Lady Gaga had a relationship with Father

Funny story written by Evil

Sunday, 31 March 2013

image for Lady Gaga had a relationship with Father
From his home, Lady Gaga's father nervously says that he is not the Father in her dreams.

Lady Gaga never wanted to speak out about Father until now when her manager advised her to tell people her side of the story.

"I encouraged her to tell people where it hurts, so she can experience self hypnotherapy, and the world will see her as a stronger person," said Vincent Herbert, her manager.

In an interview with Celebrity Gossip, she explains her experiences with Father growing up. "I had a hard time talking about him when I was a child. Every time I tried to explain what happened to me, I was sent to the shrink," said Gaga.

Ajeesh Ramachandran, psychiatrist of the New York Presbyterian hospital, who treated her when she was a child, told Celebrity Gossip News that Gaga had an imaginary friend named Father who used to give her NyQuil every night before falling asleep in bed with her. Father had told her that NyQuil would help her to forget everything and all her problems would go away.

The incident came to light after Lady Gaga was first taken to a pediatrician who referred her to a psychiatrist. She was showing some behavioral problems which alarmed the pediatrician. Several witnesses had seen her doing the Harlem Shake dressed in a witch's costume outside of Hikers Island men's jail.

After some counseling sessions, she informed Ajeesh that Father was inside her brain and he was doing bad things to her.

Ajeesh told her to explain where it hurts, Gaga then started crying and she accused Father of complaining that she had too much cheese and he was tired of using baby wipes to take it off. She explains how she threw away her Tramezzini sandwich and she refused to eat cheese ever since because it made her sick.

The psychiatrist said it sounds like a brutal act, but it's really not that uncommon to worry about keeping a clean kitchen because of cheese on the table.

Ajeesh diagnosed her with having schizophrenia because she was making up delusional stories in her mind about someone named Father.

She accuses Father of everything she can imagine. For example, "I was secretly hiding in a dog house with Father so nobody could see us," and "I swallowed raw eggs to please Father." In her fantasies, she allows Father to lick raw, wet fish because Jesus likes the smell of fish.

She has another imaginary friend named Cindy Langostino who is a 7-years-old girl that likes to defend Father. In her mind Cindy tells her, "You know Father likes eating fish on good Friday and every Friday is good."

Ajeesh thinks that Lady Gaga's religious upbringing could be causing her to have those delusions.

She once scared her mother by telling her that Father picked her up at Sacred Hearts to eat at Long Johns Silvers' restaurant because Father was craving wet seafood again.

"Please, I can't control myself, I got to have it again, take me to Long Johns Silvers, so you can get it smooth and creamy," said Father.

She tells her mother that Father was referring to the world famous tartar sauce at Long Johns Silvers' sea food restaurant.

That's when her mother realized that her daughter was having problems with holding on to reality.

When Britney Spears heard about what Lady Gaga did to Father, she broke out laughing referring to Father as a freak who picks his boogers.

"I don't know what this Father business is about, but she would make a perfect look alike for Kim Kardashian since they both have the same face and bottom lips" said Spears.

Spears is Gaga's most feared competitor in the music industry.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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