaels as he was the year's first victim. Brett was definitely thrown under the bus by the black and white tandem of Omarosa and Brande Roderi...
Read full storyAnd the winner is...
With awards season in full swing, all eyes we're on the Borchester Hotel in London's glittering West End this week as the A-list to end all A-lists arrived to pay tribute to those entertainment luminaries who really make a difference to our lives.
Read full storyThe Charlotte Bobcats May Move To Boise, Idaho
CHARLOTTE - The Charlotte Bobcats own the worst record in the entire NBA and are currently on a ten game losing streak. Michael Jordan, owner of the Bobcats, said that he is positively livid at his team's 13-50 record. He remarked that attendan...
Read full storyAmanda Knox: Italy has No Extradition Treaty with 160 Countries
Italy has extradition treaties with following countries: Argentina, Australia, Austria, The Bahamas, Bolivia, Brasil, Canada, Costa Rica, Cuba, Germany, Kenya, Lesotho, New Zealand, Paraguay, Peru, The Vatican, Singapore, Sri Lanka, The United States...
Read full storyBloomberg Bids To Become The Second Jewish Pope
The Vatican -- New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is moving to complete a deal that would make him the second Jewish Pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church. "St. Peter was Jewish and he turned out to be the indestructible rock God chose to head his ch...
Read full storyGOP Acquires Carnival Cruise Lines for 'Fun and Profit'
Somewhere At Sea - Looking to shake its stodgy image and sinking popularity, the Republican Party has purchased Carnival Cruise Lines. The move is designed to rebrand and re-energize the right side of the political spectrum. "From here on out, the...
Read full storyHoney Boo Boo Visits A Petting Zoo
TARZANA - Alana Thompson better known as Honey Boo Boo star of the reality TV show, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo paid a visit to the world famous Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo located in Tarzana, California. Alana was accompanied by her mother "Mama"...
Read full storyThe List of 10 Little Known Facts About Michelle Obama AKA The First Mama
Michelle Obama has repeatedly stated that she has no aspirations, urges, needs, or desires to ever go into politics. She has made it abundantly clear, after having talked at great length with Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, and even GOPette Condoleezza Rice and hearing all about the behind-the-scenes happenings. Mrs. Obama has said that she wants to eventually head up her very own law firm a...
Read full storyColorado Now Allows Gay and Lesbian Couples To Marry While Smoking Pot At Their Wedding
DENVER - In an unprecedented move that no doubt will resonate with chants of 'How about us?' in the Left Coast state of California, the Colorado senate has just passed a law approving same sex-marriages. State spokesperson Sterling P. Tiggletucker...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - Don't Forget to Move your Calendar to 2013
Isle of Wight residents are reminded to move their calendars forward tonight to 2013. Despite the annual spring reminder and widespread use of the Internet there are many hold outs to sharing the 2013 calendar across the island with many communities...
Read full storyAmanda Bynes Meant Drake Bell
In 'The Little Prince' the fox says "Words are a source of misunderstanding." Today Amanda Bynes has set the net on fire by tweeting "I want Drake @ Drake to murder my vagina." The Twittersphere thinks that Amanda Bynes is talking about the Jewish ra...
Read full storyPostal Service to Begin Delivering All Mail to Some Guy Named Steve
Just weeks after the financially struggling US Postal Service said it would have to cease Saturday mail delivery, postal officials now say they don't have the money to deliver the mail at all. "We're billions of dollars in the hole, and we just...
Read full storySurvivor of Siamese twins joins parents
A Harley Street surgeon has made history by joining his parents' hands together in a unique operation. Dr Jason Perrglew was originally one of a pair of Siamese twins born in 1973. They were joined at the head, but had to be separated when they we...
Read full storySandra Bullock To Star In Going In Circles - The Danica Patrick Story
HOLLYWOOD - Tri-Moon films in association with TouchRock Pictures has just announced that Sandra Bullock will be portraying NASCAR racer Danica Patrick in the motion picture Going In Circles - The Danica Patrick Story. Bullock agreed to do the fil...
Read full storyAirport-style security scanners will search Cardinals for pagan implants, satanic tattoos etc
Rome - A light frisking under the cassock was all that was needed in 2005 when the church's princes lined up their credentials to elect a new Pope under Olden Day rules. On Tuesday the Vatican's new get-tough policy on wackos and weirdos kicks int...
