Grandpa Ganja On How to Roll a Zen Joint

Funny story: Grandpa Ganja On How to Roll a Zen Joint

I first heard of Zen during WWII when I was a mere stripling, though all I knew about it was that you could shoot arrows like William Tell if you were high on the stuff. Since it was tied to Japan and this was WWII, Zen wasn't real popular with most Americans, anyway, so I gave it a miss. Then, I learned Zen was about more than archery, that it was free but very expensive, easy but hard, clea...

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Vernal Equinox/Passion Sunday/Month of Splendor/Sun Trine Mars shocker!

Funny story: Vernal Equinox/Passion Sunday/Month of Splendor/Sun Trine Mars shocker!

London - (Portents): The sky's on celestial viagra this Sunday as stunning astrological tumescence heralds the start of the zodiac's new year. The Aries Sun trines with Mars, sexybeast god of war in the sign of Leo, celestial big puss and cat-tha...

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Nostradamus Society sue Makers of the Film 'Idiocracy'

Funny story: Nostradamus Society sue Makers of the Film 'Idiocracy'

Claiming violation of copy write protection the Nostradamus Society sued 20th Century Fox and the producers of the cult film Idiocracy. The action stems from newly uncovered and deciphered quatrains written by the famous French guy and seer that...

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Lady Gaga Remembers His Boyhood Days

Funny story: Lady Gaga Remembers His Boyhood Days

According to a new article in "The Two", Lady Gaga told them about his boyhood days growing up in New York City. "Those were great days. The other guys and me weren't a gang or part of a gang but we would slip up to Central Park and pull pranks on...

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Adolf Hitler Reportedly Alive and Living in Mexico City with Conjoined Jewish Twins

Funny story: Adolf Hitler Reportedly Alive and Living in Mexico City with Conjoined Jewish Twins

Mexico City- Shocking reports out of Mexico City suggest that Adolf Hitler is alive and has been cohabitating with Jewish conjoined twins, Golda and Miriam Slotski, since 1962. "I saw him. I swear I did. I couldn't believe my eyes, but I definite...

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French General Threatens China, then Quickly Takes it Back

Funny story: French General Threatens China, then Quickly Takes it Back

Paris- French officials are scrambling this afternoon in an apparent effort to appease their enraged Chinese counterparts. The dispute began with reports of an ill-advised boast made by General Pierre Petit on the French Riviera Monday afternoon...

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Female Comedy Writers sue Letterman; Name Cuff as Co Defendant.

Funny story: Female Comedy Writers sue Letterman; Name Cuff as Co Defendant.

In an effort to highlight the plight of female writers in the comedy field their representatives filed a sweeping civil suit in Federal court asking for class status since they can't achieve it on their own. The Comediennes Union of Nipple Talent...

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Kelly Crabtree get back here

Funny story: Kelly Crabtree get back here

Kelly Crabtree walked away from the Street tonight. Not for good, I hope. Corrie spoof writers, please spare a thought for our non UK writers who are months behind with the plot. But I'll tell you anyway Lady G, since you lost the plot years ago.

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Robert Pattinson pissed as a newt

Funny story: Robert Pattinson pissed as a newt

Robert Pattinson the young star of that vampire Movie, Twilight, got totally pissed yesterday after drinking far to much while partying to celebrate his new Movie REMEMBER ME. Outside the Ivy Club in London at Twilight Pattinson was being helped b...

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Bullocks To You Too Sandra - Brits React Angrily To Oscar Winner's Snub

Funny story: Bullocks To You Too Sandra - Brits React Angrily To Oscar Winner's Snub

Britain responded angrily today to being snubbed by Oscar winning actress Sandra Bullock, who cancelled a personal appearance at a premiere screening of her film 'The Blind Side' in London. The London Evening Paper went so far as to run a banner h...

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Ordinary Man Displaced from Home by Travelers Seeks Solace in Drink!

Funny story: Ordinary Man Displaced from Home by Travelers Seeks Solace in Drink!

A man, a quite ordinary man, a natural born citizen of Britain, and a hard working man indeed by all accounts, was finally driven to drink today after a run in with the National Tourist Board that threatened him with an ASBO and incarceration after...

