Wayne Rooney's stunning 30-yard stunner in the tenth minute of time added-on sealed Manchester United's triumphal victory over a team in a football match at the weekend.
But it was more than just an ordinary net-ripper for the greatest living scouser because the ball struck lifelong red Damian Carlsberg-Nobble, (2) blind since birth, who was in his mother's arms behind the goal. Damian's mother Chantelle Carlsberg-Nobble was amazed when Damian announced he could see for the first time in his life.
"I was gobsmackerooneyed," said Chantelle (14). "It was a rooning miracle," she went on and on. "Comparisons between Wayne Rooney and Christ are completely justified."
Wayne Rooney is working on a special free kick that he hopes will cure cancer for the World Cup.
As news of the Rooning miracle reached the Vatican, the Pope described it as one of the finest Rooning moments in the history of the western world and said that Rooney was a really good bloke.
Sections of the ball struck by the great Rooon, a Nike Total 90 Aerow II Hi-Vis ball with six-Wing carbon latex bladder sponsored by Durex, will be available from the Manchester United shop for distribution to missions in Africa.