Read full storyArizona Prohibits Public Breastfeeding During The Daylight Hours
PHOENIX - The state of Arizona has just passed what has got to be one of the most amazing state laws in the history of state laws. According to Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom Pillow Talk the Arizona state senate has just passed The Senator Arlene...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - Mayor Baffled by Decision
A TOWN mayor has said he is baffled by an Isle of Wight Council decision. The Isle of Wight Council, which made the decision is sticking by the decision despite opposition from the Mayor. Council spokeman Gordon Gillies says "It is the right of...
Read full storyGiant hanging penis discovered in Amazon forest!
Amazon Forest, somewhere in Brazil: A huge hanging penis has been discovered by anthropologists studying hidden, indigenous tribes in the Amazon rainforests. The discovery is a sensation because never before has a living penis been discovered with...
Read full storyEngland's Burrito Bell's Introduces The Silver Saddle Supreme
LONDON - Britain's prestigious consumer watchdog agency known as BBB for Britain's Burger Bureau has just released a news bulletin stating that traces of horse DNA have now been found in some of Burrito Bell's menu items. A representative for Engl...
Read full storyGisele Bundchen Agrees To Drop Her Dancing With The Stars Lawsuit
NEW YORK CITY - Gisele Bundchen recently filed a lawsuit against the producers of Dancing With The Stars. The lawsuit stemmed from the fact she had been promised that she was going to be a celebrity contestant on this season's edition. But at...
Read full storyDelaware Now Requires Condoms To Be Worn At All Times
DOVER, Delaware - The East Coast state of Delaware has just passed a bill that will require all males between the ages of 18 and 48 to wear condoms at all times. According to state spokesperson Pandora P. Hissyheimer, 61, the bill was passed due t...
Read full storyJohn Mayer Refuses To Sell Nude Photos of Ex-Girlfriend Katy Perry
WEST HOLLYWOOD - According to a close friend of John Mayer the singer has been approached by the supermarket tabloid Say What? about purchasing some nude photos of his ex-girlfriend Katy Perry. The 35 year old known as Mayer The Player told Say Wh...
Read full storyLady Gaga had a relationship with Father
Lady Gaga never wanted to speak out about Father until now when her manager advised her to tell people her side of the story. "I encouraged her to tell people where it hurts, so she can experience self hypnotherapy, and the world will see her a...
Read full storyMobile phones cause rise in disruptive behaviour in UK schools!
The days of dscipline in UK classrooms has gone and been replaced by groups of disruptive zombies pressing buttons on mobile phones and other gadgets. Teachers in the UK are complaining about the uprise in such behaviour because they cannot conce...
Read full storyObama sends emergency goody bags to Vatican Choom Room
Rome - College of Cardinals tokers got a rare treat today as an emergency aid package from the White House signaled the start of the Papal bong convention. Hundreds of pick-n-mix Walmart goody bags laden with candy, chewing gum, cigarette papers,...
Read full storySouth Dakota May Have To Sell Mount Rushmore
KEYSTONE, South Dakota - A fact finding team comprised of three South Dakota state senators recently traveled to the Black Hills town of Keystone, South Dakota. They visited the Mount Rushmore National Memorial, site of the colossal presidential s...
Read full storyAnn Coulter Banned From Visiting Iowa
DES MOINES, Iowa - The state of Iowa has just issued a mandate which prohibits the Republican know-it-all, better known as Ann Coulter from ever setting foot in the state. The mandate came about as a direct result of Ann Coulter's recent statement...
Read full storyOJ Simpson Caught Trying To Dig His Way Out of Prison
LOVELOCK, Nevada - The warden at The Lovelock Correctional Center is reportedly quite upset at the fact that one of his most noted inmates, O.J. Simpson, tried to actually break out of his prison. Left Coast Mirror Magazine is reporting that Simps...
Read full storyKim Jung Un Hospitalized With Over-Inflated Testicles
According to reliable sources in the Chinese Ministry of Health, North Korean leader Kim Jung Un has been hospitalized in China due to his over-inflated testicles. Sources close to Kim say that a typographical and translational error occurred befo...
Read full storyThe Amazon Rainforest To Be Completely Paved Over
RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil - A League made up of nine South American countries, who share in the Amazon Rainforest, has decided to act on a very important issue facing the area. Alejandro Alfredo Chimichanga, who is the President of the nine nation gr...
Read full story'Big Bang' ages 80 million years in single day
Fans of utter bollocks are today enraptured by the news that people posing as scientists are claiming that the universe is 80 million years older today than stated yesterday. According to George Esfthathiou, "There's less stuff that we don't under...
