Ellen DeGeneres Begs Wife Portia Not To Leave Her

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 2 March 2013

image for Ellen DeGeneres Begs Wife Portia Not To Leave Her
The Hollywood Hills are alive with the upset sounds of Portia DeGeneres. (Photo courtesy of Metta World Peace).

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Mrs. Ellen DeGeneres AKA Portia DeRossi-DeGeneres has reportedly confessed that she is fed up with Ellen's incessant flirting.

Portia, who at 40, is 15 years younger than husband Ellen, told her hair stylist FuFi Fondue that it is very embarrassing to see El openly flirting with women the way she has been doing lately.

Mrs. DeGeneres said that she was really made to feel as if she was two feet tall backstage at the recent Grammy Awards when Ellen was totally smitten by Katy Perry's gorgeous looking rack.

Portia was asked by Carolina Chipotle of iRumors if the rumor that Ellen had actually offered Perry $75 just to let her touch one of her hooters was true.

Portia lowered her head and nodded in the affirmative. She then looked up and said that two days later while her and Ellen were having lunch at The Vicious Guppy Seafood Diner in Marina Del Rey that Ellen had pinched the gorgeous butt of one of the Daisy Duke short shorts-wearing waitresses.

"Ellen thought it was hilarious and the waitress loved it," Portia remarked. She then noted that in their car on the way back to their home, she told Ellen that she had decided to leave her.

Ellen quickly pulled into a Shell Gasoline Station and asked Portia to forgive her. Portia refused.

Portia told Ellen that it was over and she could not stand to see her husband openly making a fool out of himself so she would be moving out of their mansion and moving in with her hair stylist FuFi Fondue.

At that point Ellen told her that if she stayed she would give her $85,000 cash and buy her that Tijuana burro she has always wanted.

As of now, it appears that Portia will think about it and she will let Ellen know her decision within a few days.

SIDENOTE: Meanwhile Carolina Chipotle and iRumors will stay with the DeGeneres-DeGeneres story and bring you any new developments as they develop.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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