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'Aliens in Dutch army responsible for Bosnian genocide,' ex-Nato commander tells US Senate hearing

Funny story: 'Aliens in Dutch army responsible for Bosnian genocide,' ex-Nato commander tells US Senate hearing

Washington AC/DC - (Friendly Fire): "I blame aliens, faggots and gypsies," a retired general told a Senate Armed Services Committee's 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy tribunal today. "The Dutch army's overrun by them, it was a massacre," Gen John Sh...

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Adult Kids Meal: Hillary Clinton Bobble-Head McVibrator

Responding to criticism that senior citizens are unhappy because they are not allowed to buy the Kids Meals that include toys for children, the MacDiddy's Corporate Headquarters issued a statement saying that in deference to a generation of fast food...

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Madoff Tosses Salad, Prefers Syrup

In a stunning disregard for the traditions and customs of cellblock 6, famed ponzi schemer Bernard Madoff boldly chooses syrup over jelly as the salve of choice for eating ass. Madoff's cellmate and mentor, J.T. Wilson recalls the event. "It wa...

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Mime's New Invisible Cube Is Bullet-Proof!

Funny story: Mime's New Invisible Cube Is Bullet-Proof!

Clarence "Silent" Fizzle the mime from West Virginia has created a bullet-proof invisible cube! Mimes the world over went bonkers and hopped and flapped everywhere until somebody slapped them down, upon seeing the news. "Too many innocent mime...

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Robert Pattinson Seen With Nina Dobrev Of The Vampire Diaries

Funny story: Robert Pattinson Seen With Nina Dobrev Of The Vampire Diaries

Whoa! Someone has their vampire shows mixed as several tabloids showed Robert Pattinson with Nina Dobrev on his arm headed to a private showing of a new movie and some TV episodes, where reporters weren't allowed inside. However, "ushers", if you...

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The book of Gobble-de-gook goes on sale on ebay

Funny story: The book of Gobble-de-gook goes on sale on ebay

A copy of the book of Gobble-de-gook has gone on sale on Ebay after the seller noticed a story on TheSpoof.com about the book that every politician, every bureaucrat and every writer who writes fancy way out stories needs. Any person who is new to...

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Mail Order Bride Disappointed By Husband's Tiny Package

Funny story: Mail Order Bride Disappointed By Husband's Tiny Package

Thai mail order bride Hoo Flung Dat Wilson was granted a decree nisi by Hastings magistrates as she expressed deep disappointment at the size of her husband Jack's matrimonial package. Speaking through an interpreter, Dat Wilson, as she is now kno...

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Scientists at the Hadron Collider set record for "Jim Beam" energy

Funny story: Scientists at the Hadron Collider set record for "Jim Beam" energy

A record three times the energy level was achieved at the recently restarted European Organization for Nuclear Research center in Geneva, Switzerland yesterday. The collider's usual speed limit is set at 1 Trillion electron volts but overly celeb...

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The Two Justins - Justin Bieber and Justin Timberlake To Record A Duet

Funny story: The Two Justins - Justin Bieber and Justin Timberlake To Record A Duet

IDAHO FALLS, Idaho - Noted singer, songwriter, musician, actor, dancer, and world renowned French fry maker Justin Timberlake was in town to purchase two boxes of his favorite potatoes. He was asked what projects he has coming up for the rest of t...

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Jesse James Says He Is Not The Bad Guy - "Hey My Wife (Sandra Bullock) Kissed Meryl Streep On The Mouth!

Funny story: Jesse James Says He Is Not The Bad Guy - "Hey My Wife (Sandra Bullock) Kissed Meryl Streep On The Mouth!

LOS ANGELES - Mr. Sandra Bullock, aka Jesse James, was asked if the alleged allegations that he was comparing intimate tattoos with an ex-Amish stripper named Michelle "The Bombshell" McGee were true. Jesse shook his head and asked, "The bitch is...

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Lady Gaga Spreads Legs For Amy On Flight

Funny story: Lady Gaga Spreads Legs For Amy On Flight

Last night, on a flight to New Zealand, Lady Gaga found herself in a position with HER LEGS WIDE OPEN, and she definitely wasn't whistling Dixie! She would NOT want YOU or anyone to SEE what she was doing!!! But what happened will shock you a...