Read full storyPresident Obama Makes Vice-President Joe Biden Apologize For Doing The Harlem Shake
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama caving in to the advice of his wife, the first mama, has asked the vice-president to apologize for his version of the Harlem Shake. President Obama, Vice-President Biden, and Piers Morgan were all having lunch at...
Read full storyA List of 10 Updated Songs By The Rolling Stones
LONDON - The Rolling Stones have been rocking and rolling since 1962, and the elderly English lads show no signs of stopping or even tapering off. Lead singer Mick Jagger and lead guitarist Keith Richards are both 69. The band's drummer Charlie Wa...
Read full storyKim Jong-un's harem is awseome says Dennis Rodman
Florida - "Those babes sure made me feel welcome," Rodman commented after his controversial North Korea trip, "even little redhead Ding-a-Ling who Tiger reckons goes like a rocket despite a Miss Pyongyang Sink Hole 2013 moniker, heheh...but then th...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Invites Honey Boo Boo To Visit North Korea
McINTYRE, Georgia - There is surprise in the Alana Thompson household as little Honey Boo Boo child as she refers to herself has been invited to visit North Korea by Kim Jong Un. At first Honey Boo Boo's mama, June "Mama" Shannon thought that the...
Read full storyDennis Rodman to Represent Obama at the Hugo Chavez Funeral
The White House has announced this evening that Ambassador-At-Large Dennis Rodman will represent President Obama at Hugo Chavez' funeral. It is rumored that Chavez was a huge admirer of the basketball diplomat and that his last words were, "Denn...
Read full storyPope Benedict To Meet With Lindsay Lohan
LOS ANGELES - Word out of the Vatican is that Pope Benedict XVI, has informed his press secretary Leonora Sardinia to set up a meeting with the much troubled Tinsel Town starlet Lindsay Lohan. The pope, 85, said that last week he received a text m...
Read full storyTribal Group Sues the Vatican Over Smoke Signal Rights
Cheyenne, Wyoming -- The Tribal Gathering Is taking the Catholic Church to court over its use of smoke signals to announce papal election results. "Just because you know how to build a fire doesn't mean you can steal our proven communications tech...
Read full storyWeed Smoking Cardinals Get High To Pick New Pope
All eyes will be peeled on the chimney of the Sistine Chapel on Wednesday as the Roman Catholic cardinals tasked with electing the next pope convene for a second day of unadulterated pot smoking. The 115 voting eligible church leaders will return...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Hits Back At Tina Fey and Amy Poehler
ASPEN - Taylor Swift was in Colorado getting in some recreational skiing. While in Aspen she revealed to Hollywood Innuendo reporter Fajita San Guacamole that she is still very upset with the sarcastically sophomoric remarks made about her by Tina...
Read full storyThe Charlotte Bobcats and The Orlando Magic Hoping To Keep From Being The Worst Team In The NBA
CHARLOTTE, North Carolina - The Charlotte Bobcats who have a 17-54 record and the Orlando Magic who have an 18-54 record are each trying their very best to keep away from the NBA cellar. Sports Balls Illustrated Daily has just announced that there...
Read full storyTina Fey To Write A Song About Taylor Swift
HOLLYWOOD - Amy Poehler apologized to Taylor Swift. Tina Fey says that Kirstie Alley will stop eating cake, pie, and burgers before she apologizes to T-Swizzle. Swift, 23, is still fuming about having Fey and Poehler gang up on her during the rece...
Read full storyTucson Sets The Record For The Smallest St. Patrick's Day Parade In America
TUCSON - The city of Tucson, Arizona is home to The Saguaro National Park. It is also the home of the largest loincloth producing factory in the entire United States. The Laughing Lynx Loincloth Company was established in 1883, and at one time it...
Read full storyDyson launches the Dyson Hair Straighteners
People with frizzy hair, curly hair or hair with a slight kink three quarters of the way down, can now finally rejoice in the fashion of perfectly straight hair. Safely. "One of the major drawbacks with traditional hair straighteners," said James...
Read full storyDennis Rodman Visit Caused Nuclear War Threat After Gangnam Style Confusion
Dennis Rodman's recent visit to North Korea is the main reason why the world stands on the brink of nuclear war and millions of North and South Korean troops are mobilizing and massing on the border of the divided country. North Korean leader Ki...
Read full storyYoko Ono's designer adult diaper line bombs
New York - The octogenarian artist is being sued over intellectual property rights to her latest line of geriatric sanitary wear by rival designers who allege plagiarism and, er, 'taking the piss'. Ono's super-absorbent incontinence pads were laun...
