Canadians are on the alert after reading Skoob1999's article about Bogus Mothers operating in UK on Mothers' Day.
Mothers' Day in Canada isn't until May. A special squad is being trained, as I type. They have all read Skoob1999's article and, fearing 'copy cat' crimes will take place on Canadian soil, every Province and Territory is on full alert.
The special squads will be known as FARTS (Fiercely Angry Rubber-bullet Toting Sods). They will begin operations at 2 a.m. on Mothers' day whenever that time IS where they are deployed.
Disguised as ugly women, they will work their 'sections' in pairs, carrying handbags and will be wearing brightly coloured trouser suits made out of polyester.
The public are said to be feeling 'much more comfortable' on hearing this news.
A 'doubting Thomas' said, "We should ALL stay alert whether the special FARTS are working or not. FARTS can't be everywhere can they? There just won't be enough FARTS around on Mothers' Day in MY opinion. I just hope the FARTS who are around are successful and that we can all celebrate Mothers' Day without fear of Bogus Mothers knocking on our doors."
He added, "If someone knocks on your door on Mothering Sunday, don't open it. Lock it and dial 911 in case the FARTS are not in your area. It has been announced that 911 operators will be awaiting your call and will get FARTS to your door ASAP. You'll know it's NOT the Jehova's Witness because they NEVER go 'Witnessing' and knocking on doors on Sundays".
This writer says: "Good luck to the FARTS. Hopefully the Government will deploy the FARTS on Fathers Day too. Some Fathers said they're not worried because they already have enough FARTS of their own. It is up to individual families to educate these 'Old Farts' who obviously don't know what the hell is going on".