Polar bears 'going mental' from BBC interference

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

image for Polar bears 'going mental' from BBC interference
This lot's filed an official complaint

London - Wildlife experts have slammed dodgy BBC documentary tactics after some Norwegian bi-polar bears complained of being interfered with during filming sessions.

Covert video cameras caught bears behaving badly after a microphone was inserted into their, er, habitat causing intense discomfort in Norway's frozen nether regions.

Up to a dozen of the cuddly beasts were compromised by the Corporation's cameramen who claimed to be trying to snatch glimpses of mating behavior including the legendary bi-polar bear orgasm growl.

Females of the species make this sound as a sign for their mates to bugger off following successful impregnation during coitus.

Males normally take this as a signal to leg it pronto in case a sudden hormone surge turns the she-bears into irrational post-coital monsters hellbent on attacking their now flaccid partners.

Documentary makers say the problem is far, far worse among non-orgasmic female bears who sense that successful fertilization has alread taken place but feel abandoned high and dry by their satisfied mates.

The plight of these magnificent savage creatures is being exposed in a new TV program this week that's highly critical of Beeb tactics.

Sir David Attenborough is 104.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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