Read full storyWill.i.am. Announces He's Changing His Name
CHICAGO - The leader of the Black Eyed Peas, Will.i.am. was in Second City visiting one of his aunts, MayShontell "Grits" Waterford, 62. While in Chi Town, he was asked by Tittle Tattle Tonight about the rumor that he was thinking of changing his...
Read full storyBedroom tax plans scrapped after the bedrooms at number 10 are counted
David Cameron has been left with a quandary tonight when he discovered that should his government charge people for having a room they don't use, that Downing Street would be eligible to be taxed. "It turns out that every government owned building...
Read full storyBritney Spears Responds To The Promiscuously Lewd Pix
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Britney was jogging out by the famed Hollywood sign when she was approached by a member of the entertainment media. She was asked by Tequila Tallyho with Left Coast Mirror Magazine about the recent erotic photos that appeared on...
Read full storyPolar bears 'going mental' from BBC interference
London - Wildlife experts have slammed dodgy BBC documentary tactics after some Norwegian bi-polar bears complained of being interfered with during filming sessions. Covert video cameras caught bears behaving badly after a microphone was inserted...
Read full storyIndiana Plans To Ban All Reality TV Shows
INDIANAPOLIS - The Hoosier State has gone on record as being the first state in the nation that will be banning all television reality shows. State Senator Cicely G. Flexbi, 64, of South Bend, informed the news media that her and fellow Senator Ma...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Breaks Up With Her Mailman, Guys Who Mow Her Lawn, Kid Who Bags Her Groceries And Passing Cyclist All In One Day
Taylor Swift has announced that she has broken up with her 54 year old mailman - Eric, the spotty teenager who bags her groceries at her local supermarket, Jose AND Manuel, who provide lawn care for her palatial home and an unknown cyclist who happen...
Read full storyThe Houston Astros Decide Not To Change Their Name After All
HOUSTON - The owner of the Houston Astros, Drayton McLane, Jr., has assured the Houston fans that contrary to what the rumor mills have been churning out, he has decided not to change the team's name. Sporting Chance Magazine had reported that sev...
Read full storyArkansas To Limit Marital Sex To Three Times Per Month
LITTLE ROCK - A spokesperson for Arkansas Governor Mike Beebe, has just informed the news media about a new Governor's Directive that will go into effect on Monday, March 25, 2013, at 12:01 a.m. The GD clearly states that from that date forward, m...
Read full storyAmerica Braces for, "The Lindsay Lohan Effect", Institutions Will Crumble. Entire Countries Collapse.
Television networks chain up the doors, Restaurants fail, photographers go on unemployment, body shops go out of business. Jewelry stays on shelves. A entire industry fails. What could possibly be behind all this chaos? Lindsay Lohan.
Read full storyMobile Game Developer Can Upgrade From 'Lite' to Full Defense in Lawsuit, Says Supreme Court.
In a bold and self-congratulatory move, a group of mobile gaming enthusiasts have sued Novio, the developer of the Angry Fowl series, for $50 million dollars, according to papers filed in New York Federal Court today. According to the suit, Novio...
Read full storyNew York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg's Latest Food Restriction Is Un-American
NEW YORK CITY - Mayor Bloomberg has just announced that he is now turning his attention to the all-American food item known as the hot dog. The mayor of the world's largest city is still reeling from having his Big Gulp directive overturned by a N...
Read full storyIs The NFL Heading Towards Touch Football?
PHOENIX - Many NFL fans are wondering if the Arizona heat may have gotten to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and some of the team owners after some of the new NFL rule changes were announced. Sporting Chance Magazine reports that the major rules ch...
Read full storyGary Busey To Host New TV Reality Game Show - Dysfunctional Celebrities
BURBANK - The Contempo Television Network (CTN) has just announced that it is adding a new reality game show to its viewing line up. The show is a Goodmeister-Toddheimer Production in association with XYZ TeleFilms and is titled Dysfunctional Cele...
Read full storyCalifornia Wants To Buy Marijuana From Colorado
BEVERLY HILLS - A Southern California group known as FOP for Friends of Pot has contacted Colorado state authorities about the possibility of making a rather large purchase of Colorado marijuana. Hayden "Scooter" Tallyhouse, 21, representing FOP s...
Read full storyDe'Marquise Elkins and Charles Manson
BACKDOOR, Hell. (AP) - De'Marquise Elkins was captured trying to smuggle a cell phone inside a California prison where Charles Manson is housed, authorities said Wednesday. De'Marquise Elkins, 63, was arrested Sunday for investigation of conspira...
