Jodi Arias Needs a Man

Funny story written by Evil

Monday, 18 March 2013

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"I want a man to live with me inside my prison cell," said Jodie Arias.

Minutes after Arizona police interrogators told Jodi Arias that she would do life in prison and she would never see a naked man as long as she lives, Arias became psychotic.

A July 15, 2008, video catches her sobbing that she was never going to have a baby, through a four-hour police interrogation. Her attitude dramatically changes after police told her that a baby is not the only thing she would never have.

Once the authorities leave the room Arias is seen talking to herself, and playing with a water bottle. She then does a headstand against the wall while opening her legs.

A psychologist testified that people should see Arias' unusual behavior in context.

"A large percentage of women who face long prison sentences develop memories of giving birth and nurturing children," Richard Samuels testified. "We are more concerned with survival."

He said he has met with Arias a dozen times and eventually diagnosed her with post-traumatic sexual stress disorder. "I want a man inside of me forever," said Arias.

"There are many people that want to live with members of the opposite sex inside of their prison cells not realizing that they will actually be sleeping with gays and lesbians," Samuels said.

In the 2008 video, Arias is heard singing a song with the lyrics, "men are raining from the sky."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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