Arizona Prohibits Public Breastfeeding During The Daylight Hours

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 4 March 2013


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Arizona Prohibits Public Breastfeeding During The Daylight Hours
Several nursing mothers will challenge Arizona's new breastfeeding law. (Photo by Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio).

PHOENIX - The state of Arizona has just passed what has got to be one of the most amazing state laws in the history of state laws.

According to Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom Pillow Talk the Arizona state senate has just passed The Senator Arlene Nadine Von Vonnegut Daytime Breastfeeding Law.

Senator Von Vonnegut told BPT that the law which was passed by a vote of 21-9, states that any woman over the age of 18, who is either a resident or non-resident of Arizona may not breastfeed her baby and/or babies in public during the daylight hours.

This pertains to public places including retail stores, nail salons, bars, pet stores, and especially fast food restaurants.

The bill further stipulates that breastfeeding will only be allowed after sunset and then it must be done in a private spot away from the viewing public.

When the senator was asked why this law was enacted she replied that she and every senator in Arizona had received dozens of complaints from individuals stating that they would be at a basketball, volleyball, or baseball game and suddenly they would hear this loud slurping sound.

Upon investigating they would learn that the slurping sounds were coming from babies who had their mama's tata's embedded in their mouths.

Young children would naturally turn to their moms or dads and ask why in the world that woman was letting her baby bite her tee-tee (boob).

One particular incident that occurred at a Phoenix Suns NBA game caused the opposing team to call a time-out because the player was at the free throw line and he could not concentrate with a mama openly feeding her baby underneath the basket.

During the time out three of the Sun's players actually walked over to the lady and just stood in front of her nonchalantly watching the feeding festivities.

The woman was soon led away by a hot dog vendor and asked to feed her baby over by the cotton candy machine away from curious eyes.

In Other News. Zydeco Dupree writes in his book Trivia Territory that Attila the Hun's grave has just recently been discovered a few miles outside of Dover, Delaware.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more