Read full storyMother's Day comet returns after 110,000 years
Europe - Revered by the ancients as an omen of catastrophe Comet 2011 L4 Panstarrs will be nearing perihelion over British skies on Mothering Sunday next week. Its flight path is being videoed from the International Space Station which monitors an...
Read full storyCardinals pick Satan to be next Pope
St. Louis - Matt Holiday of the Cardinals announced today that the Cardinals have picked Satan to be the new Pope. While there are no good Catholics on the team, many are well versed in the ways of the Vatican. "We feel Satan best represents the...
Read full storyDennis Rodman Says He Wants To Be The U.S. Ambassador To Mexico
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Former NBA rebounding champion and ex-member of the The Chicago Bulls, Dennis Rodman paid a visit to the White House. He met for about ten minutes with President Obama before the president had to leave for an important meeting w...
Read full storyHealth & Safety Executive Announce Ban On Shaving
"Razors have sharp edges" stated H&S Executive Everard Fortescue today after the release of a shocking shock report on shaving accidents in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. "People are bleeding" says Mr Fortescue - "an...
Read full storyKim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian's New Pineapple Infused Muff Perfumes
Everyone knows the Kardashian sisters are close but they have gone from the ridicules to the sublime in their show, "Kourtney and Kim Take Miami". In a recent show Khloe told Kim and Kourtney that if they drank pineapple juice it would make their...
Read full storyDennis Rodman should be hung!" says GOP! "He is!" says Kim Jong-un.
Senators John McCain and Lindsay Graham took to the Senate floor yesterday afternnon while holding hands and condemned in highly charged language the visit of Dennis Rodman to North Korea. A red faced and agitated McCain screamed, "This is no way...
Read full storyEllen DeGeneres Adopts Girl From Costa Rica
Ellen DeGeneres is a proud new mom, now that her adoption of an 8-year-old Costa Rican girl is official, DeGeneres' rep tells Celebrity Gossip Magazine exclusively. The girl's name is Selena Gomez Ramirez, born in November 2005, according to the...
Read full storyPope Emeritus Wants His Old Job Back
"Mamma mia, I resigned too soon," he's told friends. He had hoped to find another job, but he didn't realize that there aren't many to be found in this economy. Word is he's been pounding the pavement; but, so far, no luck. Potential employers are...
Read full storyNASCAR's Dale Earnhardt Jr. Calls Jeremy Clements a Punk For Using The N-Word
AVONDALE, Arizona - Popular NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt, Jr. has just criticized fellow race car driver Jeremy Clements for his use of the N-word. Clements, was being interviewed by a reporter for Afro Sheen Magazine when, he inadvertently blurte...
Read full storyHomeland Security Releases 5,000 Illegal Immigrants Due To Budget Cuts
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The secretary of The Department of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano has verified that 5,000 illegal aliens that were being incarcerated in California, Georgia, Maine, and Texas have been released due to federal budget cuts. S...
Read full storyScottish Nationalist Chavs mourn Hugo Chavez
Glasgow - The Venezuelan dictator famously gave his name to legions of 'council housed and violent' Brits known by the pejorative epithet 'Chav'. Identifiable by blingy street-couture chic the subculture's Scottish Nationalist branch is in mournin...
Read full storyAnderson Cooper Kisses Madonna - Says He's Still Gay
NEW YORK CITY - The GLAAD Awards were presented at New York's Marriott Marquis de Sade Hotel and the biggest part of the event was when Madonna presented Anderson Cooper with an award. Madonna, was dressed as a Boy Scout and she told the audience...
Read full story'Plenty of room in the Ecuador bunker!' Julian Assange tells Oscar Pistorius
Pretoria, South Africa - "Sure it's a bit cramped but whaddahell?" the fugitive from justice chuckled during an internet call from his Ecuadorean embassy basement hideout in London SW3. Holed up pending extradition to Sweden the Wikileaks founder...
Read full storyBritney Spears Flashes At Sons Soccer Game
Not to be out done by Lindsay Lohan hogging all the headlines, Britney Spears stepped up and did a little flashing at her sons soccer practice. Britney showed up to practice in sweat pants and loose fitting top. Appropriate for a normal soccer Mom...
Read full storyPresident Obama Uses Kenyan "Mind-Meld" To Thwart Opponents
Speaking out of both sides of his mouth, President Barack Obama insisted he would not force himself on anyone, saying he will not use a "Jedi mind-meld" to convince his enemies dat he be right. The president even seemed to hesitate on the word "me...