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Tees Valley Wind Turbines and ME

Funny story: Tees Valley Wind Turbines and ME

"ENERGY bosses have said the Tees Valley has the potential to build a strong offshore wind supply chain, as the UK's first turbine training tower was unveiled" Direct quote from Middlesbrough's Evening Gazette. Well blow me down with a feather. They're catching up 'over 'ome aren't they? We have wind turbines all along the Lake Erie shoreline where I live and work. The ones in the Tee...

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Nessynappers free on bail

Funny story: Nessynappers free on bail

It's true, the Nessynappers have made bail. Apparently the husbands of two of the fanatics have posted bail for all imprisoned Red Scarf Brigade members. Bail has been set at $300,000,000,000 American. The conditions of their bail is laid out in court documents as follows: 1. The women will not be allowed to listen to any music or watch any videos of Susan Boyle 2. They...

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Tebbit turns up again

Funny story: Tebbit turns up again

Police officers detained Lord Tebbit the rottweiler today at Heathrow Airport on his return from South America. Tebbit, still wearing his Fuhrers uniform after a dash to Argentina, Bolivia and Ecuador where he had been visiting several of the "ex naz...

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Susan Boyle inundated with TV offers

Funny story: Susan Boyle inundated with TV offers

The hairy chinned warbler has potentially struck gold with offers now coming in from ITV, BBC and even Hollywood! 'Subo' as she is now affectionately known is said to be 'chuffed to bits' at the chance to get her mug on TV again so we took a look at...

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Canadian's alerted by Skoob1999's article about Bogus Mothers. FARTS to be deployed.

Funny story: Canadian's alerted by Skoob1999's article about Bogus Mothers. FARTS to be deployed.

Canadians are on the alert after reading Skoob1999's article about Bogus Mothers operating in UK on Mothers' Day. Mothers' Day in Canada isn't until May. A special squad is being trained, as I type. They have all read Skoob1999's article and, fe...

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Chairty Relief

Funny story: Chairty Relief

With the success of Sports Relief and Comic Relief, charity organisations are jumping on the bandwagon and adding to the charity calendar with a whole raft of new Relief formats. High powered businessmen can now look at April 15th of each year to...

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Canada Invades Michigan's Upper Peninsula

Funny story: Canada Invades Michigan's Upper Peninsula

Canadian forces have launched a daring Invasion of Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Dressed in green suits they chose March 17th to cross the Poe Locks into Sault St. Marie. Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm was quoted as saying, "I thought the U...

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Recipe for old age

Funny story: Recipe for old age

The world's media descended on Grimsby today as Ernest Spangler Britain's oldest person celebrated his 117th birthday. Ernest who was born in 1893 has lived through the reign of 6 Monarchs and 23 Prime Ministers and fought in the Great War as a 22 ye...

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Obama Reschedules the Apocalypse

Funny story: Obama Reschedules the Apocalypse

President Obama rescheduled the apocalypse citing various conflicts. "As we all know the Mayan calendar and various other firm sources prove that the world will end on December 21st 2012. After diligent review I, as God's representative on earth, hav...

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Human Tongues Growing Out Of Gravesites in US

It is a phenomenon that has been reported occurring all over the US in the last few months, what appears to be a human tongue is growing out of the ground at numerous grave sites. While the news media has been slow to report it for fear of mass hyste...

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Is Osama bin Laden in custody?

Funny story: Is Osama bin Laden in custody?

In my interviews called 'Tell us the truth' I meet with Rimmer Romesfeld - Press Officer of some 15 years with the CIA. I asked - Is it true Afghan police have inadvertently caught Osama bin Laden on a road heading to Kandahar? "All I can say is that last week a beardy little tosser was apprehended for a broken tail light on his scooter. We stop them all time especially if they look a little...

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Sonia 'likeness' discovered in deepest Wales

Funny story: Sonia 'likeness' discovered in deepest Wales

A misguided family are thanking their lucky stars twice over this morning after a competition brought nationwide attention to what hacks are calling a Natalie Cassidy 'lookalike' Wynnedo Lleyker, 36, won the 'Do you have a yeast affection?' contes...

