Nessynappers free on bail

Funny story written by Lady Godiva

Friday, 19 March 2010

image for Nessynappers free on bail
Miguel Sentafarto - Defense Lawyer of The Red Scarf Brigade

It's true, the Nessynappers have made bail.

Apparently the husbands of two of the fanatics have posted bail for all imprisoned Red Scarf Brigade members.

Bail has been set at $300,000,000,000 American.

The conditions of their bail is laid out in court documents as follows:

1. The women will not be allowed to listen to any music or watch any videos of Susan Boyle

2. They are ALL to wear ankle bracelet location devices but are prohibitted from painting them red.

3. They are allowed to wear red scarves, but only the red plastic tacky ones.

4. The women must comply with a restraining order issued on behalf of the residents of Blackburn which states the women are not to come within 20 miles of the village.

5. Walkers crisps can NOT be consumed.

6. They must watch 'live' daily performances by Roy Chubby Brown. Chubby agreed to do this public service after receiving an e-mail from an ex-Middlesbrough writer for The Spoof, currently residing in Ontario, Canada.

7. No blessings must be bestowed or received

8. Each woman must keep a daily diary and must, on no account mention Susan Boyle in their entries.

9. Visitors to their cave, will be allowed but all visitors will have to endure a full cavity search before being allowed to enjoy their visit just in case they try to smuggle CD's of Susan into the cave.

10. Last, but not least, the women must refrain from practising their Scottish accents as local farmers reported that the last time they did so, the cows stopped giving milk and the chickens wouldn't lay eggs.

A date for the 'trial' is to be announced as soon as the court officials stop laughing.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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