Homeland Security Releases 5,000 Illegal Immigrants Due To Budget Cuts

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 3 March 2013

image for Homeland Security Releases 5,000 Illegal Immigrants Due To Budget Cuts
Replacement border fencing which will be used to replace some of the already rusting U.S. - Mexico border fence.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The secretary of The Department of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano has verified that 5,000 illegal aliens that were being incarcerated in California, Georgia, Maine, and Texas have been released due to federal budget cuts.

Secretary Napolitano informed the news media that it costs the United States government $163.85 per day to house, clothe, and feed each illegal alien in federal immigration detention centers.

She went on to state that by releasing 5,000 individuals it will save the United States $819,250 per day or just a little over $24.5 million per month.

When the secretary was asked by Sinclair Petaluma with Political Salad Bar Magazine where the undocumented immigrants were being sent she smiled and quietly passed over the question.

When pressed for an answer she remarked that under President Obama's directions all 5,000 illegal immigrants will be bused to Arizona.

Napolitano was asked why Arizona and she simply replied, "Because that is where the president wants them to go. There is no hidden agenda here, he just feels that once they are in Arizona they can all just simply have Arizona Governor Jan Brewer and her political cohort Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio open the border fence gates and allow them to walk back to their country."

The secretary was asked why then are all 5,000 illegal aliens being bussed to the Arizona towns of Kayenta, Page, and Tuba City, which are clearly in Northern Arizona 300 miles from the U.S. - Mexico border.

She shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I do not make the immigration policies, I just carry them out. If you want to ask the president why then I suggest you call him on his cell phone at [CELL PHONE NUMBER DELETED BY EDITOR.]

SIDENOTE: President Obama has stated that there are still about 30,000 more illegal immigrants sitting in U.S. federal detention centers. He disclosed that the next 5,000 will most probably be released in Massachusetts. He was quick to say that the fact that it is Mitt Romney's home state has absolutely nothing to do with his decision.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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