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John Barrowman dyes, aged 43

Funny story: John Barrowman dyes, aged 43

John Barrowman, the Beeb's light entertainment luminary, has dyed (his hair). The Glasgow born fart-throb enjoyed a healthy birthing back in the sixties but was shocked to learn of major pigment failure a "couple of years ago". The Radio Times pin...

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Is Jon Venables the father of twins?

Funny story: Is Jon Venables the father of twins?

London - (Rotters): The paternity of two year old tots 'Jamie and Robbie Smith' - currently in the care of 'Baby P' social services - was being probed today amid reports they are Jon Venables' kids. Police officers swooped on Venables in his HMP B...

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Pychaitrists Identify The Spoofers Dilemma

Funny story: Pychaitrists Identify The Spoofers Dilemma

Genetisits in Cambridge, MA have identified Spoofers , those guys who write goofy fiction, are blessed and cursed with a genetic mutation. The mutation gives the capacity to appreciate the warping of reality, an ironic sense that regular stuff could...

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Fillery Bumstead Comes Home

Funny story: Fillery Bumstead Comes Home

Fillery Bumstead came home last night to be greeted by a battery of papparazi and massed ranks of TV news cameras. Facing a bank of microphones and looking somewhat bewildered, Fillery Bumstead was lost for words as he blinked into the lights like a...

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Education 'chip' to be implanted into newborns

Funny story: Education 'chip' to be implanted into newborns

A teacher has at last spoken out against a faceless body. Tired of parents complaining of the language used in their children's report cards, this teacher has had enough. Apparently, like everything else, language used in writing report cards is '...

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Gender Bender Jammed Genitalia In Blender

Funny story: Gender Bender Jammed Genitalia In Blender

Neighbours of notorious gender bender Alex Quim today gathered in the street in small groups, murmering, muttering and gesticulating like Italians after Alex Quim was rushed to hospital in the early hours of this morning. With his genitals jammed...

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Rooney Wonder Goal Hits Blind Boy Who Sees Again

Funny story: Rooney Wonder Goal Hits Blind Boy Who Sees Again

Wayne Rooney's stunning 30-yard stunner in the tenth minute of time added-on sealed Manchester United's triumphal victory over a team in a football match at the weekend. But it was more than just an ordinary net-ripper for the greatest living sco...

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Jihad Jane claims "I Didn't Do it"

Funny story: Jihad Jane claims "I Didn't Do it"

Jihad Jane the alleged female terrorist has appeared in court in Philadelphia charged with a terrorist plot. Jihad Jane however when asked how do you plead said "I Didn't Do It". The Blonde with a face like a half chewed caramel has put in as spe...

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Price Pfister Kelloggs Announces Cure for Empty Headedness

Funny story: Price Pfister Kelloggs Announces Cure for Empty Headedness

Just months after Wall Street declared that the merger of plumbing fixtures manufacturer and breakfast cereal maker was not synergistic, the joint companies introduce a new disease-busting-revenue-generating drug. Nothereify, the brand name for lotta...

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Swindon Mum Calls for Sudoku Ban After Teen Tragedy

Funny story: Swindon Mum Calls for Sudoku Ban After Teen Tragedy

A Swindon mum has called for a worldwide ban on the popular, and legal!, Sudoku puzzle after her teenage son and all his friends died following an afternoon of LOGIC PUZZLES!, COUNTDOWN!, and Friday's 'hard' GUARDIAN Sudoku, nicknamed HARD! "Why t...

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Obama Says He Won't Rule out Reconciliation in Order to Join EU in Place of Greece!

Funny story: Obama Says He Won't Rule out Reconciliation in Order to Join EU in Place of Greece!

Flush from his impending victory on Obamacare where Lieutenants Pelosi & Reid subverted the US Constitution, the President now says joining the EU will enable him to accomplish the rest of his shocking goals for the country he detests. In a fa...