Read full storyNASCAR's Danica Patrick Finishes in 33rd Place
LAS VEGAS - So far 2013, has not been a very good year for NASCAR'S premier female race car driver, Danica Patrick. The 30-year-old has seen an end to her marriage due to the dreaded seven year itch. Plus she has been romantically linked to Da...
Read full storyDennis Rodman and North Korean Dictator to Mediate Congressional SNAFU
Dennis Rodman and Kim Jung Un have decided to offer themselves up to President Barack Obama as the best way to facilitate a detente between the Democrats and Republicans in Congress. According to a Pyong Penh media report, the basketball near-grea...
Read full storyCalifornia Threatens Spin Doctors
SACRAMENTO - Dalrymple's Dictionary defines the term spin doctor, as being a public relations individual who is paid big bucks to put a positive spin on anything of a negative nature. According to The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle the term first c...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Says Justin Bieber Is Turning Into A Real Mess
VENICE BEACH - One of the luckiest females in the entire nation, if not the luckiest, has just issued a statement that even made Barbara Walters utter the phrase WTH (what the hell?). Lindsay Lohan, Hollywood's number one spoiled brat, told Left C...
Read full storyBangladesh riots cause misery; as if they haven't got enough!
Rioters in Bangladesh are causing much misery, death and destruction just to add to the "normal" misery that their people must suffer on a daily basis. The rioters are up-in-arms about a death sentence given to a citizen claiming it was politicall...
Read full storySequestration Castration to Hit Hard in Congress
The dreaded Sequestration is upon us. Which is much like the feared Fiscal Cliff. Which is similar to the 2012 Mayan Apocalypse. Which is related to Y2K. Which is similar to the Bush II administration......wait a minute! That was a real disaster that...
Read full storyHidden service elevator links Cardinal's private quarters with Europe's biggest gay sauna
Rome - "Kinda puts the 'condom' back in 'condominium', heheh," is how one GayTripAdvisa.con reviewer put it this morning as the story went viral in cyberspace. News that a palatial 12-room apartment housing the Vatican's top gay exorcist is connec...
Read full storyJodi Arias Needs a Man
Minutes after Arizona police interrogators told Jodi Arias that she would do life in prison and she would never see a naked man as long as she lives, Arias became psychotic. A July 15, 2008, video catches her sobbing that she was never going to h...
Read full storyKristen Stewart Spotted Out and About With Dennis Rodman
WEST HOLLYWOOD - The star of The Twilight Saga series Kristen Stewart was seen walking hand in hand with former NBA Bad Boy, Dennis "The Menace" Rodman. The two were spotted going into Needleman's Tattoo Parlor which is owned and operated by the w...
Read full storyCharles Barkley Calls Kobe Bryant The P.T. Barnum of Basketball
ATLANTA - One of the most disliked sports announcers in the history of sports announcing has just fired an NBA salvo at Los Angeles Lakers super star Kobe Bryant. Charles "Chubby" Barkley told Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily that Ko...
Read full storyGod: "I'm Tired of Same Old Prayers"
In a written statement today, God said He's tired of the "same old prayers" and asks that people come up with some new ones. "If I hear that 'Now I lay me down to sleep,' chestnut one more time, I'm gonna gag," God wrote. On a side note, 67-yea...
Read full storyPope Francis Serves Eviction Notice on Pope Benedict
According to confidential sources within the Vatican Curia, Pope Francis has served an eviction notice on Pope Emeritus Benedict. The former pope has one week from Easter Sunday to vacate Castel Gandolfo or answer to the Italian courts. The act...
Read full storyIn A Shocking Revelation - Elin Nordegren Agrees To Remarry Tiger Woods
JUPITER, Florida - In a move that caught each one of Tiger Wood's ex-Golf Gate gals by surprise, the word on the streets of Jupiter is that Tiger and ex-wife Elin will soon be hearing wedding bells. Tiger, 37, spoke with Rufus Reno of Sports Balls...
Read full storyBill Gates Funding New Condom Design
Bill Gates is funding a new condom design to be better and more comfortable than the old design. While enormously successful with previous ventures: computers and philanthropy, condom design may prove to be a greater challenge, sort of like: Can anyo...
Read full storyWest Ham to quit playing football and take up athletics instead
David Sullivan, pornagrapher-in-chief at Wet Sham United, have dramatically announced the club will no longer play football in an attempt to get the taxpayer funded Olympic Stadium and £40 million of free council tax money from Newham Council. Spe...
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