London - (Portents): The sky's on celestial viagra this Sunday as stunning astrological tumescence heralds the start of the zodiac's new year.
The Aries Sun trines with Mars, sexybeast god of war in the sign of Leo, celestial big puss and cat-that-got-the-cream.
And under this portentuous aspect Druids commemorating the equinox begin amassing atop Primrose Hill for the annual open air naturist shagathon overlooking London Zoo's fabled Tiger House.
Look out for Elin's sister Josefin Nordegren, rumored to be living nearby in the stuccoed splendour of a classic whitewashed Nash terrace.
Meanwhile local NW3-ers Kate and Jude, Sienna and Sadie, Gwen Stefani and Peter Mandelson: all are expected to dance sky-clad in the blazing equinoctal Passion Sunday sunshine, honing horny testosterone output like rutting spring bunnies.
Satanist bretheren next door at St Mary's-Primrose Hill notwithstanding the day promises even wackier vernal ritual as local Zoroastrian naturists congregate in the garden of an anonymous St Mark's Crescent mansion.
"Think incence, candles, wacky incantations and very flimsy clothing," the barman of the neighboring public house the Princess Louise comments.
"Last year they even had an outdoor orgy. Imagine."
Sunday is also the start of the Bahai new year and kicks off the first of the calendar's 19 months with the begining of Bahá, the Month of Splendor.
It is also Mother's Day all over the Arab World as well as in the priviledged, leafy avenues flanking Primrose Hill's illustrious Regents Park neighbor.
And somewhere, twenty miles away, deep in the vampiric vaults beneath Windsor Castle's notorious Chinese laundry an old cold war crone lies gasping for heir as the Old Year of the Windsor Un-Dead draws to its inevitable close.
"The Queen Is Dead! Long Live The Queen!"