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Colonel calls for Nigeria to split on religious grounds

Funny story: Colonel calls for Nigeria to split on religious grounds

Colonel Gaddafi has caused a major row with Nigeria by calling for Nigeria to split into two different countries one Christian the other Muslim. This follows reports that there is never ending gang wars between Christians And Muslims which has led to...

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Morse Killed - Killer Goes Free

Funny story: Morse Killed - Killer Goes Free

Consternation reigned at TheSpoof.com as the news came in that Morse had been killed. Satirists the world over slumped into chairs in stunned disbelief that a much loved and highly respected fellow satirist should have met such an untimely demise.

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North Korea advises Britain & the US to follow their Policy regarding failed Politicians

Funny story: North Korea advises Britain & the US to follow their Policy regarding failed Politicians

North Korea today advised Britain and America, to follow their policy of dealing with failed politicians. This follows the execution by firing squad of Pak Nam Ki, a North Korean politian who has been judged responsible for the financial collapse in...

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Robert Pattinson Attends Launch Of New National Daily Newspaper

Funny story: Robert Pattinson Attends Launch Of New National Daily Newspaper

Twilight star Robert Pattinson this morning attended the launch of the UK's first new national daily newspaper since The Independent as Guest of Honour. Taking time out from his busy schedule, the world's hottest movie star appeared relaxed and conte...

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Paxman to join Williams in the buff on TV

BBC Newsnight anchor Jeremy Paxman has said today that he will join newsreader Sian Williams in stripping off on air to uphold his principles. Ms Williams, a comely 43 year-old who shares the BBC Breakfast News sofa with the lumbering Bill Turnbul...

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Gail McIntyre Remanded In Custody - For Murder

Funny story: Gail McIntyre Remanded In Custody - For Murder

There were audible gasps of shock, horror, and awe yesterday as Gail McIntyre of Coronation Street, Weatherfield, was remanded in custody by Weatherfield magistrates accused of murdering her husband Joe. As Gail was taken down, she gazed tearfully...

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Susan Boyle Turns Down Pussycat Dolls

Funny story: Susan Boyle Turns Down Pussycat Dolls

It's just been announced that Susan Boyle will definitely not be joining the Pussycat Dolls, and will continue her pursuit of a solo career as intended. The Pussycat Dolls have been gradually falling apart at the seams for months but have been kep...

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Have A Break - Kill Some Orangutans

Funny story: Have A Break - Kill Some Orangutans

Shocking news just in from the musical environmental protection group Greensleeves suggests that tucking into your favourite chocolate covered wafer bar could be damaging the Indonesian rain forests, and in effect, killing orangutans. Orangutans,...

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Peter Andre: It's Time I Got Tattoo Removed

Funny story: Peter Andre: It's Time I Got Tattoo Removed

Aussie heart-throb, all round good guy and virtual saint, Peter Andre, has today announced he is to have a tattoo removed. Speaking from a London clinic prior to the procedure Andre said, "I watched my ex-wife on TV recently when she said my name...

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Myths from the Bible: Part 4

Funny story: Myths from the Bible: Part 4

OK CHRISTIANS - NO APOLOGY FROM ME. YOU WERE WARNED IN THE FIRST 3 ARTICLES. OK. So I find myself today speaking about the story of the poor fella Lazarus. I do believe it was said in the famous 'Bible' that Lazarus was raised from the dead by Jesus himself. Well, let me tell you about Lazarus. He was the 'town drunk' and was forever passing out on the street. Parents tried to keep t...

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Chocolate-Smeared Hugh Grant Is Demanding Chocolate Cake At 50 Paces

Funny story: Chocolate-Smeared Hugh Grant Is Demanding Chocolate Cake At 50 Paces

LONDON - Public Relations Guru Matthew Freud, no relation to the Lloyd Freud family of West Wickham, took the old Ukrainian phrase 'Let them eat chocolate cake' quite literally. The two British chaps were at London's Annabel's Nightclub celebratin...

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Davy Crocket is dead

Funny story: Davy Crocket is dead

People all over the world are tonight mourning the death of Octogenarian actor 'what's-his-name' who played the popular Davy Crocket for many years. He was recognized by his trademark, coon-skin hat. A dead racoon whose tail had been chopped off...

