The Amazon Rainforest To Be Completely Paved Over

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 1 March 2013

image for The Amazon Rainforest To Be Completely Paved Over
Every bird, insect, and reptile including the Peruvian Python (shown) will be rounded up and transported to the USA.

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil - A League made up of nine South American countries, who share in the Amazon Rainforest, has decided to act on a very important issue facing the area.

Alejandro Alfredo Chimichanga, who is the President of the nine nation group known as La Liga El Nueve (The Nine League), has stated that the group of South American countries has voted unanimously to pave over the entire Amazon Rainforest.

Chimichanga explained that the rainforest covers an area that measures 2.1 million square miles and has become almost impossible to maintain.

The area is home to millions of birds, reptiles, insects, animals, plants, bacteria, and a dozen or so homeless people.

Chimichanga noted that his nine nation group actually took bids on how much it would cost to completely restore the Amazon Rainforest and the amount was absolutely astronomical.

He was asked by the national news agency of Mexico, Las Maracas, what would become of all of the living creatures that inhabit the rainforest.

He replied that every one of the thousands of parrots, frogs, flamingos, woodchucks, piranhas, electric eels, Peruvian pythons, anaconda snakes, and rabbits would be rounded up, flown to the United States, and sold on eBay.

He pointed out that all of the profits will then be divided evenly by ten with each of the nine nations receiving 10 percent and the USA receiving 10 percent as a sellers commission.

To view hundreds of photographs of what the Amazon Rainforest looks like right now and what it will look like after it is completely paved over go to

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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