CHRISTIAN READERS, WELL FOR ONE THING, YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE READING THE SPOOF. BUT...IF YOU ARE....ANOTHER WARNING THAT THE FOLLOWING WILL EITHER BE 'OFFENSIVE TO YOU' OR 'AN EDUCATION'. YOUR DECISION.
OK.
THE SO CALLED MIRACLE OF THE LOAVES AND THE FISHES
The Bible (I HAVE to type it with a capital 'B' otherwise the Christians will begin to hate me).
The Bible tells a story about Jesus feeding the 5,000, give or take a few because who the hell went round and counted them? They could all have been moving about when they were getting counted and there might only have actually been 1,000 of them. Some getting counted more than once.
So, fishes and loaves were put in a basket and Jesus and his mates went amongst the 'so called 5,000' handing out food. Ooh! when they had finished they had more than they had started with in that there basket.
Well! Knock me down with a feather. I KNOW what happened.
You see, everyone went out to listen to Jesus that day and many of them took packed lunches. Some couldn't afford lunch so they expected to go hungry. But, they figured it was worth it to miss a meal just to hear Jesus speak.
Lunchtime came and Jesus noticed that some people didn't have any food so he 'pretended' to perform a miracle by sending around the basket of bread and fish. He KNEW there were some greedy folks in the crowd and hoped they would have guilty consciences as the basket was passed around amongst them.
Sure enough, those in the crowd who had brought enough food to feed a family, never mind just ONE person, they began to feel guilty (well not ALL of the tossers, but some). They
began to put some of their extra food into the basket as it came to them to pass on.
So, by the end of the 'passing around of the basket' Jesus noticed that there was much more food there than he had 'sent out' intitially.
Miracle? NO. Guilty greedy people? YES.