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The Monkees Agree to Final Reunion Show

Funny story: The Monkees Agree to Final Reunion Show

Orlando, FL - Monkees fans everywhere can finally rejoice, the pre-fab four have finally agreed to meet for a one-off concert event at Epcott Center in Disney World. The concert is scheduled for next fall on the exact same night at the Rock and R...

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Myths from the Bible: Part 3

Funny story: Myths from the Bible: Part 3

CHRISTIAN READERS, WELL FOR ONE THING, YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE READING THE SPOOF. BUT...IF YOU ARE....ANOTHER WARNING THAT THE FOLLOWING WILL EITHER BE 'OFFENSIVE TO YOU' OR 'AN EDUCATION'. YOUR DECISION. OK. THE SO CALLED MIRACLE OF THE LOAVES AND THE FISHES The Bible (I HAVE to type it with a capital 'B' otherwise the Christians will begin to hate me). The Bible tells a story about...

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Sandra Bullock's Husband's "Tattoo Tart" Is Actually Amish

Funny story: Sandra Bullock's Husband's "Tattoo Tart" Is Actually Amish

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Sandra Bullock's personal hairdresser, Mr. Tabby of Topanga Canyon has reported that the Academy Award winning actress is quite upset over the revelations that her husband, Jesse James, allegedly had an intimate relationship with a...

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Rhode Island Announces Plans to Secede from United States, Align itself with Zanzibar

Finally fed up with being classified as the America's smallest state and with the perceived lack of respect accompanying that classification, teeny, weeny Rhode Island announced plans today to sever ties with the other 49 states. With size in mi...

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Ke$ha Performs On American Idol And Leaves Glitter All Over The Damn Stage

Funny story: Ke$ha Performs On American Idol And Leaves Glitter All Over The Damn Stage

HOLLYWOOD - Ke$ha Rose Petal Sebert, better known as the glitterized singer with the first name comprised of four letters and a dollar sign, performed on The American Idol stage. The white singer from Tennessee with the sing-song, rappin' style sa...

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Myths from the Bible: Part 2

Funny story: Myths from the Bible: Part 2

AGAIN - IF YOU ARE CHRISTIAN DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER. YOU ARE BOUND TO BE EITHER ANGRY OR 'BETTER EDUCATED' THE CHOICE IS YOURS TO MAKE. OK. Daniel in the lion's den. Daniel was a bit of a wimp and was bullied in school. After a few weeks into the new 'term' he told a story about being in a lion's den, to impress his classmates. There were no witnesses and so Daniel was asked to 'prove'...

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Pope To Appear On Saturday Night Live

Funny story: Pope To Appear On Saturday Night Live

Having sneaked into the country overnight, Pope Benedict XVI got down to the studio to practice his routines, beginning with, "Live From Vatican City Moved To New York, It's Me, The Pope!" "I just found out that the popemobile has a Toyota motor.

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Miley Cyrus Chooses College Over Hollywood!

Funny story: Miley Cyrus Chooses College Over Hollywood!

Guess we may not see as much of Miley Cyrus in the near future because she has apparently chosen an Ivy League University over a Hollywood career at the present time. Miley has been trying to make that decision for over a year and now that the las...

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Fat Linda Ronstadt Ruins Mel Gibson's Fantasies

Funny story: Fat Linda Ronstadt Ruins Mel Gibson's Fantasies

Instead of being in trouble again for getting smashed and shooting his mouth off about somebody or other, a very sad-looking Mel Gibson told a reporter from UP2 Saturday night that he had just seen a fat Linda Ronstadt and that was why he was drinkin...

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Myths from the Bible: Part 1

Funny story: Myths from the Bible: Part 1

WARNING! PLEASE DON'T READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ARE A CHRISTIAN AS THIS MAY OFFEND YOU: YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! The first thing I challenge is The Virgin Birth. Give me a break. Mary and Joseph had been 'getting it on' and she became pregnant. Panic-stricken, she made up a story and people were SO desperate to believe in 'something' as they were all afraid of dying, they believed her story.

Read full story View 'Myths from the Bible: Part 1'
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