OK CHRISTIANS - NO APOLOGY FROM ME. YOU WERE WARNED IN THE FIRST 3 ARTICLES.
OK. So I find myself today speaking about the story of the poor fella Lazarus. I do believe it was said in the famous 'Bible' that Lazarus was raised from the dead by Jesus himself.
Well, let me tell you about Lazarus. He was the 'town drunk' and was forever passing out on the street.
Parents tried to keep their children from seeing this drunken spectacle but to no avail. He couldn't be avoided because he 'passed out' on the street daily.
Having suffered many months of having their children look at, and question, the reason Lazarus lay comatose in the street, the mothers decided to call on Jesus. He was well known for 'fixing things'.
Jesus agreed to come and do what he could to help these mothers and their children.
He came to the street where Lazarus lay comatoze and Jesus threw a bucket of cold water over him.
Lazarus got up and spluttered,
"Was there any NEED for that?"
As Lazarus began to focus and saw Jesus with the empty bucket in his hands, he said:
"Oh yeah! It WOULD BE YOU! I suppose you are going to claim this as another bleeding miracle. Give me a break. For crying out loud, are your followers THAT stupid".
With that, Lazarus headed home to watch a re-run of the reality show, "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?"
