Police officers detained Lord Tebbit the rottweiler today at Heathrow Airport on his return from South America. Tebbit, still wearing his Fuhrers uniform after a dash to Argentina, Bolivia and Ecuador where he had been visiting several of the "ex nazis in wheelchair" rest centres, was visibly disturbed (nothing new there) as he was led away by.
He is believed to be helping police with their enquiries following an incident at Chinese New Year when a Chinese gentleman ended up with a drum shoved over his head outside the Rottweilers Lair, Tebbits home in Bury St Edmunds. Tebbit is alleged to have shouted that the Chinese were making so much noise that he could not hear his Susan Boyle CD.
Apart from his addiction to subo, Tebbit's hobbies, memorising all of his darling Maggies speeches and rewriting "Mein Kampf" occupy much of his time. He is alleged to be dressing more and more like his idol, subo, so that his impression knocks the socks off the next Conservative Party conference in Blackpool.
Hairbrush David Cameron is wetting himself with excitement as he can now be Amanda Holden.
His wife samcam has the digicam ready to capture the love of her life.
Subo was not quoted as saying, stupid Tory nutters, stuff them all Gordon.